Monday

Blogging will be light this week I've got a shitty summer cold. I also sliced my finger open on a can of tomato sauce and the bandages are making it hard to type.

I'll be back to visit everyone once I get to feeling better.

Have a good week!

Embarassing but funny

I was grocery shopping with the kids yesterday and at the last minute I remembered that we were out of bananas. We headed over to the produce and I grabbed up a bunch. Just as I was putting them in the cart I noticed there were little round stickers on each banana.

My son pipes up with: "look dad it's Obama!" "Yes Brudder it is Obama!" my daughter exclaimed. I looked up and there were some people giving us dirty looks. One guy's face was as red as a beet. I looked down at the banana's and sure enough they were portraits of the characters from the space chimps movie.

My daughter asked me : "Why Obama's face be on the bananas?".

At this point I was getting annoyed at the dirtly looks from the other shoppers so I just said" 'he does look like a space chimp doesn't he..."

Just so you don't think I'm making this shit up...

http://www.slashfood.com/tag/dole+banana/

Lolcats 20

My latest installment..the kids have been helping me pick out pics and with caption suggestions.

Explaining stuff

Some people call me a know it all. They think I have an answer for anything...well I do about most things except when people ask me why people behave a certain way..then I have to just wing it.

Daughter #1 "Dad why is that woman drinking coffee and putting on makeup while she's driving?"

Hammer: "I don't know honey, maybe she's just stupid."

Daughter#1: "How did she get stupid."

Hammer: " I dunno maybe her mom and dad were stupid too"

Daughter #1 "Dad, can people catch stupid like germs?"

Hammer: "No but if kids are raised by stupid people then they might grow up not knowing any better"

Daughter: " If I do something stupid does that mean I'm stupid too?'

Hammer: "Only if you do it over and over and never learn from the consequences"

Daughter: " You tell me when I do bad things ok because I don't want to be like that woman"

Hammer: " no problem it's a deal"

Daughter " Oh look that stupid woman got caught by the police mans..is she going to jail"

Hammer: " Yeah probably, it looks like she made the policeman spill his coffee"

A meme

Six quirky things
Tagged by Lonestar girl

I haven't done a meme in a while so I was happy to oblige on this one.

1. I'm good at making something from nothing or creating the things I need from household objects around me. Once when all my dad's appliances were stolen I used a waffle iron to make steak and potatoes.

2. I always have an urge to fix broken things rather than replace them. Sometimes I'll spend countless hours gluing a shattered dish back together instead of buying a new one.

3. My internal clock makes me a good cook. I can make each part of a meal so it all comes out hot and on time without thinking about it.

4. I have a recurring nightmare where I have several old cars and I end up parking them all over town then forgetting where I left them..when I finally remember they are always gone.

5. When someone pisses me off beyond my normal tolerance and doesn't immediately take steps to correct their behavior, I just walk away and never look back.

6. I often look back on parts of my life, cringe and say to myself..."What the fuck were you thinking?"

Examining the profanity.

I get quite a few comments about my creative use of profanity.

There was an episode of Spongebob on recently that called them "sentence enhancers" I kind of agree. Sprinkling these enhancers in the right places usually helps the reader know exactly how much disdain or emphasis you wish to communicate regarding a subject.

Example: The cashier at the store gave me incorrect change for my 20 dollar bill and refused to admit his error.

Enhanced: The syphilitic cunt face at the fucking store ripped me off for ten bucks and then that pole smoking cum gurgler had the audacity to deny it.

Example: Honey, do we have any of that personal ointment..my hemorrhoids are acting up again.

Enhanced: Gotdamnit! My corn hole feels like it's been sodomized with a barbed wire dildo..gimme that ass cream and a tampon before I fucking bleed to death!

The enhanced sentence seems to reveal more emotional details and gives the reader a more honest perspective on the situation.

My youth was spent less fist fighting with bullies and more trying to out insult them.
I started out innocent and pure and due to necessity I became a seasoned spewer of vile verbal filth.

