What is a moonbat?

I've referred to moonbats several times and almost every time I do, someone asks me "Hammer what in the hell is a moonbat?"

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I'm not sure there is a standard definition in Webster so I'll just lay it down for you the way I see it.

What is a Moonbat?

A moonbat is a staunch proponent of free speech as long as they approve of the message.

A moonbat says that a hate crime cannot occur against a straight white Christian male

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A moonbat does not see any discord when they claim to be pro abortion but against capital punishment

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A moonbat thinks you should be forced to give up whatever they decide is better for the common good.

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A moonbat thinks your rights stop where their crusade begins.

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A moonbat thinks that the unwashed masses should be disarmed while they themselves live in gated communities and have armed body guards.

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A moonbat says nothing about the thousands of US soldiers that died during Bill Clinton's UN campaigns but calls Bush a murderer

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A moonbat thinks it's imperative to give up your constitution and national sovereignty to a international organization that appoints countries like Saudi Arabia and Rwanda to the commission on human rights.

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A moonbat thinks it's imperative for our public schools to politically indoctrinate our children into "proper" thinking about the environment, sex and social issues even though parents may have differing moral and religious convictions.

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These are but a few examples, but basically, it's someone who pushes their unfounded, unscientific and unreasonable beliefs on others by deception, bullying or legislation.

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Yes there are extreme right wingers who do the same and they are called "wingnuts" or Jack Booted thugs but we can talk about those later.

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If you are offended by this post you might just be a moonbat. ;D

Blog interview

Since Crystal Chick got the title of my book meme mostly right, I'm going do her interview.

Here goes:

1. Who got you into blogging and does your family read the posts?

I got interested in blogging from reading the Lawdog files. His witty and entertaining posts sparked some old memories of things I wanted to write about. No, my family doesn't read my posts I would be too self conscious if they did.

2. How many on your blogroll do you know in person?

I know about 10 folks that I met in Kerrville last year. It was tough to give up some of my anonymity but after meeting them I realize it was worth it.

3. Who on your blogroll would you like to meet in person?

Pretty much everyone so far, especially the ones that have been reading and commenting since the very beginning. (You know who you are) ;)

4. If you could meet one person from history, alive or dead, and ask them a question who would you meet, what would you ask?

I'd dig up Harry Truman and ask if they really did find dead aliens in Roswell in 1947

5. You have to leave your home suddenly and can never come back. Of course your family and pets can go too but you are only allowed to take 3 personal possessions. What are they?

My Ruger .22 pistol, my petty cash and my Humidor

6. You also must leave your state, what other state would you move to?

Arizona. It has similar values as what I'm used to.

7. What do you think about the Yearning for Zion Ranch situation?

Leave those poor people alone. The call for help was a hoax by a known criminal. The people seem happy with the way they live their lives. It is cruel to separate the children from their families when there is no evidence of abuse. Up until 60 years ago people getting married at 13 was not uncommon. In fact many of my wife's middle school classmates in the 1970's were married in out of social custom and economic necessity.

8. If you could live in any other time period than right now, when would that be?

The 1960's I don't quite remember the 46 days I spent there.

9. Years from now, one of your kids tells you they are in love with someone of their same sex and wants to marry. Are you cool with that?

I've dealt with this issue before. Even though I wouldn't be happy, I would still accept them because I believe people are born gay and then must make a choice to live the lifestyle or not.

10. If money were no object and you could take your family on a trip of a lifetime where would you go?

Ireland... many of my ancestors came from there and I wouldn't mind having a proper pint.

11. What is your favorite television show or movie?

TV show would be Antiques roadshow the movie would be The Big Lebowski

12. Who plays you in the movie version of your life?

That's a tough one. Could I be animated instead?

13. What is something you would change about yourself if you could?

I would like to be healthier and not get ill so often.

14. Do you give compliments often?

Yes. Especially when the person doesn't get proper recognition.

15. Describe yourself in 3 words.

Secretive, dedicated, unconventional

16. Do you believe in reincarnation?

Pretty much. I was raised with a Hindu belief system from an early age.

