Best movies ever.

Here are some of my favorite movies. Thought I would share them with you.

You can click on the link to read more about them.

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

The Producers ---not the new one

Blazing Saddles

Westworld

Young Frankenstein

Monty Python and the holy grail

Das Boot

The Blues Brothers

Raiders of the lost Ark

1941

For a few dollars more

Dirty Harry

Outlaw Josey Wales

The quick and the dead ....no not the Sharon Stone one

Open Range

The Big Lebowski

Pulp Ficion

Sin city

Lots more but I'm sure you get the gist of it.

With the world the way it is..sometimes we need to laugh

Albino blacksheep

Gas Attack

Dennis Leary

Public service announcement

Student Driver Wrecks car then pees on fire hydrant.

People are liars. Don't trust them.

We all tell little lies here and there. Either to save someones feelings or to make ourselves appear better to others.

Some folks lie with every breath for no particular reason. I know someone who lies about everything from what she had for breakfast, why she lost her job(lying), why her kids won't speak to her etc...

Someone who spends all of their energy remembering and covering lies with other lies causes themselves extreme stress and risk of a nervous breakdown.

I know lots of liars. They lie to my face constantly. I don't challenge them because it really isn't worth my time getting into a pointless argument about what they did.

What really gets to me is when someone spreads lies about me personally.

I went into business with a family member I'll call "Todd" to help them out plus I thought it would be cool to be an entrepreneur again.

I kept the books, did payroll, estimates etc...

Soon after we started becoming successful My " business partner" took the all the payroll and petty cash one Christmas and spent it on his wife.

I told "Todd" not to do it. He said "its my business so its my money" I told him the money belonged to the company and he was making a big mistake.

Sure enough, the employees didn't get paid. They got pissed and called our customers yelling and screaming. Our customers dropped us on the spot.

We lost everything. Luckily I only lost about $800 of my own capital which mainly consisted of a cell phone bill that my "partner ran up with personal calls behind my back".

There were some hard feelings and "Todd" acted like he didn't owe me for the cell phone bill. I called his sister and she made him work it off doing home repairs.

Not long afterwards I was talking to my brother in law who asked me "is it true you stole all the money from your business and screwed Todd over?"

I was livid. Not only had this guy screwed his business, tried to rip me off, now he was trying to tell the family I was a crook who stole from him.

Fucking liars. What is the point of this whole story?

Don't trust people, always have an out and never take anyone at face value without checking the story. There are some sick fuckers out there with no conscience, morals or ethics.

Idealism and optimism need to be tempered with caution and suspicion.

More often than not someone who is a smooth talker with big ideas will try to take you for every cent they can. Believe me I know.

Don't ever blindly invest without written contracts, collateral and witnesses.

You will save yourself a lot of grief if you recognize that everyone is a liar to some extent.

Especially if money is involved.

Lawdog posted this and it made me think back.

I remember my father being very charitable. He would hand out 5 dollars to this old lady every time she came collecting aluminum cans from the trash by his shop.

She never asked for the money, She never made a special trip because she knew the money was there. The only thing she had to say was "god bless you"

Back when I was about 12 I went with my dad to El Paso to sell off some business equipment. We were right next to Juarez so we crossed over into Mexico to look around.

The car was immediately surrounded by beggars. We told them we didn't have any cash. Then one of the beggars pointed to a large box of laxative gum that was on the seat next to us.

"Chicle! Chicle!" the guy exclaimed exictedly.My dad handed over the box and the guy went away happy as could be.

To this day my dad chuckles thinking about that poor guy eating all that gum and crapping his brains out.

One time after dropping my wife off at work I stopped into a Burger King for breakfast. It was in a pretty shitty part of town. The Cashiers were both at least 350 to 400 Lbs, rude, and surly.

As I ate my sandwich I glanced up and saw a very skinny effeminate black man dressed in rags standing at the counter digging pennies and nickels out of his tattered pockets.

The two bohemoths behind the counter were ignoring him although he was the only customer.

They were pointing and laughing at this dude.

Finally, the dominant manatee sauntered up to the registered and asked "What you want you raggedy sucka?" The mans voice was barely audiable but he pointed up to the menu to show what he wanted.

The cashier laughed then pushed his change away without counting it. "that aint enough to buy nothin mothafucka"

By this time I had enough. I walked up put 10 bucks on the counter and told them "give this man whatever he wants"

As I walked out all I could see is the blubber sisters standing there with their mouths gaping wide open.

First hand account of attention deficit disorder.

When I was a kid it was as if I was drifting in and out of a haze.

It started to become a problem in second grade. The teacher would talk and I would see her lips moving but I couldn't hear her although my hearing was just fine.

When people talked to me it sounded like the grown-ups on The Charlie Brown cartoons. Blah blah blah is all I heard.

I always tested high academically but my classroom performance was dismal.

Forgotten homework, not being able to follow or understand teachers directions, being easily distracted were all major obstacles during my grade school years.

I was called lazy, bad student, unmotivated, careless and disruptive.

I had no idea what was wrong with me and it was frustrating being labeled a bad stupid kid by the school and my peers. My parents knew my test scores were high so they labeled me lazy and I was frequently punished.

Gradually I learned to compensate somewhat but I was still a target for overzealous
teachers and administrators that wanted to make an example out me.

Being humiliated in front of the class by some teachers was an all too frequent occurrence.

Luckily there was no hyper-activity involved otherwise I would have been put in military school or institutionalized.

