More things that piss me off
The guy who flicks his cigarette out of his car window and sends a shower of embers into the dry grass on the side of the road.
Look idiot.. I know your 1977 Pacer has a freaking ashtray. Use it! Haven't you noticed that it hasn't rained in 4 months? Moron!
The person who flings a huge pile of fast food trash out the window of their brand new Mercedes Coupe while sitting at a traffic light.
I hope you get caught. I pray the cop is really pissed off that day and finds an excuse to tazer your worthless ass. Then I hope the judge puts you on a Texas road cleanup crew in July or August.
I show the lady at the customer service counter at the grocery store the lunchables I just purchased that smell like buzzard vomit. She yawns and drearily asks if I want my money back. I tell her to forget the money and get the rotten food off the fucking shelf before some unsupecting 3 year old dies from food poisoning.
Look idiot.. I know your 1977 Pacer has a freaking ashtray. Use it! Haven't you noticed that it hasn't rained in 4 months? Moron!
The person who flings a huge pile of fast food trash out the window of their brand new Mercedes Coupe while sitting at a traffic light.
I hope you get caught. I pray the cop is really pissed off that day and finds an excuse to tazer your worthless ass. Then I hope the judge puts you on a Texas road cleanup crew in July or August.
I show the lady at the customer service counter at the grocery store the lunchables I just purchased that smell like buzzard vomit. She yawns and drearily asks if I want my money back. I tell her to forget the money and get the rotten food off the fucking shelf before some unsupecting 3 year old dies from food poisoning.
The lady rolls her eyes at me and does nothing. Which makes me find the manager who seems to care just barely more.
I hope these people choke on their germ infested filth or get personally sued for failing to prevent someone from getting sick.
The Chinese Buffet: We walk in and order just as the buffet opens. First thing I notice is all the food is cold. They forgot to turn the buffet warmers on. It takes me about 10 min of arguing with the manager to convince him that their food is cold. Since I'm there for a birthday lunch I stick it out.
The next thing I know I bite into a rangoon and there are legs sticking out of it.
I call the waitress over and she exclaims: "that no bug! that crispy onion!"
I hope these people choke on their germ infested filth or get personally sued for failing to prevent someone from getting sick.
The Chinese Buffet: We walk in and order just as the buffet opens. First thing I notice is all the food is cold. They forgot to turn the buffet warmers on. It takes me about 10 min of arguing with the manager to convince him that their food is cold. Since I'm there for a birthday lunch I stick it out.
The next thing I know I bite into a rangoon and there are legs sticking out of it.
I call the waitress over and she exclaims: "that no bug! that crispy onion!"
I politely counter with "onions are not black with legs" She takes the offending food to the kitchen and comes back with: "ok you no pay..everybody else pay". Never an I'm sorry or anything like that. Mysteriously I lost my appetite at that point.
Plus selling. I know it's your job buddy, but when I say no that doesn't mean keep asking, and don't be retarded about it.
One time I went to pick up some dog food at the convenience store. I put the bag of purina on the counter and the clerk asks "would you like a fountain drink to go with that? I looked him squarely in the eye and said "No thanks. I'm going to eat it later"
I'm at the movie theater, I've spent about 25 bucks on tickets, 15 bucks for a popcorn and cokes.The movie starts and projector is aimed at the wall and there is no sound.
I look around at the 300 or so people around me. Nobody moves or makes a sound and lets the film play on. I finally get up, drag the kids with me and go find a manager. By the time I get back in the film is still without sound and no one has moved from their spot I'm thinking by this point that the world is doomed if people are really this apathetic, cowardly or lazy.
Some people say I encounter an inordinate amount of stupid assholes in my travels.
I'm just lucky I guess.
Plus selling. I know it's your job buddy, but when I say no that doesn't mean keep asking, and don't be retarded about it.
One time I went to pick up some dog food at the convenience store. I put the bag of purina on the counter and the clerk asks "would you like a fountain drink to go with that? I looked him squarely in the eye and said "No thanks. I'm going to eat it later"
I'm at the movie theater, I've spent about 25 bucks on tickets, 15 bucks for a popcorn and cokes.The movie starts and projector is aimed at the wall and there is no sound.