17. Do you agree with any conspiracy theories?

Yes. JFK being killed by the mafia

18. Does money buy happiness?

No, but if you are wise it can help take the pressure off and make one happier.

19. If given the choice, what age will you be and how will you die?

In my 80's and in my sleep

20. What decisions are hardest for you to make?

The best way to talk to my kids about tough issues without ruining their sunny outlook on life.

21. What is the riskiest thing you have ever done?

Drive 120 miles an hour in a junky old car with bad tires and a fuel leak.

22. You have to leave the USA permanently, what country do you move to?

Australia

23. Write your own Epitaph.

He never gave up, no matter how shitty things got.

123 meme updated

All the cool kids are doing it

Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
Open the book to page 123.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the next three sentences.

You know English better than the others, you speak it almost as well as I do.
"I speak it better than you do, Gramp; I speak it grammatically, which you do not."
"Don't praggle me, boy; I'll quang you proper.
Shakespere and I never let grammar interfere with expressing ourselves.

The first person to identify the book gets to choose my next blog topic if they wish.

Crystalchick got it. So go ahead and pick your topic :)

A rant I've been saving.

What is it with people that ask you for advice and then get mad when they don't like what they hear? Even stupid things...

"Hey hammer do you think my car will pass inspection?" "What do you mean I need new tires?...goddamnit! you think I'm made out of fuckin money?" "Hammer..you are an asshole!"

It's easy for me to tell what candidate someone supports and I'm cool with people who have completely opposite views than myself. However, when they ask me who I'm supporting and don't get the answer that they want to hear. Kaboom! full blown tantrum and histrionics about "we need change" and "military industrial complex" and "Republicans hate poor people". There are two more long time friends that no longer speak to me because I refuse to support Obama. Oh well.

People try to talk to me about racism and how I don't know shit because I've never experienced bigotry...

I have experienced bigotry first hand and you know what? I got over it. I don't spend my whole life whining about how someone takes one look at my last name and refuses to show me a house in a decent neighborhood or take me seriously when I call about a loan or apply for a job. Actually, I hold no ill will towards these people.

There is a reason people hold racial and cultural stereotypes and the only way to overcome them is by being a good citizen, neighbor or parent and by setting an example for others. Marching around crying about how everything is unfair and racist is not going to change someone's perception of you..it will just reinforce it.

Check this out:
OSCEOLA COUNTY, Fla. — A Florida school board member is drawing fire from some parents for saying they should spend money on school clothes for their children instead of buying alcohol and cigarettes. School board member Jay Wheeler's
comments were made in an e-mail response to parents’ complaints that they cannot
afford the new uniforms mandated by the Osceola County School District,
"Everyone can afford Wal-Mart and if they can’t, they need to think about
turning off their cable TV or stop buying alcohol or cigarettes and spend their
money on their children."

You know what? Give that man a cigar. I guarantee you that all these people bitching about buying school uniforms are sitting in front of a nice TV with video games, DVD's and HBO. Children come first. How hard is that to understand?

Word Verification woes.

Is it just me or did blogger change it's word verification to something utterly unreadable? Just when I think I've deciphered the gobblety goop....nope try again. It looks like they are mixing fonts, letter thickness and then just to make sure, they swirl up the word so that you would have to be a cryptographer to get it right.

Fellow bloggers, don't be surprised if your regular commenters try to comment four times then throw something through their computer screen.

Here is an example:

God has a peculiar sense of humor with me as the punchline.

Today I got to thinking about the odd and disturbing things that happen to me quite often which may seem ironic, strange, coincidental or unintentially funny.

Here are a couple that I remember off the top of my head.

Once, when I was doing on-site computer work, A former co-worker hired me to come to her house and fix some corrupted files on her daughters computer. The PC was on a wicker stand next to small wicker dresser. I set a CD on top of the dresser next to where I was working and all of the sudden the drawer flies out of the dresser and thong panties and bras go everywhere.

I about shit my pants. In a panic, I gathered up all the underwear and went to shove it back into the drawer. The mother walked in just as I had two fist fulls of her daughters unmentionables.

