Relationships and pitfalls. Don't get in a rut.

It’s nice having friends, someone to hang out with, someone to help with a project, someone who can give or take advice. There are however, some pitfalls though that can mess up a good friendship.

Lending or borrowing money can be a potential hazard. Not getting paid back can cause hurt feelings and resentment. Not being able to pay someone back can be embarrassing and make you not want to be around the friend that lent the money.
My advice is to be very careful with lending money find a alternative if at all possible.

For example: I bought a gun collection from a friend for fair market value with the promise that he could buy it back if he wanted it.

I have no hard feelings and I’m still enjoying the collection.

Energy sucking is another pitfall that sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Many people go years and years with an energy sucker friend and don’t ever realize why they feel crappy after hanging out with them.

Don’t know what an energy sucker is?

Friend comes over for coffee:

Friend: Oh I’ve had this sinus headache for 3 weeks I’m freaking miserable.

You: Have you seen a doctor?

Friend: Oh they can’t do anything anyway I’ll just suffer through it.

Friend: My job sucks I’m so miserable my life is going no where.

You: Doesn’t your employer have tuition reimbursement you can go back to school and get a better job.

Friend: Oh I wouldn’t know the first thing about that I’m too tired and don’t think I can handle it.

You: Maybe you should seek help for depression.

Friend: Oh no I don’t want to go on that medicine and I don’t have time

Next thing you know your friend has dumped his load of depression worry and crap on you with no desire to take steps to fix their own problems or take advice from you.

This goes on time after time until you are emotionally drained from giving so much sympathy and advice.

You have to be firm and direct with these people:
Tell them you are sorry they are miserable and hope they get their lives back together and you are still their friend but you cannot listen to any more negative feelings.
You will be surprised how people will change their tune when confronted with straight forward honesty.

If they get offended and leave you will still be better off.
Surrounding yourself with positive people with good things to say has emotional benefits and can stave off depression.