I look around at the 300 or so people around me. Nobody moves or makes a sound and lets the film play on. I finally get up, drag the kids with me and go find a manager. By the time I get back in the film is still without sound and no one has moved from their spot I'm thinking by this point that the world is doomed if people are really this apathetic, cowardly or lazy.
Some people say I encounter an inordinate amount of stupid assholes in my travels.
I'm just lucky I guess.
Labels: Rants
posted by Bill Rowland @ May 23, 2007
44 Comments
44 Comments:
Where I used to work, they once catered us a special Christmas dinner from Bun & Barrel. It was absolutely disgusting.
It was supposed to be barbecued chicken. I think their idea of barbecuing is to slather some warm sauce on it. Other than that, it was pretty much raw.
Mine also still had a few feathers sticking to it. No kidding. It actually had feathers in it.
I will never eat at a Bun & Barrel.
I guess I must be lucky also. I hear you 5 X 5.
BobG
I don't feel like such a beast anymore. I am the only one that says shit when shit is wrong in my group - I alwasy end up looking like the ass, but everyone else is miserable why don't they say anything. I also hate when people open their car doors at a stop sign/light and spit...so disgusting!
Yikes. I have encountered people like this before also. It makes you wonder where they grew up or how they grew up for that matter. Lazy people. There are lots of people out there like that.
"I hope these people choke on their germ infested filth or get personally sued for failing to prevent someone from getting sick."
Just curious... Would you go so far as to maybe write a letter to the chain, in order to DOCUMENT the event so that those folks COULD be sued?
When I get pissed like that, those are often the lengths I'm willing to go to in order to DO SOMETHING about it (but, you know, people tell me I take things too far or that I'm just too angry).
In other words, I get what you're trying to say here.
Relly, damn, have you got a big dark cloud following you around or what. My pet peeve is finding old diapers on the ground in the parking lot of whatever huge store I'm going into. That shit's nasty, literally. I've never knowingly had critters in my chinks, but I believe it. You know those things are chock full o' protein. And you're right about the apathetic public. I have experienced that, but usually one or two people start yelling and the people fix it. Remember, I live in an Army town, and most if not all of these folks have been shot at recently, so they've learned to be assertive.
Hammer
Welcome to South Carolina- where the average IQ is 6, people eat the strange meat product you returned and THRIVE on it- Cigarette grass fires are Encouraged by the Dept of Forestry--- Oh... I miss Florida
Ham- u r 1 lucky Dude. That bug onion leg thing costs us extra at our buffet- (We strangely have NO CATS in a 12 mile radius of the restaurant) old joke but TRUE here! The Roach Crouton here is called a Fortune Cookie!
u fotunate you get regs--not everyone get regs- bery bery rucky!
CRICK- I take picture of you- Birthday Boy!
J
hey, that rant about the rotted lunchables is so true.
people just do not get it.
I rented a movie the other day and i gotta tell you, it's right up your ally. It is not that like kick your ass insanely good, but it is a knee slapper in the funny department.
It is worth your time, like, rent it tonight.
It is called Idiocracy
no nudity, but there is some swearing.
Hammer, it is soo funny, because it addresses this post exactly. You would love it, I did.
Brain candy.
Amen Hammer...When people do stupid things I have no problem pointing it out to them Cheers!!
alan: I saw on the news recently that another BBQ joint got caught with feathers..
Bobg: glad to see I'm not alone.
Jenny: speaking up saves on heart attacks and strokes later. When people open the car door and spit a gallon of their copenhagen yeah thats gross.
Tweety: lazy people.. not sure where they come from but I wish they would quit it.
Fredie: good point: I've started writing letters and escalating, sometimes I just get free coupons and an apology but the message gets sent.
FHB: I saw a diaper yesterday It was from a minivan parked next to me. I wedged it under their tire.
Good point on military folks speaking up. That's one good thing that's going to come out of this war. hundreds of thousands of leaders who don't take shit.