I turned red, started to sweat and quickly tried to explain what happened. The mom just smiled and winked at me then walked out of the room.
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Several years ago I was invited to go to a birthday party for a friend of a friend. The party was at a bar and the person who set up the party had a great plan for the birthday boy. She had bought about 50 pair of miscellaneous panties and after we sang happy birthday we were supposed to throw them at the guest of honor. We stuffed the panties in our pockets. When the time came we shot them like rubber bands at the guy. I had put red cake icing in the crotch of several pair just for added effect. A great time was had by all.

When I was doing laundry a week later, a pair of tiny lace thong panties flew out of the dryer just as my wife and I were about to fold clothes. I picked them up and before she could say anything, I told her about the birthday prank as casually as I could and that I had probably overlooked those. Surprisingly, she didn't give me even an iota of shit over the incident. I didn't let on that my heart had stopped beating for about 3 minutes.
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Back when I was building and selling refurbished PCs I had a friend of mine helping me out with revamping and upgrading old units so I could sell them.

Bryan told me he had one PC ready and since I was on my way to do an install I picked them up on the way to an out of town job. The customer was the owner of the Shop where my father in law worked as a barber. Since the PC was supposedly ready to go, my job consisted of plugging it in turning it on collecting my check and going home.

When I booted up the computer the first thing that popped up on the screen was the background picture of three huge hairy guys standing up against a wall wearing nothing but women's thong underwear. The whole family, grandparents on down to the children were standing there watching this ugly scene go down. With lightning speed I changed the picture to plain blue. Luckily the customer didn't say anything .

I went to test the Internet connection and when I clicked on the Internet explorer the homepage was set to "Horny Cheerleaders" Several pop ups, showing graphic pornography started flashing all over the screen. Grandma's jaw hit the ground and she put her hand over junior's eyes as he struggled to get a better look.

I hit the power button as fast as I could and said this computer must have been infected with a virus. Luckily I had a spare computer in the car that I had set up myself that was devoid of male strippers and porn.

I apologized profusely, and went on my way. I called Bryan on the cell phone and started yelling,"Where the fuck did you get that computer??!!!" "Hmm oh yeah that was the one we used for jacking in our college dorm room." I then asked who were those damn naked fags wearing the thongs on your background picture? "Oh yeah that was when me and my buddies we got drunk and stole some underwear and posed in it for fun."

I asked if it ever occurred to him to take that shit off before he gave me the computer to sell. He responded with: 'Well at least I upgraded the RAM, changed the power supply and removed the gay porn my room mate put on there..."

7 weird things meme

Fire fox over at the lollipop tree tagged me for the 7 weird things meme. Some other nice folks also tagged me while I was on my blogging sabbatical as well.



I keep getting weirder every year so it's not hard to keep coming up with these things.


1. Up until my early 20's I had a strong desire to have a career in the military, police or federal law enforcement. Health issues and family pressures ended up sending me in other directions.


2. Being a father has made me disgusted with 95% of current popular media and supposed culture.


3. I didn't watch television from 1987 through 1992. I didn't even own a working TV.


4. I firmly believe that items that are given away for free are usually unappreciated and soon fall into disrepair.


5. I used to try to help people who were on a path of self destruction. I found that these people no matter what they say, do not want help and have to ultimately make their own way.


6. I can be friendly, cordial and get along with anyone, including liberals, satan worshippers, ex-cons, bikers, new age moonbats and hardcore rednecks. People are basically decent overall, they just live by a different code.


7. Throughout my life I've learned to numb myself to personal grief. I become very rational and matter of fact during a personal or family crisis almost to the point where I have to fake being upset to keep up apperances. However, I have extreme empathy and sadness for people I read about or see on the news who have endured something horrific.



I'll tag anyone who wants to do this because I may have missed those who have already completed this meme.

Hammer's wing recipe.

Wings have become popular in the last several years. Nearly every family restaurant has them on their menu. Making them at home can be tricky and the results often unsatisfactory.