As I began to hit puberty things became clearer as the haze subsided. I was able to excel in history, science and literature. My grades went from D's and F's to Honor roll.

From that point on I pretty much left my difficult and troubled childhood behind me.

Fast forward twenty years.

We decided to adopt from the department of health and human services, we wanted kids and I thought adopting an abandoned or abused child would be the best answer.

We ended up getting a two year old boy. He had a great personality and had been with an excellent foster family since birth. Everything was great until I enrolled him in daycare. I would get daily calls about my son being disruptive, impulsive and fighting with the other kids. They wanted to kick him out.

I quit my job in order to take care of my son full time and educate him at home.

As he grow a little older I noticed that he could not pay attention for more than a few seconds at a time, his head would weave around and his eyes would dart to everything except the task at hand. Any amount of concentration exhausted him to the point where he would fall asleep in the middle of whatever we were doing.

I was praying that it was just being five years old and not this ADHD stuff I was hearing about all over the place.

We decided to let him try public school so that he could meet some friends and be in a more structured environment.

Bad idea. His teacher sent home daily behavioral notes, and no matter what we did
or said he wasn't learning or able to cope with the classroom environment.

When the school administrators decided that my son had failed the first grade I had enough.

We took him to his pediatrician and after an interview and some testing he asked if we wanted to try medication.

The doctor said he wasn't one to hand them out like candy but he said our son had a severe case of ADHD.

I asked if there were any alternatives to the medication. He said we could try any number of things but in cases like this, structure, practicing self control and medicine were his best bet.

After a few days on a daily pill he was a new kid. He began reading, writing, and forming complex thoughts right away. The biggest immediate change I saw was that my son was able to hold a conversation with me and tell me about his day.

After his diagnosis the school was forced to allow my son to attend the second grade.

He gradually caught up with the other children and began working and passing tests
with no problems.

The pediatrician told us that he had a 60% chance of outgrowing ADHD with puberty.

Then it hit me like a ton a bricks...that's what was wrong with me all those years back. I just got lucky enough to outgrow the disorder.

Don't get me wrong, ADD and ADHD over diagnosis, mis-diagnosis and medicating healthy children with lazy parents is bad news.

However, painting all kids and parents suffering through this disease with a broad brush of dismissal is just as wrong.

Bits of wisdom I've picked up along the way.

Truth is simple and falsehood is complicated.

Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause.

Don’t drink alcohol on an empty stomach

Treat others as you would have them treat you.

Always discriminate the real from the unreal.

Don’t sweat the small stuff because it is all small stuff

Fears are things to be faced an conquered.

Don’t hold conversations in movie theaters after the movie has started.

Sitting in front of the TV flipping channels for more than 15 min means it’s time to read a book.

Mind your pennies and your dollars will take care of themselves.

Take your antibiotics until they are all gone.

If you have a complaint speak up because nobody is going to do it for you.

Stand up for people who are righteous.

If you feel depressed start moving and don’t stop until the depression goes away.

Be a leader. If something needs to be done then do it even if everyone else is frozen with fear or uncertainty.

Do not get absorbed into mob mentality, recognize and break away as soon as the mob starts taking shape.

Not everyone is your friend, do not confide in people unnecessarily.

It’s takes a strong person to admit when they are wrong.

Don’t leave a pot on a stove unattended.

Always be aware of your surroundings and confident in your step.

If you act like food then you will become food.

Don’t let bullies walk all over you. Stand up to them and they will wither.

Treat animals with care and respect. Shoot them if they attack you..

Always come to the aid of a neighbor.

A good deed will come back to you ten fold even if it is just a sense of well being.

If a cat sprays something you may as well throw it away.

It’s ok to forgive but you should never forget.

If you don’t learn from your mistakes you are doomed to repeat them.

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is a sign of insanity.

Why do I even bother?

I'm cursed.

There is something about me that doesn't want to let people make mistakes.

It's like being a firefighter in a forest stomping out all the little fires before they can turn into big ones.

It drives me frigging crazy. I guess unnecessary suffering is what I want to eliminate.

It doesn't work.

I'll be at a bar with some friends and a fight breaks out. Stupid friend gets caught up in the moment and starts walking toward the fight with a weird gleam in his eye.

I grab his stupid mesmerized butt and yank him out of the bar...and he gets pissed off at me as 5 cops rush in and start busting heads. "I wasn't gonna do nothin why did you grab me"

Dipshit.

Or someone calls me for advice: "hey I'm at the car lot and they have this 1999 lexus for $26,000... I ask "whats the interest rate?" he goes 26%... should I buy it?

I tell them to stop! cease and desist so I can come over and take you car shopping so you don't get screwed.

They start yelling at me that they are going to buy the car anyway and "why am I being such a dick?"

Another set of friends started getting involved in a religious cult. Smart guys, easily misled.

I say: "dude you told me 5 years ago that if you ever looked at me with a blank glazed over stare and exclaim "did you know jesus loves you?" that I had full permission to shoot you dead right on the spot.

Nope they weren't worth killin. Now they are in la la land now without a free thought in the world bending over for some cult of personality. I didn't know you needed KY jelly to take communion....oh well

I'm beginning to get desensitized. Why in the hell should I help people that don't want to be helped?

I'll tell you why. Its because I have to listen to how screwed they are and how bad their life sucks because I didn't stop them.

I asked my dad about it and if I should keep trying.

He said :

A good doctor finds out whats wrong and prescribes the correct medicine.

A great doctor calls you at home and asks "did you take your medicine?"