John: lol man that is funny shit, roach fortune cookies..blecccch I get an inordiante amount of bugs when I eat chinese, I must be rucky.
infini: I'll check out idiocracy, thanks for the heads up. I always need movies that are my speed.
matt-man: Glad to hear I'm not alone :)
I spend my days surrounded by and staring at people who have no idea what they've done or said was totally idiotic. In the workplace, tact keeps me from saying something, but in public? You'd best be prepared to hear from me, whether I choose the passive-aggressive "talk about you as I walk by/behind you" method, or the "hey, you're an idiot, and I'm about to tell you why" method. A lot of people are afraid to counter you when you're that up-front, especially if you're not apologetic about it.
People who pay $9 for a movie ticket and then proceed to talk on their cell phones throughout the whole thing really bother me, too. I had to restrain myself from hitting someone sitting in front of me during "What Women Want" because she wouldn't stop saying things like, "Uh-huh, I know that's right!" and "Oh, you tell him, girlfriend!"
Amen on all of these. You covered pretty much everything.
The one that I don't understand, though it doen't make me angry, is the people who crack their car window about three inches, and drive with their hand up there with the cigarette out the window. If the thing smells that bad, don't smoke at all.
Chinese buffets around here seem to think the 11 am opening time means that's when they show up for work to start cooking. I've yet to walk into a chinese joint at 11:15 and had anything ready except...i cream...there i cream for wait ten minute.
In the last four months, I have been witness to a number of individuals throwing up out of their vehicles. I have no idea why I am seeing this now more than ever before. But I have the unfortunate timing of being in an intersection with another vehicle right when the passenger, (or in yesterday's case...the driver) throw open the door and begin spewing chunks on the pavement below.
Can't even count how many I've seen. It's gross.
And the HEB had samonella Peter Pan Peanut Butter on the shelf, a full week after the big samonella scare. I told a guy stocking bread and he seemed to care about as much as your customer service associate.
Seriously, customer service is dead.
Hammer dawling, DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!
I know people can really fuck up life but just know that they are stupid and it will eventually catch up with them. That is the only way I get through my days.
I used to be pissed, now I'm just indifferent and I hit them stupid people with in-your-face sarcasm.
Like last night. I went shopping at the grocery store and I went to the check out. while I was waiting, I noticed some reusable grocery bags. so I grabbed a couple (trying to do my part for the environment) and put them in front of my groceries on the counter. The checker actually asked me if I want to use the bags for my groceries. I said, "no, give me plastic"....pause..."of course I want to use the reusable bags".
Actually, your stories are better. Stay pissed!
I have never smelled buzzard vomit.
mmmm cockroach... that is so nasty
My favorite local restaurant USED to be Hunan Garden, with the fantastic buffet. I think you've cured me of my addiction.
Nope, it's not just you. People are growing more oblivious by the minute!
I once stood by a car, containing a baby and 2 toddlers, until the "mother" returned. I let her know what I thought of her leaving 3 defenseless babies in a hot car in a big-city parking lot.
Hammer, we all encounter the ***holes in our travels, but only all of us who care about anyone other than ourselves have the courage to speak up...whether out of concern for someone else's welfare or because they're ***holes and need to be told.
You and your family are good folks.
Thank you, as always.
Veritas et Fidelis Semper
First -Hammer, if it's your birthday (or was at any time this week) I'd like to say happy birthday. Second, I agree about the movie theatre, that happened to me once. I , too, went to find someone. They treated me like I was the nuisance, and never apologized either.
That's why I prefer my blog friends. In real life, people irritate me.
Hammer.. there is some weird stuff going on ... read my blog... you won't believe it.
BTW it involves you.
Sounds like there's a lot of people who just don't give a shit there. I don't think folks here are quite so apathetic. Scary.
WORD UP!! on the wedged diaper Hammer! I wish I could have seen their puzzled faces before they figured out what the problem was!
Idiocracy is not the most intellectual of movies, but on some levels, it kinda is, it is pretty entertaining. Better than: "Dude, Where's My Car?"
The cigarettes, the trash out of the car, the bad food at the market and the chinesefood all seem to be universal tick-offs ! How come it's easier for people to be lazy than it is for them to be respectful and do the right thing ???
I couldn't agree more, you can't believe how stupid some of the complaints that Metro receives.