It would go something like this...Setting 3rd grade playground

"Hey hammer your dad gives great blowjobs and he only charges a quarter a blow"

Me " At least I have a dad, your mom got pregnant during the third act at the donkey show"

Sometimes my insults would go too far and I would be sent to the school counselor and given a psychiatric evaluation. I either passed or was so screwed up they didn't know what to do with me.

Sometimes the 8 year old Hammer likes to take over during a blog post and sprinkle some sentence enhancers around.... and no I don't want to talk to any more fucking shrinks.

B.S piled even higher

I've been married 17 years and I've only paid half attention to the shit that litters her side of the sink. What the fuck are all those tubes and bottles for? It's like some fucked up chemistry lab over there. She has baskets and bags of these fancy ass frosted bottles piled four deep. Under the bathroom cabinet is even more of this bullshit..what in the hell is it for and why do women need all this shit for basic hygiene?

White tea skin guardian....liquid moisture...silk therapy..balancing cream...extra emollient face cream..cleansing gel...buffing cream...supercharged moisture cream..stress relieving vapor bath....and more...Are we doing skin care or running a fucking body shop? I use soap and shampoo... as long as it doesn't smell like strawberry douche cake.

What the fuck is up with all these febreeze and room sprays... if you have something stinky in your house fucking remove the offending item. Don't spray the dead cat with cinnamon burst room oxidizer...you are only compounding the problem. Air freshener is bullshit. I have an idea!Don't be a dirty bastard and maybe your house won't smell like a fucking bait shop dumpster.

Speaking of stink, what the hell is the deal with those worthless vent fans you find in most bathrooms? They don't suck the farts out of the room and they sure as hell don't remove any bad smells. I only turn the thing on when I need the fan noise to drown out the sound of my ass cheeks smashing back together after I launch some high explosive colon ordnance. Bathroom ass fans are pure bullshit.

My favorite month of the year is August...you know why? No fucking holidays. If the bank isn't closed, it isn't a real holiday. All these hallmark excuses to buy gifts and cards are bullshit, Mothers day..if you don't care enough to call mom or buy her something when it's not an obligatory gift day then one or the both of you is an asshole and you should call the whole thing off...

Secretaries day, grandparents day, earth day, St Cock Fluffers day... Isn't there just a fucking day where we don't celebrate anything? Tell you what folks...if you know someone who deserves some recognition just fucking give it to them and ignore the bullshit holiday. Conversely, don't give shit to people you hate just because some cock master on TV told you it was "ex wives day"

Saturday night

These guys are weird but always entertaining.

Weekend update.

Thanks for all your questions. I answered them here http://hammeroid.wordpress.com/

I'm watching my 4 year old nephew this weekend so I've got my hands full. Everyone have a good one!

Reminders

Drop me a line if you would like your blog added to my sidebar links.

Also, don't forget my advice blog Dear Hammer... Just send an Email to bohab@hotmail.com with your question and will post the answer at http://hammeroid.wordpress.com/

I also contribute to a blog called "Sensible folks" where we talk about helpful hints, money saving ideas and recipes all tested by our contributors.

Cheers!

Even more B.S.

In this continuing series I examine the copious amounts of bullshit in our society.

Home renovation shows. such as "Let's fuck up a perfectly good house" Here they pile the shit on thick. I think they purposely make a house look like a blind pimp's Cadillac just to get a reaction. These designers have about as much business decorating people's homes as Foster Brooks does sponsoring an AA meeting. Who the fuck plasters hay on a person's wall or takes the home owner's record collection and uses it to make a fireplace mantle? If I walked in and someone did that to my house. I'd be pulling some Texas Chainsaw shit and be wearin their asses for a hat.

Fast food. Pure bullshit! It's not fucking fast nor is it food. Sitting in a drive through for 45 min breathing car exhaust and rotten dumpster fumes is bullshit. I know those fuckers are scratching their asses and touching your food. I used to work in the industry... fast food is rat and roach infested filth. Make a fucking sandwitch you lazy sombitch. Over the course of a lifetime you will save yourself 50 grand and a painful bypass surgery.