Here is a chicken wing recipe that I use at home with excellent results.

1 large oven pan or dish at least 3 inches deep.

1 or 2 large packs of fresh small chicken wings or drumettes. (depending on how many you are serving.)

1 12oz bottle of basic no frills barbecue sauce (or your favorite brand)

1 16oz bottle of store brand zesty italian salad dressing. (oil and vinegar type)

2 cups water

1 5oz bottle of your favorite hot sauce (louisiana, cholula, tabasco etc...)

Preheat the oven to 350F

Place all the raw chicken in the bottom of the oven safe baking dish evenly spaced

Pour the water in the pan.

Pour the italian dressing over the chicken evenly.

Pour 3/4 of the barbecue sauce over the chicken making sure to coat evenly

Cover the dish with a lid or aluminum foil and bake for 1 hour.

After 1 hour in the oven remove the chicken and set aside saving the contents of the pan. In a small mixing bowl ladle 1 1/2 cups of the liquid from the chicken, the rest of the bottle of barbecue sauce and 3 oz of hot sauce (optional) and whisk .

Using tongs place the chicken on a foil covered baking sheet and brush the sauce evenly over the wings.

Place the wings back in the oven uncovered and broil on high for 5-6 minutes watching the wings closely to prevent burning. You can also throw them on the grill for a few minutes (even better)

Enjoy.

How to survive in a recession

With tough economic times ahead I thought I would share some of the strategies I have learned to cope with the high price of food, fuel, energy and recreation. I hope you find them useful.

National buy a gun day purchase

April 15 was buy a gun day and I forgot to post a picture of what I bought.

I went to my favorite pawnshop and looked at what they had. Mostly beat up overpriced Randall's Dectonics and AMT's from the Miami Vice days. Even if I wanted to get nostalgic, these companies went out of business long ago and I don't want to start a museum at this point.

I saw a strange looking revolver in the bottom of the glass case listed at $250.

This is pretty cheap for a quality .357 revolver. When I asked to look at it, I saw why it was so cheap. Someone had let it rust then had it refinished with one of those space age poly-cote jobs.

The bore was pristine, the action smooth, and the trigger pull was exquisite. It was just fuxated by some fool who left it in a damp tool box or trunk too long.

I shook my head and asked the manager if he would take $175

Sold!

It's a Smith and Wesson 586 .357 magnum with a 6 inch barrel made sometime in the mid 80's

I'm happy to have it. Since it's been refinished already, I won't mind taking it out and putting it through it's paces.

Salsa recipes.

As I noted earlier, I made several different types of salsa this week. At many of the restaurants here in town you can expect up to 4 different types of fresh salsa to be put on your table even before you get a glass of water. I try to keep some fresh frozen or bottled available whenever I can.

It's best to make small batches, a little goes a long way so unless you are going to do some canning I suggest not making more than a quart of at a time.'

Fire Roasted Salsa

4 tomatoes of any type sliced in half

5 large tomatillos peeled and sliced in half

1/2 medium onion sliced in half

2 whole jalepenos

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup lime juice

In a lightly oiled cast iron skillet put the vegetables cut side down on high heat for 3 minutes and then toss them around the pan so they become evenly cooked. The cut sides of the tomatoes and onions should be almost burned. When everything is carmelized and or blackened put everything into a food processor with the salt and lime juice. Blend well.

This salsa goes well with meats, tacos or just tortilla chips.

Mango salsa

2 large ripe mangos cubed into 1/2 inch pieces

1/2 cup of roughly chopped cilantro

2 fresh diced jalepenos

1/4 diced red onion

1 /4 cup lime juice

1/4 cup of chopped jicama (if available)

Toss all the ingredients in a small serving bowl and squeeze the lime juice over the top. This salsa goes great with seafood, salads and roasted chicken.

Atomic Habanero

7 whole red or orange habanero peppers (stems removed)

1 small tomato

1 clove garlic

1/4 cup white wine vinegar

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 cup lime juice

Put all the ingredients into the food processor and chop until it has a smooth consistency. Be careful with this stuff. It has a great flavor but a little goes a long way.

