Even more B.S.
In this continuing series I examine the copious amounts of bullshit in our society.
Home renovation shows. such as "Let's fuck up a perfectly good house" Here they pile the shit on thick. I think they purposely make a house look like a blind pimp's Cadillac just to get a reaction. These designers have about as much business decorating people's homes as Foster Brooks does sponsoring an AA meeting. Who the fuck plasters hay on a person's wall or takes the home owner's record collection and uses it to make a fireplace mantle? If I walked in and someone did that to my house. I'd be pulling some Texas Chainsaw shit and be wearin their asses for a hat.
Fast food. Pure bullshit! It's not fucking fast nor is it food. Sitting in a drive through for 45 min breathing car exhaust and rotten dumpster fumes is bullshit. I know those fuckers are scratching their asses and touching your food. I used to work in the industry... fast food is rat and roach infested filth. Make a fucking sandwitch you lazy sombitch. Over the course of a lifetime you will save yourself 50 grand and a painful bypass surgery.
Television preachers...holy lord these people are the biggest ass raping cock diddling con artists on the fucking planet. Do they ever do anything except beg for donations so the preacher can go snort cocaine off of naked Thai hookers? I saw one of these fuckers begging for money because Jesus wanted a skyscraper!!! What the fuck does Jesus want with a fucking skyscraper? Oh I know.. Jesus can stand on the roof and teach crooked televangelists to fly.
Hard on pill commericals..this is even more bullshit..Opening scene: These old geezers are about to get their freak on... then all of the sudden the grand kids ring the doorbell. Grandpa is just getting a boner with his Cialis. He had better get those little sombitches out of his house real quick like so he can lay some pipe on grandma before that shit wears off. Do I really want these mental images? And why the fuck are they showing these commericals in the middle of spongebob?
Musicians...these days I don't hear music..I hear some whiny ass punk crying into his microphone about his mommy being mean to him...boo fucking hoo. And what the hell is going on in those commercials for Christian music? Why are those lemmings crying and holding their hands in the air? Maybe I'm just a fucking heathen but it looks stupid as hell. NEWSFLASH! (C)rap isn't music. Anyone can steal a guitar riff from a real musician and then mumble about rims, big booty beotches and killin whitey. Modern music sucks a diseased moose cock.
posted by Bill Rowland @ July 16, 2008
38 Comments
38 Comments:
Every. Word. THE. Truth!
Modern music sucks a diseased moose cock.
Damn you have a way with words. LMAO
Okay, Hammer, I must ask you this...have you ever thought of teaching creative writing classes?? Seriously. You're too much! LOL
You are gifted, sir. Your metaphors are very well articulated. The television preachers deserve prison sex.
So in essence, you're not having a happy day then?
Cheers
If you can work some of your wonderful euphamisms for defecating into the next post on bullshit, that'd just be... well... WOW! I'm still keeping the list, you know.
Nicely put! I couldn't agree more. Especially about the modern "music". There's only a handfull of bands worth the money to even buy their shit.
As I suspected ... the screen is beginning to ooooze!
Love it!
Just coudn't resist comming back for part two!! Love it:)
True about every one of them, Hammer !
Spot on again, Hammer. The newest one I heard the other day was 'Pet Parent'. I wanted to pull my cerebral cortex out.
Medicine commericals period. I mean why is the one for the herpes stuff have people moutain biking. What does that have to do with herpes? Maybe this whole time I thought it had to do with sex when really its about sharing a mountain bike... hmmmm lol
I actually met Jimmy Swaggart once. That was before the whole hooker thing. But yeah, they are just bullshit artists that scam old ladies, like 419 assholes with a better scam. Half of them need to be lined up against the wall and shot just to keep the others in line.
Very True. However, Fast Food? Is still insanely delicious. (At least, from what I can remember. Its been 3 years since Ive last had a Big Mac.)
they could do away with television altogether and i could not be happier - hate just about all of it - we keep local on our satellite for the weather alerts alone - otherwise we never watch those.
as for the christian music commercials, yes, they're a little repetitive, but there are some VERY VERY good christian artists out there - jars of clay, third day, to name a couple.
Hammer, I'm truly enjoying this, but when are you going to tell us how you really feel? ;)
Bring it on, brother! We want more!