An excellent doctor throws you on the ground, sits on your chest and pours the medicine down your throat.

I think I'll mind my own fucking business from now on.

Would you like some cheese with that wine?

No really. It's about wine.

Wine is tricky. You don't have to spend much for a really delicious bottle of wine. I've had a three dollar Chilean Merlot that was much more sophisticated than some sixty dollar bottles of French Cabernet. I've read wine books, I've gone to tastings, I've bought videos.. all bullshit.

Let me reiterate...all bull shit...

Wine is one of the biggest scams perpetrated onto people that want to feel special and sophisticated. Labels mean absolutely nothing, reviews are pure hogwash and price is not a determining factor on the quality of a particular bottle of wine.

Let me give you an example:

There is a Texas Wine called Llano Savingon Blanc. It is five bucks a bottle at my local grocery store. It is delicious, wonderful body, smooth, sweet, a little tart in the finish. Good stuff.

I went to a Fancy Wine Shop looking for something a little different. They tried to sell me my five dollar wine for thirty five dollars. Which probably tells me that most of the other wines are jacked up too or just rot gut that tastes like dirty socks. They actually tried to pass of a dirty sock wine in hopes I would be too embarrassed to spit it on their shoes. They were dead wrong.

My advice. Have a little wine tasting of your own. Go to a grocery or discount house and buy several bottles of inexpensive wine (Four to fifteen dollars a bottle). Invite some close friends over and serve each one blind, one to two ounces per glass, keep track, take notes and compare. Be sure to provide some snacks.

Cheese, fruit, nuts, crackers and olives are good in between wine flights...yes they call em flights dunno why. It kind of resets your taste buds and keeps you from getting drunk enough to where all the wines taste good.

Once everyone compares notes, you may have a few new favorites.

Don't be bullied by wine snobs and don't be afraid of sending back a shitty bottle of wine at a restaurant.


Which brings me to wine tasting rooms. The ones I've been to offer flights of 4 wines to try.

Here is how the scam operates:

Wine one: Carmel with hints of apricots and Turtle Wax

Wine Two: Moldy bath towel with a Limburger finish

Wine three: Good nose, decent body tastes like a soiled cat box.

Wine four: Thank Jesus! This one tastes like grapes...."Whats that? Do I want to purchase a case? "Well I guess so since it's the best wine I've tasted all night"

I've got only one thing to say about Champagne, or sparkling wine. The only perceptible difference I can detect is that the higher the price the smaller the bubbles.

Remember folks, friends don't let friends become wine snobs.

Very cute Google...

It was just pointed out to me that if you type the word "failure" into the Google search engine you get the biography of George W. Bush on the whitehouse.gov website.

How fucking pathetic. Google you should be embarrassed....scratch that..you should be ashamed.

Don't believe me?

Whether you are a fan of Dubya or not this kind of bullshit should not go unchallenged.

Drop a line to google and raise hell.

From the lawdog files..more on banned and censored cartoons.

The LawDog Files: Britain, I knew ye when ye were great.

They have already removed speedy gonzales from syndication because it is supposedly demeaning to hispanics..err latinos..err

If I remember correctly. Speedy won every fight he ever fought and was a hero to all the other mexican ratones.

All WWII cartoons depicting wartime caricatures of Germans and Japanese have been removed from circulation as well. Hell didn't we win that war?

I was lucky enough to get my hands on the most vile of Daffy Duck cartoons where they were frontier cavalry soliders defending the fort against indian attack with GUNS....Guess what? That was censored too.

Don't forget the countless cartoons that have been edited down to the technicolor equivalent of thorazine.

I think I'm going to go watch porky blow away some native americans.

Porky pig singing: One little two little three little indians....POW POW POW.... oh boy that still makes me laugh.

I got a chuckle out of this:

This is pretty funny...at least to me it is.


An open letter to President Bush


Don't get me wrong. I'm not a Bush basher like 95% of the Blogs out there. I like to think for myself and weigh the good with the bad in regards to each issue.

Justifying my hatred for Macgyver

Ok I guess I hit a nerve with my Macgyver comments. Pacifist gun hating freak...

Ok Sherman lets set the wayback machine for 1985.

Macguyver

Plot Synopsis: Angus Macgyver is a secret agent with a difference. He is quiet, mild mannered, deeply principled and refuses to carry a gun on his missions.

In the fourth season of the iconic series, adventurer and part-time government agent Angus MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson) continues to solve problems with the contents of his mind rather than those of a gun. Containing episodes like "Blood Brothers" (where flashbacks reveal the origins of Mac's anti-gun philosophy)

Gunz 'N Boyz
Mac and the Challenger Club try to help a boy prepared to take the rap for another boy murdered by weapons dealers exploiting the fear and suspicion in the neighborhood.

This is the episode where the legal gun dealers say they have the second amendment right to own and sell guns. MacGuyver goes on a 10 minute tirade about how the Second Amendment only applies to the national guard, not death peddling freaks.

Pretty much every episode MacGuyver spouts something about hating guns.

Don't know much about Richard Dean Anderson except he is on The List .

Cows herds develop regional accents....moooo y'all

Maybe I'm the only one thinking this farmer spends a little too much time with his cows.

http://seriously-guys.blogspot.com/2006/08/moos-with-accents.html

Uh honey... I'm going need that skin graft back.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14473165/?GT1=8404

How do you recall body parts?

It seems that they process beef more carefully than humans.

Surfing on the boob tube.

I have about 6 channels that I can stand to watch.

