What men do.

There are three reasons a man will make a bed:
1. He is trying to get laid
2. He is in the military.
3. He is 35 and mom told him no more Warcraft until he does it.

Men will always try to throw something at the trash can because if they make it then they don't have to get up. If they miss, the next person can get it.

Farts are the poor man's WMD. We all have a little terrorist inside.

Men are like dogs, they have to smell things to understand them. Don't get in the way.

If you are the last female in the bar at 2:00am you are guaranteed a date..so leave at 1:45 if you know what's good for you.

Men don't cry. Our eyes water at inappropriate times.

Men are never too sick to go to work but are always too sick to do housework.

Men often refer to their belly as "table muscle" "Beer investment dividend" or "tool shed"

Men's eyes are involuntarily drawn to boobs regardless of what the boobs are attached to. It's a vestigial caveman thing. Either don't get angry or buy him glasses with boobs painted on the lenses.

Men don't like watching movies unless they have guns and explosions or dick and fart jokes or all of the above...are you listening Hollywood?

Wives and girlfriends...here is some advice: If your man is in the bathroom and says: "holy shit! Come look at this!" ...Don't! .....As a side note, don't let them take the digital camera into the bathroom either.

Men's and women's noses differ greatly. To a woman, baby poop is cute. To a man it's !awwwagrabbable! followed by dry heaves. If you want your husband to change a diaper, buy a gas mask or make a cologne soaked bandana he can tie around his face.