Television preachers...holy lord these people are the biggest ass raping cock diddling con artists on the fucking planet. Do they ever do anything except beg for donations so the preacher can go snort cocaine off of naked Thai hookers? I saw one of these fuckers begging for money because Jesus wanted a skyscraper!!! What the fuck does Jesus want with a fucking skyscraper? Oh I know.. Jesus can stand on the roof and teach crooked televangelists to fly.

Hard on pill commericals..this is even more bullshit..Opening scene: These old geezers are about to get their freak on... then all of the sudden the grand kids ring the doorbell. Grandpa is just getting a boner with his Cialis. He had better get those little sombitches out of his house real quick like so he can lay some pipe on grandma before that shit wears off. Do I really want these mental images? And why the fuck are they showing these commericals in the middle of spongebob?

Musicians...these days I don't hear music..I hear some whiny ass punk crying into his microphone about his mommy being mean to him...boo fucking hoo. And what the hell is going on in those commercials for Christian music? Why are those lemmings crying and holding their hands in the air? Maybe I'm just a fucking heathen but it looks stupid as hell. NEWSFLASH! (C)rap isn't music. Anyone can steal a guitar riff from a real musician and then mumble about rims, big booty beotches and killin whitey. Modern music sucks a diseased moose cock.

B.S Part one

One of the problems with living in a first world nation where people live in relative comfort and luxury compared to 80% of the rest of the world who live in huts made of cow shit and sift through mine fields for scrap metal is the phenomenon called bullshit.

It can be argued that everything is bullshit except for the basic necessities of life, food water, air and shelter. I won't go that far, but it seems that we live in a society obsessed with bullshit.

Meaningless, unadulterated, 100% certified grade A unpasteurized bullshit.

Let me give you a few examples of our obsession with bullshit.

TV reality shows, "American Ahole", "Half naked drunk moron house", "Dancing like an intoxicated dickhead" "Washed up stars screwing for crack" etc... People are really into this shit and it's all they fucking talk about. GAH! STFU already! I have no desire to hear about who got kicked off fake titty island or who blew who on "My three dads".

Pet psychic, pet psychologist, gerbil whisperer. etc... this is another form of bullshit..errr dog shit. I don't give a flying rats ass about what is making fluffy depressed. Catbox..check...meow mix..check...thousand dollar couch to shred..check.. I'm not in the least bit concerned about the mental health of a fucking cat. Oh my dog is uncontrollable and he mauls small children..whatever shall I do? Oooh Oooh I know...fucking shoot it. Then spend the dog psychologist money on yourself shithead!

Cosmetic surgery... Unless you are getting shit fixed from an injury or birth defect....then leave it alone... People get old...they get saggy...they start smelling like cheese so get over it! Eye lifts, ass lifts, tit balloons, injecting bacteria, pumping lips full of shit out of a cows ass...some of these old assholes have had so many face lifts that they can use their dick for a necktie. Old is beautiful and if you don't think so then you can lick my old saggy nut sac.

Diets...Got to be the biggest most profitable load of bullshit I've ever seen. Ever eat Jenny Craig food? It's like eating a pile of dehydrated ass crackers. Shit on a shit shingle for only 90 bucks a week...no shit you are going to lose weight if that's all you're going to eat..Wait! I have an idea! Just make awful, terrible, disgusting food at home and you can save yourself a small fortune. Hell, you can sell it to stupid people and make a shitload of money.

Celebrities..oh fuck don't get me started on these assholes. It must take some uber fucking mental illness to make someone want to pay 11 million dollars for a picture of something Angelina Jolie squirted out of her beefy dew flaps. And riddle me this batman..Heath ledger took an Elvis cocktail and washed it down with a bottle of gin...and that makes him a fucking hero? He was a goddamn broke back ass hopper... not Jim Morrison for crissakes.

Shit I need to take my blood pressure pill.. I've only scratched the surface of the bullshit.

Even more random thoughts

What is it with people who can't laugh at themselves? Walking around with a chip on your shoulder 24/7 is way too much work. I don't get offended when people make fat jokes, Mexican jokes, Irish jokes, computer nerd jokes. I laugh at stereotypes. To me they are hilarious. You have to make a conscious choice to get upset at these things. If you get offended by a racial joke then you just might be one of the reasons that joke was thought up.