History Channel

History Channel International

Discovery

Nicktoons

Nick

Cartoon Network

The Science channel

I guess I'm a big nerdy kid at heart. Something tells me that I was cartoon deprived as a child because I can't get enough of them now. Adult swim is about the perfect match for my personality.

Aqua teen
Venture Brothers
Home Movies
Family Guy
Futurama
Pee Wee's Playhouse: I didn't catch all those double entendres that show had 20 years ago. Lawrence Fishburne as a sexually ambiguous cowboy and Phil Hartman as a Salty sailor round out the cast.

Good stuff for a tired and cynical mind.

I also like Spongebob, Fairly odd parents and Jimmy Neutron. There is an underlying intelligence to these shows and it is comforting to take a break from shit getting blown up and people bumping uglies all over the place.

Science shows about deep space, shipwrecks and mummies also keep my attention.

One of my favorite History Channel shows is Tales of the gun. Great history with interviews from all the top gun guys.

I still hate MacGuyver he is a pacifist anti gun propaganda spouting freak.

A couple of new shows have caught my attention..

Boston Legal.... James Spader and William Shatner always have me rolling on the floor laughing. http://abc.go.com/primetime/bostonlegal/

House MD... Smart show with a well played asshole doctor. http://www.fox.com/house/

Hells Kitchen....Gordon Ramsay is the biggest fucking asshole you have ever seen and he has a filthy vocabulary....perfection. http://www.fox.com/hellskitchen/

I really hate to go on and on about the idiot box but if you are goin to watch it make sure you get something out of it.

Quick and easy french bread pizza.

I like pizza. Delivery pizza is ok but going out to the restaurant and getting served right out of the oven is the best.

I came up with an easy way to have pizza anytime you want it.

1 large loaf of french bread.

5 cloves of minced garlic

4Tbs softened butter

4 Tbs Extra Virgin Olive oil

salt

pepper

1/2 medium onion sliced thin

One bell pepper sliced thin

One tomato sliced thin

1/2 Lb Shredded mozzerella

Preheat your oven on the broiler setting. Some ovens use 500 degrees some read HI

Take your bread and cut the loaf horizontally being careful to make the top and bottom pieces the same thickness. A bread knife is crucial to this step.

Lay the bread crust down on a sheet pan.

Drizzle the olive oil evenly over the top of the bread letting it soak in

Spread the butter over the top of each half.

Spread the minced garlic evenly

Broil the bread tops on full heat for about 2 or 3 minutes until bread toasts lightly. Don't walk off and be sure to watch it carefully

Remove from oven

Change oven setting to bake at 350

Add cheese then onions, bell pepper and tomato very lightly salt and pepper.

Put the pizza bread back in the oven for about 15 min or until the cheese melts completely over the top.

Remove from oven and let the two halves cool for about 5 min before slicing into 3 inch wide pieces.

Remember you can add just about anything you want as a pizza topping. However, unless you own a 600 degree pizza oven slice your vegetables and meats thinly so they will have time to cook.

The best thing about this recipe is that the pizza is just as good hot or room temp.

Everybody is out to rip you off.

I used to think that human nature is basically good, most people honest, hard working and moral.

I'm beginning to question that assumption.

Here's why I feel that way:

90% of my email is someone trying to scam me with fake hard on pills, fake rolexes, fake stock tips and fake promises of sex. The scammers keep trying to get me to fill in my paypal, ebay, bank account info with threats of cancellation.

When I call someone for an estimate on landscaping, home repair, roofing etc.. They NEVER show up. No call no show. No exaggeration. I have to go drive somewhere and talk to someone in an office to get an appointment and even then they string me along and lie to me for weeks on end.They make me call and bitch several times before a half assed attempt is made to show up and take an estimate. Even then the person shows up is stinking of booze and body odor mouthing off to me with busta this and bling bling that as they scope out my house for their night job as a thief.

Do they not want my fucking money? The US economy must be fucking booming because nobody wants to fucking work.

I was driving down the street and there was a pathetic homeless looking dude with a "work for food god bless sign" The motherfucker had a godamned carton of marlboro cigarettes under his arm. Marlboro's are about 32 bucks a carton. Uh brainiac.... don't wear your rolex while begging.

One time I happened to run across a regular "homeless" beggar running across the highway to get into his brand new Jeep Wrangler. The asshole had the audacity to give me dirty looks for not giving him money at the intersection just 15 minutes prior.

Don't get me started on car dealerships. You know how a car salesman is telling a lie? His lips are moving. These people are the scummiest shitbags that have ever walked the earth.

I recently went in to buy a new car. I had the car picked out before I arrived and the manager tells me I have to pay $2000 over sticker because it is a rare car. Bull Shit. I get up to walk out and they guy is like hold on hold on I'll drop the $2000 premium and you can just pay sticker cause that's they kind of guy I am. I laughed in his face. He goes: Well I have a gentleman from Mexico wiring me my full asking price for the car right now so I don't think you can even get it before the money arrives. I told him OK let Mr imaginary Mexico man have the car.

The guy ends up taking another $5000 off the car and I tell him I'll buy it. I go into the finance office and they fuckers have already put life insurance, gap insurance, full extended warranty and several bullshit fees on the contract. I tell the scumbag no way! He pulls off the fees trying to negotiate them lower and lower. The asshole will not shut up. I have already been in there 4 hours so I tell him to sell me the car for the price I negotiated. Finally I look down and see they put the wrong value on my trade in. The mistakes are always in their favor aren't they?