The habanero salsa is good for wings, grilled meats or just for proving to people how tough you are.

All these salsas will keep for a week in the fridge or even longer if frozen in small batches.

Great white hunter

It was a nice weekend so I decided to barbecue. I made fajitas, three kinds of salsa, guacamole and deviled eggs. We also tried a new recipe for spinach cheese dip with peppers.

Everything was really good. Instead of curling up for a nap after our feast, The kids and I tossed the nerf football around. My son loves football so I have to swallow my aversion to sports and do the best I can.

While we were playing, my girls noticed a squirrel jumping onto our roof and climbing through a hole it had chewed in the siding around the chimney. My wife had been complaining about rodent fucking and screeching noises on the roof or in the attic so I figured we had found their entry point.

Something had to be done, so I spent the better part of Saturday afternoon sitting in the back yard in a lawn chair with a cold beer and a Red Ryder lever action BB gun. The kids were very excited about the prospect of a squirrel killin and were dutifully scanning the trees and roof for my quarry.

Before you get any ideas, I've never purposefully killed anything by my own hand before, but when a tree rat chews through the side of my house and uses my attic as a fight and fuck club, they leave me no choice. This aggression will not stand.

I'm a pretty good shot, but I wasn't too familiar with this particular gun. I didn't dare take anything out of my real arsenal because I live in the city and sure don't need any more holes in my house.

Sure enough, about 40 minutes later my son spots one of the critters running long the limbs of our oak tree heading straight for the hole in the house. The squirrel paused for a second, just long enough for me to line up the sights and snap off a shot at his big furry squirrel rump.

All I heard was the clack of the air piston as the BB hit the critter right under the tail. "Dad! you got him!" the children exclaimed. The squirrel recovered his composure and darted for the safety of my attic. I worked the lever of the Red Ryder once more and fired without taking careful aim. The squirrel took another BB to the ribs then jumped into the hole.

Shit! Now he's going to either die in my attic and stink up the place or he will lick his wounds and live to fight and fuck another day.

I need to get a bigger BB gun.

Shut up or go home.

Several thousand ethnic Chinese protesters marched outside CNN's Hollywood, California office Saturday to demand the firing of a commentator who recently compared China's leaders to a "bunch of goons and thugs.

Why on earth would Chinese Americans care about what CNN says about the Communist Chinese government? Why don't they go back and live under that system if they love it so much?

It seems to me that if one wishes to live in the United States and become a citizen they should give up allegiances to all other countries and foreign political organizations.

These are some of the biggest problems we have in this country right now.

The left loves to loudly proclaim how ashamed they are of America, Obama's preacher says "God damn AmeriKKKa" Obama's wife says how she's never been proud to be an American in her adult life. (She attended Princeton and Harvard)

The Mexican "immigrants legal and otherwise" who flock to this country in search of a better life are frantically waving their Mexican flags while plundering our social welfare system.

The Muslims are demanding that our public and private institutions to bend to Islamic religious law. For example, Muslims who work in food stores are refusing to sell pork and many cab drivers are refusing to pick up unaccompanied women, seeing eye dogs and passengers who posses or have consumed liquor.

Muslims at our Universities are demanding that class schedules be changed to accommodate their daily prayers. Next thing you know we will all be listening to prayer call 5 times a day over public loud speakers.

I think it was better when immigrants were treated like shit and had to work their asses off to be accepted into mainstream society. You don't see riots and anti American protests by Irish, Italian, Cuban and Polish Americans. Everyone on both sides of my family were 20th century immigrants and they taught me to keep my mouth shut, work hard and be grateful that I live in a country with so many liberties and opportunities.

lolcats 15

Some thoughts on random shit.

As I get older my balls get droopier (is that a word) They should make special nut bras because it is seriously painful to have them knocking around the knees and stuff. Do they do scrotum botox? I don't see any informercials addressing this problem.