What the hell is up with sugared foods? Vegetables are not meant to taste like cotton candy.

Sweet potaotes are already sweet..hence the name... why is it necessary to add a pound of brown sugar and marshmallows? Blechhhh! I went to a character themed dinner in a colonial era restaurant at Disney world, they served sugared carrots, sugared baked beans, sugared yams and honey glazed string beans...it was enough to send someone into a diabetic coma. My nephew was forced to eat the carrots by minnie mouse and he puked all over her dress. It was fucking awesome!


Why do the latches on bathroom stalls never work. It's really hard to do pay a proper visit to the porcelian shrine with one foot holding the door closed. If there is toilet paper on the roll, it is invariably the John Wayne brand. It's rough and tough and don't take no shit off nobody.

I was at the gas station the other day for my bi-weekly fuel ration when I happened to look up.

The plexiglass box on top of the pumps that holds the credit card applications made me do a double take. Someone had cut a picture out of a magazine and placed it in front of the applications. The picture was of a woman taking it three different ways at once. Why does all the weird shit happen to me? I grabbed the pic, took it inside the store, (which happened to be full of people) put it on the counter and told them they needed to check the other pumps. Everything got quiet and eyes went wide... Not sure if that was the best way to handle it..

Letters I've been meaning to send

Dear cell phone user. I'm going do you a favor and stick that Nokia up your ass because your head has already made the trip.

Dear Obama supporters: Quit calling me at all hours of the day and night and ringing my doorbell. I didn't drink the koolaid. If you don't cease and desist I will put on my Curious George costume and march up and down main street with a "Chimps for Obama" sign.

Dear SBC: I made one 40 minute long distance call last week and you charged me $46 because I didn't choose a long distance carrier when I signed up. Since you find it necessary to take any opportunity to sodomize your customers with a splintered shovel handle, I say so long, cock nozzles... you just lost a 20 year subscriber.

Dear punk on the crotch rocket. If you think you can race between stopped cars at 80mph during a traffic jam, let me tell you, just wait..someone, someday will open their car door.

Dear: 95 year old lady driving down the freeway at 25mph: I'm really glad you are independent and still have 4 years left on your drivers license. However, I get really nervous when I all I see are two wrinkled hands on top of the steering wheel and your head doesn't even clear the dashboard. I find myself wondering if Jesus really is your co-pilot.

My nephews birthday

Yesterday I went to my nephew's in laws to celebrate his 26th birthday. They have an above ground pool and we usually barbecue and the kids swim while some of the adults get snockered.

My nephew was volunteered to cook 10Lbs of chicken fajitas....first of all it's his fucking birthday and second of all he couldn't cook his way out of a piece of cellophane. Last time I watched him barbecue, he placed 8 charcoal briquettes on the bottom of the pit, lit them and tried to cook 11 ribeyes. I could just see the news reporting 15 cases of salmonella poisoning... This time I told him to go swim and enjoy his day while I cooked.

Everything came out great and I was about to enjoy a beer when a friend of the family asked me to to drive him a few blocks over so his kids could pick up their swim trunks. I agreed and was about to take them when my niece and her great aunt started screeching at me at the top of their lungs. "You can't go! We are cutting the cake" So I waited 10 more minutes and since they weren't even close to being ready I decided to run the guys over to get their trunks.
No big deal right?

The Aunt came running out to my car squealing and screeching like a banshee telling me I had better not leave. I said " I'm running this errand... cut the goddamn cake and leave me alone."

We were not gone but ten minutes and as soon as I walk in the door I have three irate women screaming at me. Instead of getting mad, I got tickled at the retardedness of the situation and started laughing. This pissed them off even more. My wife told me that while I was gone the harpys were claiming that we left to go do drugs. I thought this was even funnier. My nephew told me he didn't give a fuck that I left and he was fine.

The thing that gets me is how ludicrous the situation was and how no one stood up and said shut up and leave hammer alone. When everyone finally realized that their babbling nonsense had no effect on me, they started kissing my ass.