Then the finance guy lowers the warranty and insurance and tries to get me to buy it again while talking about his autistic kids and how he can't afford a vacation.

After saying "NO" 50 times I get the correct paperwork and see that they charged me double the going interest rate. The man tells me it's non-negotiable. I told him fine. I will refinance with my bank tomorrow morning. The manager is like "you can't do that" I told him: "watch me"

It turns out the place tried to screw me at least a dozen times but they didn't get one extra dime out of me. The sad thing is, all car dealerships are very similar to the one I mentioned so it didn't really matter where I went as long as I stayed vigilant. The people I really feel sorry for are the meek that get eaten alive by these sharks then bent over and slammed not even realizing it until their asshole hurts the next morning.

God I hate people. Crime must pay pretty well.. at least in the gray areas like Realtors, mortgages brokers, car salesmen, corporate lawyers, tax assessors and anyone else powerful enough to make you think you are helpless against them.

I hope there is a hell full of napalm and rusty fishing hooks for these predatory crooks.

Fortunately I do run into a a few decent folks now and again.... you already know who you are.

I Iike to say egg pie...

Something that is really easy to make is quiche....and I don't want to hear any of that real men don't eat quiche crap....



Buy a couple of deep dish frozen pie crusts.

preheat oven to 350

Bake your frozen pie crusts for 15 min and remove to cool

1 onion

1 bunch fresh spinach

1 pound of cheddar or monterrey jack 1/2 lb of each

1 pint of half n half or heavy cream

6 large eggs

salt and pepper


thor·ough·ly wash and dry the spinach and peel the onion chop both very fine (and I mean frigging fine!) preferably in a food processor.

Grate your cheese

In a large bowl with a pour spout or large measuring cup beat all six eggs.
Beat them like crazy. Beat them until you violate their civil rights.

Add 1tsp of salt and 1/4 tsp of black pepper

add 1 and 1/2 cups of the half n half to the egg mixture and whisk thouroughly.

Take your pie crusts and add the spinach onion mixture

Add a large handful of cheese

Carefully pour the egg mixture into the pie crust until it is about 1/2 inch from the top

Bake at 350 for 45 min on the top rack to avoid burning crust

Remove the pies and let them cool for 30 min

These are best eaten at room temp.

Dig in.

You can substitute the spinach and onion with about anything you want as long as the ingredients are not wet and mushy and they taste good with eggs.

Some ideas are mushrooms, asparagus, bacon, extra cheese, broccoli, jalepenos...

You can store these in the fridge. they stay good for a couple of days and taste really good as a cold midnight snack.

I'm laying down nacho law!

I've been reading a bunch of blogs about food lately so I thought I'l let you in on a few secret recipes. You really don't have to know how to cook just how to keep an eye on the smoke detector. That's when you know it's done.

Nachos.

There are as many variations on nachos as there are people who think they know how to make them. Growing up in the American Southwest I feel uniquely qualified to lay down nacho law.

You will need:

1 package of 10 or 12 fresh corn tortillas

Corn oil

12oz can of un-flavored fat free refried pinto beans.

1lb of soft white cheese, cheddar, provalone, mozzerella just nothing too sharp.

paprika, garlic powder(not garlic salt!), salt & pepper

1 large avocado or two smaller ones (ripe)

Cut your corn tortillas into 4 quarters using a knife or pizza cutter (so they look like big triangles. Heat 2 Tablespoons of corn oil in a large frying pan till the oil barely starts to smoke.

Place tortilla wedges in the hot oil and fry them until crisp, lay them on a paper towel and salt lightly. I would suggest making 16 to 24 chips depending on how many people you are serving.

Preheat oven to 350F

Empty your beans into a large saucepan add 1/2 cup of water 1 tsp of paprika
and 1 tsp of garlic powder and bring to a simmer on med low heat stirring occasionally once beans thin out and begin to bubble turn heat off.

Shred your cheese and place it in a large bowl

Smash the avocados into a small bowl adding 1/2 tsp of garlic powder 1/4 tsp of salt and 1/4 tsp of pepper. mix well but leave it a little chunky. You can also add a tablespoon or so of your favorite salsa to the avocados for an additional kick.

Put a dab of beans on each chip and enough cheese to cover place them all evenly spaced on a cookie sheet.

Bake nachos for about five or six minutes or until cheese is fully melted

place the hot nachos on a serving plate and add a dab of fresh avocado on each one and serve immediately. You can garnish with sour cream, salsa or chimichurri if you can get it in your area. Some like pickled jalepenos and diced tomatoes.

Enjoy.

Man with two penises wants one removed.

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=2332740

I thought two heads were better than one...

Clinton administration memos lay out plans to cripple gun industry.

If there is any question regarding what the Clintons had planned for your guns..this should remove all doubt.

http://www.judicialwatch.org/5813.shtml

According to one of the lawyers involved in the lawsuits: "We are going to do to [the gun industry] what we did to tobacco. It's going to be a very large war."

Relationships and pitfalls. Don't get in a rut.

It’s nice having friends, someone to hang out with, someone to help with a project, someone who can give or take advice. There are however, some pitfalls though that can mess up a good friendship.

Lending or borrowing money can be a potential hazard. Not getting paid back can cause hurt feelings and resentment. Not being able to pay someone back can be embarrassing and make you not want to be around the friend that lent the money.
My advice is to be very careful with lending money find a alternative if at all possible.

For example: I bought a gun collection from a friend for fair market value with the promise that he could buy it back if he wanted it.

