You know what really pisses me off?

Its hard to go through life with a happy go lucky attitude, song in your heart and spring in your step without some jackhole pissing all over the parade.

Not a day goes by without some fool doing something retarded, annoying or just plain ignorant with the end result of screwing up my normally sunny disposition.

There are other things that just irk me like a fly that buzzes around at a picnic.

The soccer mom on the cell phone tailigating me on the freeway at 80mph in rush hour traffic. Real smart . Watch me slam on my brakes and count my settlement money.

Two people meet in the grocery store and start talking..both of their baskets blocking the stuff I need to get to. Erm uh excuse me...sorry to interrupt your jaw jacking but I have food to buy and a home to go to. Would.you mind taking your conversation to the adult diaper and tampon isle?

People who say things like "axe" Can I axe you a question? I'm sure these people can say ass and I'm sure they can say "cuh" what is so frigging hard about putting the two together so they don't sound like some ghetto gangbanger instead of the reasonably educated person they are.

Which reminds me of people from Boston.. a tuba is not a TOOBER and Cuba is not COOBER. Are you listening Ted Kennedy? Did they ever find your car with the SCOOBER divers?

TV shows piss me off too. We have some fashion model police detective, forensics, coroner, profiler chick who can tell that the smashed bullet from the corpse came from a glock 40 revolver with an assault style magazine purchased from the Clan in Georgia and was fired by a white supremicist with a club foot. Yeahhh.

And these police shows have plain clothes officers shoulder rolling across the pavement Jim Kirk style firing their dual pistols at fleeing terrorists with bullets richoceting off of carboard boxes.

Why does every car hit with a bullet blow up? How can some desk jockey fire his .38 snubnose revolver at a helicopter and make it convienently fly behind a hill to explode?

At least Bo and Luke Duke used a bow with dynamite arrows..sheesh

Cartoons with laugh tracks......holy jesus with a jumprope..... do they expect us to believe that the cartoon was filmed in front of a live audience...or it was even funny for that matter?

What is with these infomercials? You can make a refreshing egg salad in 9 seconds...yeah if you have all your shit cut up and ready in those little bowls..what? Do they think we are that stupid?

The car that can run for 30 days without oil because of some special lubricant that defies all laws of chemistry and physics. I would like to find the CEO of that scam operation and have him try his snake oil in his fucking Ferrari..yeah thats what I thought asshole.

Yeah lots of things piss me off...people say I'm high strung, but I think maybe I expect more out of people that bullshit, lies, inconsiderate behavior and mind numbing ignorance.