The Cialis commercials make me miss the days of Masengill disposable douche ads and.
I hate decorating shows, too, which is why I turned them off long ago. Lowers the blood pressure.
And that Cialis commercial gives me the creeps.
Geez - I used to think you were such a nice man.
But when you are right you are right.
And well put too.
I watched one of those decorator shows once, where the "designer" stapled bamboo to the walls. It should have been stapled to him.
I would put something witty and snarky up but all I can really say is a fuckin men man. That was dead on, every one of them.
Amen to everything except fast food. They're doing some wonderful things with fast food nowadays.
Yeah, you still assume the risk of eating spittle or feces, but I think it's worth it for some spicy recipe fried chicken.
Hammer, I'm now convinced one of the pluses of growing old is not suffering through the loud racket with mumbling now called "music".
And when I remove my glasses, I don't see their long, greasy, shaggy hair, multi-tattoos, or the rings and pins attached to their bodies that's humping like dogs.
God! I miss Bobby Darin, Frank Sinatra, and Elvis...
Dude your on a roll
I love when you call them out. Musicians - I so agree with you there. And they're all feeling misunderstood, as if the 'pressure' of making it is real. Most are never gonna make it cause they suck ass.
So get a real job and start paying some taxes!
As I posted in your earlier rant...The Creativity is Gone!
Carefull Hammer...someone just might get the bright idea to put you in charge!
Deech!
I am so glad to see I'm not the only one confused about the hand-raising on the christian music commercials.
Deer Mista Hamm'a-
Ret's (let's) see, I start off mines day wiff this....a blind pimp's Cadillrack...there's 10 points, right there. Then wee continues on wiff Floster Brooks, TV pleachers, Thai Hooka's, Jesus, skysclaper skydiving wessons, Spongeblob Squareplants, Cialris, and top it off wiff a "diseased moose clock".
It's gonna be a beautiful day in PyongYang!
Tanks again Hammer!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL
N. 38th Parallel St, Kaesong, DPRK
Hey babe~~ tell us how you REALLY feel! :o)
OK, breathe dude. Don't bust ta vein. Once again you're right here (finger pointing to forhead). Sick to death of boner ads and bad music. Never do like what they do with peoples houses in those shows. The only one ii think I ever saw where there was some real style was the queer eye dudes. Religion is, in fact, the opiate of the masses, and the masses is asses. the only thing I'd say about fast food is... well, I do loves me some hot, spicy poo burgers and finger picken' fries now and then. Ya gotta die of somethin'.
Oh My! Very true rant but, ah do need to get away for a while? To some nice quiet place? (like Mars?) Sorry you sound very upset...lemme know if you need some laughs:)
You rant so well. I wish I could rant like that some days.
My uncles girlfriend is a class a bitch for sure. And nuts. He sure chooses he love interest with little care. I personally think he scares the shit out of her. She left her husband for him. So the moral of the story is: Be very careful of what you seek. It may just not be good for you or anyone around you. They make each other miserable.
The beach was glorious and peaceful. Very few people. My kind of day for sure.
Have an awesome weekend. I am having a beach weekend for sure.
Did you hear that audio clip where a bunch of kids got hold of one of those drive-thru headsets and sat in the parking lot? When black people would pull up to order, the kids with the phony headset would say, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve niggers here..." It was hilarious, and the real kids inside had no idea what to say or how to deal with it...the customers chimped out!
What I wouldn't give to have one of those headsets!
Wasn't it Hildie that put the hay on the wall. OMG, we watched that show and many times I would shake my head and be thankful none of my neighbors ever tried to pull a house switch with us.
Oh, I so agree!
And about television preachers,I often wonder why the first 5 channels of my cable are filled with them 24/7
So disturbing.
Is there ANYTHING more annoying than those awful blue pill commercials with your kids around. ACK!
The best thing that I have heard recently was my kid picking up on the side effect warnings on some type of medication. She said "SOME TYPES OF CANCER?!! Are you kidding me?"
I am raising the next generation.
Jen
I really don't do TV, so I don't know squawk about these idiotic commercials & such, but I remember when the ex was here, it made me sick... then I would go outside to my porch(I live in the nicest ghetto in town) & see the pregnant crack heads pushing their welfare babies down the street, yelling profanities at the corner house... the bullshit continues...
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