I have no hard feelings and I’m still enjoying the collection.

Energy sucking is another pitfall that sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Many people go years and years with an energy sucker friend and don’t ever realize why they feel crappy after hanging out with them.

Don’t know what an energy sucker is?

Friend comes over for coffee:

Friend: Oh I’ve had this sinus headache for 3 weeks I’m freaking miserable.

You: Have you seen a doctor?

Friend: Oh they can’t do anything anyway I’ll just suffer through it.

Friend: My job sucks I’m so miserable my life is going no where.

You: Doesn’t your employer have tuition reimbursement you can go back to school and get a better job.

Friend: Oh I wouldn’t know the first thing about that I’m too tired and don’t think I can handle it.

You: Maybe you should seek help for depression.

Friend: Oh no I don’t want to go on that medicine and I don’t have time

Next thing you know your friend has dumped his load of depression worry and crap on you with no desire to take steps to fix their own problems or take advice from you.

This goes on time after time until you are emotionally drained from giving so much sympathy and advice.

You have to be firm and direct with these people:
Tell them you are sorry they are miserable and hope they get their lives back together and you are still their friend but you cannot listen to any more negative feelings.
You will be surprised how people will change their tune when confronted with straight forward honesty.

If they get offended and leave you will still be better off.
Surrounding yourself with positive people with good things to say has emotional benefits and can stave off depression.

English is not a dead language. It is however, lying on the side of the road bleeding profusely.

I've been on the internet since around 94 before that I was on usenet, fidonet and belonged to various dial-up BBS's. One thing I've noticed after all these years online is the extreme degradation of English usage. Why would thousands if not millions of people make the exact same mistake all of the sudden? Is it a conspiracy?

Here are some blatant examples that have become extremely prevalent.

Loose.

I hate it when I loose at counterstrike. (Grrrrrr! This is kindergarten stuff people!)

Saleing.

I'm saleing my beanie babies to pay for the other half of my lobotomy. (Selling! selling! arrrgg!!)

For Sell.

My nose goblin collection is for sell. (Have you ever seen a "for sell" sign? You retarded fuck!)

Very Unique. Unique is like pregnant, either you are or you aren't. People who think they are smart use "very unique" to try to impress people. BZZZZZT! Sorry! You lose! Thanks for playing. We have some nice parting gifts for you back stage.....

Abbreviations have become about as annoying as misused and misspelled words.

PLZ. If you are going to ask for something please spell out "please" you lazy asswipe.

ZOMG. Its not even cute. Its fucking ignorant. Stop it.

KK . Its supposed to be a form of "ok" which itself has retarded origins. Why make it more retarded?

NOOB, NEWB, NEUB NUBE. Its how 40 year old geeks insult each other online from their mothers basement.

PWN. Jokes over. Nothing to see here. Move along people.

Everyone makes mistakes, that's why god bestowed upon us the infallible spell checker.

They're is no weigh a spell checkered wood make a miss steak. That's why I rely on it and do not question it's infinite wisdom.

I feel better now.

Penn and Teller take on gun control.

Good show. These guys are hilarious. Don't click unless you have broadband.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8490506794163083426&q=label%3Agun

Net blues... thoughts on getting spammed

You know, it's kind of hard not to get worn down by all the crap thats thrown at you day after day.

I like to use the internet to take a break from worries, play a game, write an email, read a blog or two. Recently however, I realized that using the computer can be just as stressful and frustrating as walking through a gaggle of mimes, panhandlers and pickpockets.

Email

Yeah. We all get spam, Is your wee wee big enough, hard enough?

Grab dookie shoeshine, Huh? Who uses that for a subject line? Oh.. its some phony stock tip. What kind of moron is going to take a hot stock tip from someone who spams it to sixty million people with some schizophrenic subject line about dookie and shoeshines.

Please verify your Ebay information and include your name address and bank account info or we will be forced to deactivate your account.

...Sure buddy let me grab my ankles too.

I am chief colonel zeppedy boppity boo and I am pleasing to your assistance in transferring sixty million Euros from my late corrupt dictator fathers estate to your bank account.

I'm sorry. People who fall for this without doing at least a tiny bit of research aren't going to get a lot of sympathy from me.

Then there are the less than savvy friends and relatives that send the chain letters embedded into sixty fowarding attachments that take 20 minutes to open.

Yeah, Coke is giving away a warehouse full of Dell laptops to anyone who forwards this letter to 10 people. Do the people who forward these things actually think they are going to get something?

I've been getting these chain letters for over ten years and to my knowledge
AIN"T NOBODY GOT NUTHIN SO FAR! So give up the retarded shit already!

So I decide to go over to usenet newsgroups for some old school forums, car pictures, jokes etc...

More spam, then there's always some arm chair commando ready to jump down my throat for any post I make, calling me a fucktard, (always some brit calling me a fucktard) I just asked for an opinion on DVD burners for christ sake...

Then there are the popups. I'm reading the news on some major web page and I get
popups about everything from prostate exams to computer dating hot singles in my area... My popup blocker isn't even fast enough to keep up it's like.. beep beep beep beeeeeep oh fuck it.

It's enough to make me want to take the computer to the dumpster so that the poor schmuck that finds it can also inherit my high blood pressure.

Blogosphere take deux.

After running blindly through literally hundreds of random blogs in the last few days I have to report that I did discover a few bright thoughtful people, some blogged about their personal life, some the news and some were just wacky and entertaining.