I guess in the old days I would have given them a reaming that they wouldn't soon forget, or maybe just gathered up my stuff and went home. Instead, I just refused to give them the expected reaction and all their negativity was reflected back making them look stupid as hell.

Now I know how my dad feels every day of his life living with his wife and her kids. They act the exact same way 24/7

Today I took my nephew to Carrabas for Italian food (mediocre) and to see Hellboy II. I still consider him my first kid so I try to treat him well.

Summer stuff

I haven't been blogging and visiting as regularly and I would like. Alone time has been rare for me since the summer started. The kids are home and the wife is home all day then works a few hours at night. I like it when they are home but they sure keep me busy.


When I'm alone, food is utilitarian and I probably eat once per day. Cooking and eating aren't any fun unless there is someone to share it with. Lately however, I'm finding myself making elaborate meals three times a day. I enjoy cooking and don't consider it work at all. I've been experimenting with canning my own jalapenos, pickles and homemade salsa. The results have been good so far.

We haven't been eating out and honestly there are only a couple places that serve anything palatable. I'm too cheap to drop sixty bucks for a meal that I'm just going to flush in 24 hours. So instead the kids and I cook together. Now that they aren't so spazzy, teaching them is a lot of fun.

During the day the girls like to bring the dogs inside and make elaborate forts for them with all the blankets and couch cushions. At first I thought Marvin and Chula would be annoyed at having to crawl through tunnels made of quilts and clothes baskets but they seem to enjoy it immensely. I was surprised to see that for the first time since Marvin's back surgery and partial paralysis 4 years ago he is running and jumping again. I'm glad we opted to spend the $3000 to pull the broken cartilage out of his back. He's a good dog and has been thought several traumatizing experiences.

And in other news:
What's all this shit on the TV lately?...The astronomical term "black hole" is racist. Obama telling black fathers to not abandon their children makes Jesse Jackson want to cut his nuts off? The term "devils food cake" is racist? Putting crack dealers in jail is racist. Capcom's Resident Evil 5 is racist because there are zombies in Africa... What the fuck? The race card is overdrawn.. your account is in arrears... now shut the fuck up already.

I wonder if the Obama candidacy is causing this sudden upsurge in ridiculous claims of bigotry and bias?

Thank you.

I want to thank everyone who shared their opinions, experiences, and advice regarding my last post. I'm very fortunate to have you as readers and blogger friends.

I'm really saddened to hear that abuse is so prevalent and the events that many of you shared just strengthen my resolve to not let it happen to my or any one else's kids on my watch.

I have spotted creeps in the past but unfortunately the people I tell invariably make excuses for them and try to sweep it under the rug. I don't know why people are so afraid to face facts and send their kids off to a friend or relatives house like sheep to the slaughter.

Anyway, I will keep your words in mind and staring tomorrow I'm sitting down with my kids and having a serious discussion with them regarding this type of abuse and what to do.

I hope that I can turn this ugly situation into something that will protect others.

By the way, I lost several of my bookmarks and feeds and many of you guys have gone private.

I would be happy to get back to reading your blogs, so just drop me a line (bohab@hotmail.com) and let me know where to find you.

Blinders

The painfully obvious. They call it that for a reason. When people are oblivious to something of importance it can be difficult to deal with. I guess everyone has their moments from time to time, but denial and ignorance shouldn't go on for years or decades.


With regular people I can just avoid these situations by not associating with them. With family however it's not so easy.

My brother in law told me of 2 family members that molested him when he was 8 and 10 years old. As an adult he is just coming to grips with the abuse and after a night of drinking, decided to tell me about what happened in sickening detail.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say so I just told him that I would back him up regarding however he wanted to deal with it.

I really didn't have any advice for the guy. His life was really screwed up to this point and he had a self destructive nature. Whenever we went out there was always a brawl of some sort and more than once I kept his ass out of jail.

The thing that saddened me the most was the violent denial my brother in law encountered when he finally decided to spill the beans about their beloved uncle and cousin. The reactions varied from laughter, calling him a liar, angry indignation and total denial.

Of course, the victim of the abuse became a victim again 20 years later due to the lack of family support. He went home in tears and was swallowing pills in a suicide attempt but luckily I caught up with him and talked him down.

