My nephews birthday

Yesterday I went to my nephew's in laws to celebrate his 26th birthday. They have an above ground pool and we usually barbecue and the kids swim while some of the adults get snockered.

My nephew was volunteered to cook 10Lbs of chicken fajitas....first of all it's his fucking birthday and second of all he couldn't cook his way out of a piece of cellophane. Last time I watched him barbecue, he placed 8 charcoal briquettes on the bottom of the pit, lit them and tried to cook 11 ribeyes. I could just see the news reporting 15 cases of salmonella poisoning... This time I told him to go swim and enjoy his day while I cooked.

Everything came out great and I was about to enjoy a beer when a friend of the family asked me to to drive him a few blocks over so his kids could pick up their swim trunks. I agreed and was about to take them when my niece and her great aunt started screeching at me at the top of their lungs. "You can't go! We are cutting the cake" So I waited 10 more minutes and since they weren't even close to being ready I decided to run the guys over to get their trunks.
No big deal right?

The Aunt came running out to my car squealing and screeching like a banshee telling me I had better not leave. I said " I'm running this errand... cut the goddamn cake and leave me alone."

We were not gone but ten minutes and as soon as I walk in the door I have three irate women screaming at me. Instead of getting mad, I got tickled at the retardedness of the situation and started laughing. This pissed them off even more. My wife told me that while I was gone the harpys were claiming that we left to go do drugs. I thought this was even funnier. My nephew told me he didn't give a fuck that I left and he was fine.

The thing that gets me is how ludicrous the situation was and how no one stood up and said shut up and leave hammer alone. When everyone finally realized that their babbling nonsense had no effect on me, they started kissing my ass.

I guess in the old days I would have given them a reaming that they wouldn't soon forget, or maybe just gathered up my stuff and went home. Instead, I just refused to give them the expected reaction and all their negativity was reflected back making them look stupid as hell.

Now I know how my dad feels every day of his life living with his wife and her kids. They act the exact same way 24/7

Today I took my nephew to Carrabas for Italian food (mediocre) and to see Hellboy II. I still consider him my first kid so I try to treat him well.