Here you go. check em out. Cool people all of em... I promise.

http://seriously-guys.blogspot.com/ Great takes on the headlines..they are fast on the draw.

http://yewpicot.blogspot.com/ Helene is a intelligent thoughtful person with great taste in art, music and movies.

http://getslaughtered.blogspot.com/ These guys are nuts. Totally 100% certifiable . I don't recommend making any sudden movements around them.

http://phnxrvnflm.blogspot.com/ An amusing take on things. Phoenix has the guts to write the things you think about when sitting on the commode at 4am. Or maybe thats just me.

http://oldsmoblogger.blogspot.com/ Great blog regarding liberty, free enterprise and personal responsibility. These are things I cherish and admire.

I'm sure I'll find more.

Drop me a line at bohab@hotmail.com if you want me to check out your ramblings.

The LawDog Files: You have the right to SHUT UP!

This is from a blogger I started reading years back on thefiringline.com

Funny funny story.

The LawDog Files: You have the right to SHUT UP!

DAWG BLAWG!

I don't normally blog about dogs, babies, teddy bears etc... but I'll make an exception in this one case.

Several years ago we found this dog on the side of the road.

Actually we weren't sure if it was a dog or a black rat.

It was a little too big for a rat and a little too small for a dog.

Anyway we picked it up and saw that it was a dachshund puppy about 6 weeks old. I took it home and put it in a basket with a heating pad and fed it coffee creamer with an
eye dropper. The dog could actually fit in my shirt pocket.

There was a South Park episode on that night entitled starvin marvin where Cartman accidentally adopts an emaciated Ethiopian child. So we started calling the dog Marvin because he was scrawny, emaciated and black. (man that sounds awful)

Anyway, once the dog started thriving he was a typical puppy and one of our other dogs got sick of being pestered by him and bit his jugular vein. I've never seen so much blood.

We rushed him to the emergency vet where they gave him blood and sewed him back up. We sent the offending aggressive dog to live with an Aunt.

This dog has 9 lives. He has fallen 15 feet off of a second story staircase and only suffered a broken tail. He has had back surgery to remove broken cartilage and he has one floppy ear due to a run in with another dog.

But Marvin does have personality. If you give him a bowl of food he flings out all the offending pieces he doesn't like and only keeps the tasty bits. He can run backwards as fast as he can run forwards.

The dog does not need oxygen. We have found him up curled asleep under piles of blankets and in plastic bags that would smother any other creature.

Marvin cannot be awakened by sound. He is not deaf but when he is asleep you can blast a car horn into his ear and he won't budge. You have to shake him awake.

If Marvin decides to find a clothes basket or other out of the way hiding place there is no way to find him until he decides to wake up 22 hours later.

Marvin turned 8 years old today so I thought it would be a good time to write about him

Use enough gun! har har har

This is pretty cool.

I have no idea how you would shoot a gun that size but I'm impressed all the same.

http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/worlds-smallest-functional-revolver

Outlaw...bikers..have legal permits..but cops are nervous.

So the cops are worried about gangs of old men on motorcycles with concealed handgun permits.

Do you know what it takes to get a permit? FBI checks , backround checks no felonies ever no misdemenors for 5 years no domestic violence, hours of training and a hefty fee.

These bikers are more law abiding than the average person, they have kept their noses clean , the newspapers feel compelled however to imply that although they are legal they do not approve.

Screw them.

Diving into the Blogosphere...

I took my first real trip into the blogosphere this morning.

Usually I just stick my toe in, but today I dove in head first.

What a wild ride! I was bombed by Israel, put in a concentration camp by BushMcHitlerchimp, blown up by Brit terrorists with hair gel, watched pookie get euthanized and saw fifty million babies being fed.

Oh yeah! Now I'm a vegan astrologer, gymnast, holistic aroma-therapast.

Lord my fucking head hurts.

What is with these artsy ass pages with gothic roses and absoultely nothing to read or click on except for some miniscule little link that you have to discover with a goddamn microscope?

When you click on the microlink a chat log opens up that goes something like this:

mmm omg lol kkthks bye
xoxoxoxo

Ur stoopid bish lol

haha shutup hore

ZOMG

--------------------------------------------------------------

You get the idea. I wouldn't normally mention an idiotic blog like the one above but I found about 50 of them that were almost exactly the same.

Maybe its terrorist code disguised by goofy girl leet speek.

Did I mention my head hurt?

Tons of Spanish pages.....mostly superfluous stuff....that's what blogging is all about right?

Did I mention that people feed babies and make a blog about it?

Monday 8-14

Here is little skyler drinking his bottle at 5 weeks 3days old awwwww

Tuesday 8-15

Here is little skyler drinking his bottle at 5 weeks 4 days old awwwww

I did run into normal people talking about life, friendships, moving, school, work etc.. but that was about one out of seven.

Lots of freaky moonbat pages. Israel has no right to exist...Bush is hitler....illegal immigrant's rights....Holy lord on a popsicle stick! Grow up people. Use your brain and stop repeating all the (to quote Mr T) Jibba Jabba that you hear from all the other communist loonies with a myspace acount.

Think for yourself! Write about it..get a rational discussion going.

All of these left wing moonbeam la la blogs are totally 100% mutual masturbation. They do not allow comments from an opposing point of view. They don't even allow questions about their point of view.

Liberal tolerance and open mindedness..... HORSESHIT!

If you are going to call someone names.. back it up with some evidence. Get off the fucking playground and start using logic and rationality to get your opinions heard.