What brought this up was the fact that these two piece of shit pedophiles were at the family reunion I just attended. If I had known they were going to be there I wouldn't have gone. We had to post shifts to watch the children and make sure everyone knew where they were at all times.

What gets me is the rest of the family has to know the nature of these monsters. They grew up with them too. One guy my age is the son of one of one of the worst offenders. The other molester is in a secret gay relationship (I caught them vegetable shopping once) and his parents keep on praying that he will meet the right woman some day...

Gauging the reaction of my immediate family to the claims of abuse, I can't even imagine what would happen if the rest of the family was faced with the cold hard facts.

Given that I'm a relative outsider in this situation I'm not sure what my role in this should be outside of keeping an eye on things and making sure no one's kids are left unattended.

How would you deal with it?

Back from the reunion

The family reunion was held in a hotel out in the Texas hill country. It was a huge house built in the early 20th century and converted to a bed and breakfast sort of thing. Luckily, my family reserved the extra 2 story house on the property that was removed from the main area.

The place was touted as a Christian retreat where all the big evangelicals stay when they are travelling. There were pictures of their smiling faces beaming down from every wall.

The property itself was on the river, but most everyone stayed on the giant outside porch overlooking the grounds and near the pool.

It's funny that even though these are supposed to be reunions, everyone still stays in their little clique and pretty much snubs or avoids everyone else. I figure why go if you aren't going to talk to anyone.

Personally, I felt obligated to hang out with my wife's cousins and their families a little bit each day. They seem to accept me more and more and as the years go by the "kids" become second tier in line to keep the families together. The parents are in their 60's and 70's so those of us in our late 30's and 40's are taking up more of the slack and responsibility.

For the first time this year, I was invited to go golfing on the adjacent course that is partnered with the hotel. I hadn't picked up my clubs in over a year, but the greens fees were comped for 18 holes. It was me and two guys who married into the family like I did, and one legit cousin.

The golf course was fancy. I felt a little under dressed and under skilled but after a while my game improved and everyone started to loosen up and joke around. Turns out that the golf outing was supposed to be boys day out. After the first 9 holes, we rented a cooler and stocked our golf carts with beer and played the last nine a little less seriously. This was the only place I had ever been that encouraged drinking and driving and I was sure that cousin stew was going to dump the cart over with his NASCAR impersonation. We finished our game, downed the rest of the beer and went back across the street to the hotel. Luckily, I brought some mint drops so the boys wouldn't get in trouble with their wives for coming back sauced.

I wasn't sauced but for some reason I got really sunburned and everyone had to ask me at least once why I was fucsia. I was about ready to hang a sign around my neck that read "yes it is a sunburn now shut the fuck up."

Everyone was jealous of our separate quarters and I have to admit it was nice to be able to get away and have my own personal space and kitchen away from nosy relatives and bratty kids.

One of the coolest things was that there were no televisions on the entire property. Not a single one. Some folks were in serious withdrawal and I was laughing my ass off.

I didn't realize that the town's fireworks were going to be launched not even 100 feet from where were staying. The explosions were going off right over our heads and we were showered with sparks and burning chunks of cardboard. It was probably the most amazing display I've ever seen and I only had two burn holes in my shirt to show for it.

Before we left, I had mixed gin with fresca and cranberry juice in specially marked bottles to keep the drinkers happy. Personally, I was too tired to drink so I let my wife, niece and nephew have at it. All the guys at the main house were trying to get me to smuggle them booze but I told them they would have to come over and drink it at our house. Since they weren't allowed to be off the spousal leash, the party at my pad was a no go.

Everything went pretty smoothly except for the fact that my sister in law wore a "worlds greatest grandma" T-shirt even though she hasn't seen her grand kids more than twice despite living less than a mile away from them. She ended up choosing her perpetually pissed off and moody live in boyfriend over her own kids and grandchildren. So understandably, there were a handful of folks who thought that it was ludicrous and were outraged that she wear that shirt.

I about laughed my ass off when my little 4 year old nephew walked up to her and asked "hey lady what's your name again?"