Bonnie: I'm speaking up to what the hell I can't go through life letting my blood pressure go unvented. They finally started cracking down on cell phones here...finally
jam: they are getting rid of the unfiltered smoke...healither that way ;)
JP: they are good and prompt here.. they will open the doors and feed you whatever they scraped off the road that morning ;)
marianne: HEB is my store too they are assholes. I'm guilty of puking out of the car, road trip food poisoning. lots of people looking at me as I lay road pizza. Too sick to be embarassed :P
carrie: so true I just care too much..
paul: sarcasm is lost on the stupid. I spent all these years honing it and now it's like casting pearls to swine.
deborah: speaking up is the only thing that keep sme sane and stocked with free gift cards :)
vancouver: Wasn't my birthday but thanks, yeah movies are staffed by the lowest common denominator it seems.
snowmanpoop: thanks for the heads up.
jeannie: I think I live in one of the stupidest large cities in this hemisphere, Houston is a close second.
infini: next diaper is getting cracked open and smeared on the windshield.
annie: I think 50 years ago if someone pulled one of those stunts they would be pulled out of their car and best senseless.
brandon: I bet they get their fill for sure
Hammer,
Nice Rant, couldn't have put it better myself!
Rock on!
Flyinfox_SATX
before you get to smearing, just make sure you actually witness the diaper drop OK?
that kind of retribution is only good for the person who made the deposit!
I will sleep better tonight knowing that you are on diaper patrol!!!
I think we may encounter the same assholes. Cuz it is really sad to think that there are that many out there.
I would tell you some little story, or be witty, but it's midnight and I'm going to bed.
Great little rant!
This is more of a peeve, but I hate it when people don't use their blinkers and I can't stand to see anyone keep their dogs chained up.
It seems like life has phases when we encounter more assholes &/or more hassles than at other times...so hopefully you won't continue to get bombarded.
I LOVED the line about the dog food. Too, too funny. The world is literally TEEMING with idiots, hammer, you must be constantly vigilant. I think I'll do a post about this, too. You know that "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery", right? So, can I jack the "pissed off" pic, too?
flyinfox: thanks :)
infini: if it's next to a minvan containing a babyseat..its on!
burfica: They must be breeding like crazy
skinny: The blinker thing makes me see red thats for sure.
melodyann: be my guest.. will love to read it. :)
how's your blood pressure, hammer?
Strange, things like that don't happen to me, or maybe it is just I am so dumb and naïve that I don't realise the reality around me. I should be more careful.
nanc: better now ;)
kitem: The more crowded a place gets the more rude stupid people make themselves obvious. I notice that there are higher standards for behavior in small towns.
MY MAN HAMMER DOES IT AGAIN!
Daps on this post, Buddy! I hear ya.
Unfortunately ...you can't fix STUPID.
This relates to my posts concerning dumbasses to be EAR-TAGGED with bright ORANGE tags (like cattle) so that the rest of the logical world knows what they are up against when we encounter God's Special Ed Team.
Bravo and kudos, man! *applause*
Cigarette Butts out the friggen window can instantly make want to lay on my horn, It's what gives me road rage! ...Drivers on Cell phones in heavy traffic are a close second. Idiots!
Newbie - I have no idea what a rangoon might be........but I probably don't really want to know.
Cheers
I have had similar situations that match all of yours. The thing is that it took my whole life up to this point to have them. I hope next week is better for you. ;)
Jodi: the ear tags are an excellent Idea. Can I be in charge of them?
sweeti: People are clueless. I don't know how much longer the human race can go on like this.
mcewen: it's a fried wonton wrapper filled with cream cheese green onions and sometimes shredded crab (or roadkill)
Jeff: hehe, I'm tempted to not leave the house if this is the way things are going to be :)
Let's try this again, with correct spelling. (Man I just pissed myself off.) ;)
Yea, how come those of us who speak up against the stupidity are so often looked at as the asshole? It's as though even though they know you're right, they can't believe you pointed out what's pissing everyone off. WTF?
I've become almost a recluse because somebody manages to piss me off every time I go out. Of course staying in just means I'll see some idiot on the TV that pisses me off.
Maybe it's me.
This is why I like you so much-we think alike on these things!
I'd have called the health department on that restaurant and maybe on the grocery store too.
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