I was at the grocery store the other day and noticed that scrawny brown lemons were fifty cents each, but a big bottle of lemon juice was $1.48. what is up with that shit? So, do they think I'm stupid? As long as I get lemon flavor, I don't care where it comes from.

I've noticed the price of milk and cheese has gone through the roof. It's probably because cattle feed is being used to make ethanol. Fuck those assholes. The fertilizer made for corn production is made from fossil fuels. It takes one gallon of gas to grow .75 gallon of corn gas. What kind of fools do they take us for? Now a bag of feed corn is almost 20 bucks. Stupid stupid stupid! Six bucks for a gallon of milk and eight bucks for a pound of cheddar? Get a rope, some bureaucrat needs to swing.

I was thinking...we could drop a nuke on Adminijad over in Tehran and blame it on their carelessness with nuclear materials. Wouldn't that be a hoot? Maybe we could wait till Jimmy Carter is over there kneeling and bobbing on the terrorists for peace..

This world is going into the shitter. Its time we stopped playing nice nice with dictators and religious zealots and just do what is right. These monsters only respect force. Diplomacy just stalls the inevitable.

As you can tell I've been watching the news too much.

Question meme

I saw this meme over at Life on Life

What I was doing 10 years ago?
· Working as a computer tech 7 days a week
· Buying my first small house
· Working on adopting my first child
· Driving a 1974 Blue Chevy impala with a 3 foot rust hole on the rear fender
· Playing Quake II superheroes online with my friends.

Five things on my to-do list today?
· Get kids ready for school
· Call and bitch people out
· Check on my dad’s knee surgery
· Pick up kids from school
· Cook dinner and help kids with homework

Places I have traveled?
· Florida
· Mexico
· Arizona
· Colorado
· Louisiana

Five snacks or treats I enjoy?
· Good cheese such as muenster or Fontina
· Nachos
· Pistachios
· cashews
· anything with butter

Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
· Pay off all bills
· Fix up the house
· Start a company
· Hide from my grubbing relatives (they are terrible grubbers )
· Restore old cars
· Build a shooting range

Five of my bad habits?
· Nail biting
· Not buying myself new clothes or shoes
· Projecting an unfriendly demeanor in public.
· Cussing
· Being set in my ways

Five places I have lived? (I've only lived in three)
· Kansas City
· Albuquerque
· San Antonio

Five jobs I’ve had?
· Manufacturing coordinator
· Shop floor supervisor
· Computer analyst
· Entrepreneur
· Porter

Thoughts and meanderings

Last week I offered to pay my kids six dollars for each 55 gallon industrial strength trash bag full of leaves they set on the curb.

I had originally offered my 11 year old son 100 bucks to completely rake and bag the back yard.

(Yes our leaves just finished falling). It was a big job but I wanted to give him the opportunity to earn some real money with a tough job.

He agreed at first but then stalled and offered excuses every time I asked him when he was going to get started. Turns out he needed a lesson in motivation. I told him the deal was off and now I would rake and he and his sisters would bag it all up at a piece meal rate.

Man, when I was a kid, I had to do all that damn yard raking for free. If someone offered me money back then, I would have been on that job like stink on shit.

The job finally got done and the kids learned a partial lesson. (Work hard or dad yells a lot)

I went outside the next morning and noticed it was quite windy. To my utter dismay, both yards were once again full up with dead leaves!

So I went out and bought a 210MPH blow/suck machine with a bag attachment.

It was either that or pave over my fucking yard.

I vacuumed up all the leaves but I didn't let the kids help this time. They just wanted to use my new toy.... no dice!...Well maybe if they paid me.

Tagged

I think I was tagged a few times during my self imposed blog break so I'll try to get to them all.

1. Write your own six word memoire.


I can never be called typical.

Thanks BobG

Since I'm not big on rules, anyone who wants to try this one is welcome.

I couldn't have said it any better

Sick of all the mud slinging? This will cheer you up.

Sorry I've been gone so long

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes. I've had some difficult stuff going on and it's been tough for me to get back into blogging. I won't bore you with my issues. But I do intend to get back into the swing of things.

I'm touched that so many folks have been concerned about my absence.