Everything went well so we are going to the same place next year.

Off to a family reuinion

Well my wife's family that become mine 17 years ago. They are a weird bunch but overall decent folks. This year the invitation letter said ABSOLUTELY NO ALCOHOL!

and I said....YEAH RIGHT! I'd like to see them try to stop me.

I broke the booze hymen last reunion because I knew that sitting around in 105 degree heat staring at each other wasn't cutting it. So I bought a couple of cases of beer against the wishes of the old guard. Not surprisingly everyone loosened up and had a good time..except for the old Aunts and hardcore Baptists. They were PISSED. (and not in the British way)

It's not like we are breaking out the beer bong from the second story balcony or passing doobies to Uncle Elmer. Sheesh.

Luckily, we were able to rent a seperate house on the property so I can get away from the nuttiness if I have to.

The thing that gets me the most is how nutless the grown men in the family are. Totally emasculated. It's pathetic to see a man act whiny and subservient. I feel like handing out boxes of midol and tampax at these gatherings.

I'm not a neanderthal beast by any means but most will agree that a snivelling weeping milksop is something to be reviled.

My dad told me long ago, that women instinctively try to take away a man's balls...however, once they are gone she has no longer has a use for him.

Maybe that is too simplistic but in certain instances I can see what he means.

Anyway, I'm off. I'm sure there will be plenty to write about when I get back.

Discussions with American socialists

Lately, with the oil crisis, housing crisis, high costs of health care and the War in Iraq. I've had the unique opportunity to talk to some folks with definite opinions on what to do about the American economy.

I listen politely but find myself bothered by the simplistic solutions and short sighted notions hurled at me by people angry at our current system.

Big oil is too rich and greedy. We need to regulate gas prices and have our government take over the big oil corporations.

First of all market speculators are causing the prices of oil commodities to rise. Oil is being traded like pokemon cards. There is no shortage but the traders are sure that the stuff is worth more than it's intrinsic value.

Price controls...Americans have short memories. Price controls always bring about shortages. Remember the gas lines of the 1970's? It's economics 101. Even communists who control every aspect of a product can't stop shortages. Venezuela installed price controls on sugar, meat and rice. Now there are none to be found. I think people would rather pay more for a product than have it disappear completely.

Nationalizing oil companies? Who here thinks the government can run something honestly and efficiently without completely screwing things up with their ridiculous bureaucracy? Look at Mr Chavez down in Venezuela. He took over the oil, can't manage it, distribute it, or keep the wells flowing. It's par for the course.

Tax the rich....It sounds good. Right? Who is rich? Actually the rich pay the majority of tax revenues in this country. $349K per year and above pay 35% of their income. Should we soak them some more? The wealthy reinvest in our economy, they create jobs with their investment and spending. What does the government do with your tax money?

I'll tell you.

Every dime collected from American paychecks is used to pay the interest on the national debt. Basically, folks work 1/3 of the year and the money is used to make a red mark in the ledger. The money printed has to be backed up with something so they steal from you and literally burn your wages to prop up the fallacy of the American Dollar. Chew on that for bit.

Free health care for all..I hear this one a lot. Let the government manage health care. Talk to any veteran and ask them about the VA hospitals. That is a taste of what socialized medicine is like. When profit is taken away from the field of medicine there is no incentive for research, specialization and competition. Eventually, people are waiting months for life saving procedures. Our current system isn't perfect but if you need life saving surgery, you will get it 10 times faster than someone in Canada or England. You will get it in a private room and you will be a customer instead of a ward of the state.

Lets bail out all the people who are losing their homes. Look at the people who stupidly took out a half million dollar variable rate note and bring home a $30K income. Come on, if people don't ever have to take the hit for a stupid decision how are they ever going to learn? It is not the tax payers duty to pay for people's houses that live in flood zones or get themselves in a ridiculous debt situation.

It's these emotional knee jerk reactions to economic bumps in the road that will eventually send us over the edge.

Lolcats 19 something a little different.

Carry Permit holders

Carry Permit holders

Carry Permit holders

Carry Permit holders

Carry Permit holders

Carry Permit holders

This is a hoot.