Some blogger calling Bush a Mchitlerchimp does nothing to convince anyone of anything..except that they are a raving liberal shitstain with no real arguments.

Thoughts on aging.

As I get older, personal change isn't really that noticeable. It's not like you wake up one morning look in the mirror and exlaim: "Fuck I'm old !" But when you start thinking about how great things were 20 years ago and all the stupid crap you got away with and lived through up to this point, it really starts to hit home.

Most of the crazy stuff has stopped. wild women, fast driving, heavy drinking.

It's good to play it safe nowadays because I'm no longer indestructible.

I started working young. After killing myself for several years. I got cynical about the business world and went from idological :

AGE 17
Stockboy to CEO through hard work and determination!

AGE 35

Nobody gives a bleeding rats ass how hard you work cause they are going to hire their, bi-polar alcoholic brother in law to be your boss no matter how qualified and dedicated you are.

Thats part of getting old. Knowing for a fact that shit sucks, people are raging hemmoroidal assholes and the only way to realistically pull yourself out is to work for yourself.

Each day I find myself sounding more and more like Archie Bunker. I'ts amazing how they could channel such wisdom through a foil of a TV character.

I think I started off young dumb and liberal..I thought laws made things better and bad people could be rehabilitated. Hoo whee! What a load of bullshit. As I grew up I found that people don't change unless you point a gun to their head, they get cancer or some other cataclysmic experience in their life. Now I'm a hard core Libertarian anarchistic, conservative.


These days I see kids riding their skateboards down the street with their pants falling down and find myself wanting to smack them for being punk ass.

Hell! the frigging oldies station is playing Heavy Metal..WTF is up with that?

Oh well screw it! I still have my Shiner Bock and Spongebob to make it all better.

You know what really pisses me off?

Its hard to go through life with a happy go lucky attitude, song in your heart and spring in your step without some jackhole pissing all over the parade.

Not a day goes by without some fool doing something retarded, annoying or just plain ignorant with the end result of screwing up my normally sunny disposition.

There are other things that just irk me like a fly that buzzes around at a picnic.

The soccer mom on the cell phone tailigating me on the freeway at 80mph in rush hour traffic. Real smart . Watch me slam on my brakes and count my settlement money.

Two people meet in the grocery store and start talking..both of their baskets blocking the stuff I need to get to. Erm uh excuse me...sorry to interrupt your jaw jacking but I have food to buy and a home to go to. Would.you mind taking your conversation to the adult diaper and tampon isle?

People who say things like "axe" Can I axe you a question? I'm sure these people can say ass and I'm sure they can say "cuh" what is so frigging hard about putting the two together so they don't sound like some ghetto gangbanger instead of the reasonably educated person they are.

Which reminds me of people from Boston.. a tuba is not a TOOBER and Cuba is not COOBER. Are you listening Ted Kennedy? Did they ever find your car with the SCOOBER divers?

TV shows piss me off too. We have some fashion model police detective, forensics, coroner, profiler chick who can tell that the smashed bullet from the corpse came from a glock 40 revolver with an assault style magazine purchased from the Clan in Georgia and was fired by a white supremicist with a club foot. Yeahhh.

And these police shows have plain clothes officers shoulder rolling across the pavement Jim Kirk style firing their dual pistols at fleeing terrorists with bullets richoceting off of carboard boxes.

Why does every car hit with a bullet blow up? How can some desk jockey fire his .38 snubnose revolver at a helicopter and make it convienently fly behind a hill to explode?

At least Bo and Luke Duke used a bow with dynamite arrows..sheesh

Cartoons with laugh tracks......holy jesus with a jumprope..... do they expect us to believe that the cartoon was filmed in front of a live audience...or it was even funny for that matter?

What is with these infomercials? You can make a refreshing egg salad in 9 seconds...yeah if you have all your shit cut up and ready in those little bowls..what? Do they think we are that stupid?

The car that can run for 30 days without oil because of some special lubricant that defies all laws of chemistry and physics. I would like to find the CEO of that scam operation and have him try his snake oil in his fucking Ferrari..yeah thats what I thought asshole.

Yeah lots of things piss me off...people say I'm high strung, but I think maybe I expect more out of people that bullshit, lies, inconsiderate behavior and mind numbing ignorance.

Quick and easy summer movie reviews.

I'll rate them from 1 to 10 with 10 being the best

Clerks II
Went in skeptical, movie started slow, gathered momentum and culminated with a donkey show
and Jay in a pene tuck. Worth the money. 8

Pirates of the Carribean.

Lots of action, weird grotesque cursed creatures, ok story, looks like Johnny Depp is considering
how to bugger Orlando Bloom. 7

Monster House.

Spooky, disturbing, irreverant, hormonal. 6

Ant Bully.

Preachy, predictable, well animated, all star cast, looks like every other ant movie mixed with honey I shrunk the nerdy brat. 6

Garfield a tale of two kitties.

Makes wild plot leaps (talking cat not withstanding) lots of action, light humor, John Cleese as the bad guy. 5

Cars.

Well animated, sentimental, commercial, preachy, flashy, funny for a G rated film. 8

Over the Hedge:

Good cast, lots of action, animation is great, story is a little slow, human bad guys are believable and it's fun watching the animals pull one over on em. 6

Nacho Libre

Odd Odd movie, not a lot of humor other than slapstick and situational. If you like Jack Black
in tights this is for you. 5

Barnyard.

Lots of music, morals, boy cows with udders, coming of age and party animals.
Entertaining but not laugh out loud funny. 7