Thank you.
I want to thank everyone who shared their opinions, experiences, and advice regarding my last post. I'm very fortunate to have you as readers and blogger friends.
I'm really saddened to hear that abuse is so prevalent and the events that many of you shared just strengthen my resolve to not let it happen to my or any one else's kids on my watch.
I have spotted creeps in the past but unfortunately the people I tell invariably make excuses for them and try to sweep it under the rug. I don't know why people are so afraid to face facts and send their kids off to a friend or relatives house like sheep to the slaughter.
Anyway, I will keep your words in mind and staring tomorrow I'm sitting down with my kids and having a serious discussion with them regarding this type of abuse and what to do.
I hope that I can turn this ugly situation into something that will protect others.
By the way, I lost several of my bookmarks and feeds and many of you guys have gone private.
I would be happy to get back to reading your blogs, so just drop me a line (bohab@hotmail.com) and let me know where to find you.
posted by Bill Rowland @ July 10, 2008
14 Comments
14 Comments:
I would KILL anyone who harmed my kids. I can't imagine those idiots who let their kids near a pedo! They shouldn't be ALLOWED to have children.
There 'nuff said;) have a good weekend!
And my kids wonder why I am so protective of them and worry about alot of stuff.
The talk you're going to have with yours and the reinforcement of your love and support is such a great thing!
Hope you and your family have a good weekend.
It's such a tragedy that this stuff continues to happen. I know you were hoping to accomplish something more tangible in light of this, but at least you can help protect your kids because of what you know.
I wish you strength in your kiddo talk,,, And I send them focused thoughts to absorb it~~
During your kiddo talk - mention to them to pass the word to the other kids - use a buddy system to protect themselves - kids can be very open to eachother and with all of them banded together, there will be no big secret if any of them are molested.
Jeannie hit that one right on the head about passing it along. Any information they have about themselves or friends they can share with most adults. Or even you for that matter. I hope this goes well and good luck. Protect as many kids as you can with letting them know you are always willing to listen to them.
yeah my husband isn't happy cuz it's just about time that I tell our son the truth about his grandparents. I told my husband that he would know the truth once he was old enough.
I had the talk about appropriate and inappropriate touching and behavior with my son when he was very small. I didn't want him to become a victim.
yeah it's hard, but something we all should do. Hopefully break the horrid cycle.
It's a sad fact of life for parents to have to educate their children to evil, but it's so important and could help to save their lives. We're with you and Mrs. Hammer on this one.
That being said, please enjoy the weekend and your children!
P.S. How are Chulo and Marvin? How is your Father? Sending them all good wishes.
Excellent advice Jeannie!
Even though we didn't know about our daughter's molestation for over 20 yrs, SHE went out of her way to warn any girl that came in contact with her molester.(He had a lot of girlfriends with young daughters after his marriage with my friend broke up.)
Its easy to make statements like "I would kill anyone who did this to my kid" but in reality, what needs to happen is exactly what you said: talk to your kids. Sadly that will not necessarily protect them but if it DOES happen they will come to you knowing it was NOT their fault. Be sure to include in your talk that the "bad person" will lie to them by making threats like "I will hurt your mommy if you tell anyone" "Or I will kill your family, or dog, or you". Predators almost always threaten a child with something. Another one they use is "don't let anyone know you did this with me or they will think you are bad". Young children don't understand. Its confusing beyond words to have a trusted adult touching you inappropriately, you may not even understand that its wrong if you are really young.
You are a hero to me. God I wish my son could have had a father half as caring as you...even 1/4 or 1/8. :(
Another one of those talks that you wish you didn't have to have, but wishing won't make that shit go away.
Jeannie's right on. Keeping quiet allows the creeps to continue with their stuff. From reading you over time, am sure that your kids trust you to the nth degree anyway, but a specific talk on this one is key.
Best of luck, and glad that you're turning this into something that will make your kids stronger.
It's awful, but true, that it always seems to happen to other folks, until it hits close to home. Am a firm believer in gelding the perpetrators (of both genders), but then it's more than likely that they were victims too.
Wow...I missed a lot here....I'm glad you're having that discussion with your kids tho.....You're a great Dad!
Peace
A couple things here:
First, sorry for not getting a comment on your previous post...I still don't have reliable access to a pc.
Second: one very good strategy in protecting your kids:
Limit one-adult-one-child situations as much as you can. If your child will be in a situation where they will be alone with an adult, then make sure that adult KNOWS that you may drop in, that your child will not keep secrets from you.
Also, check the policy at your kids schools regarding one adult one child situations. If they don't have a policy, fight for one! Or invite me to come teach the class called Stewards of Children to them!
Let me know if you want any further information on protecting your kids from abuse... I am happy to help!
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