Whores.. the lot of them
I used to work in a position where I subcontracted work out to different companies and did some purchasing and procurement. In that time, I dealt with a lot of sales people. I really hated these folks for a variety of reasons.
I'm not sure what it is with sales types, but there are several types I encountered in my 6 years as a buyer that just struck me the wrong way.
Here are some of them:
The bully: Takes an aggressive role, tells the customer he is stupid and naive for thinking there is anyone else but his client, uses insults, posturing and swagger to intimidate someone they consider weak in order to get a sale.
The Philosopher: Uses flowery language, cliches, outrageous metaphors in his spiel but never really says much of anything. There is a good chance he knows nothing more about his product than what can be found in the brochure.
The Briber: Will promise anything to get a sale. Yacht trips, Cruises, flights to Europe to visit their offices in Amsterdam, the sun moon and stars if that's what it takes. The naive buyer might fall for this and give the sale based on these promised perks. In actuality they never materialize and it was all just a big lie.
The Lecher: Takes the clients out to drink, then to titty bars, hookers, and does the buddy buddy drunk thing to get the sale. If the customer waffles after a couple nights of entertainment the Lecher salesman might try to blackmail him as a last ditch effort to secure a purchase order.
The Groupie: Sets up luncheons for everyone in the office, hangs around so much that most people think sales person is an actual employee. They also bring donuts every morning. Basically, this person reaches the customer through their stomach and generally lacks sales skills.
The Whore: Some of you might not believe this, but there are actually young attractive women who will sleep with a man just to get a sale or contract. Some of them dress like street hookers and take their mark out for a three hour "lunch" or drinks after hours.
This is probably the most effective strategy, because pussy makes men really really dumb.
The Go Getter. Won't stop calling, just shows up unannounced, puts his foot in the door, won't take no for an answer and probably sells Amway on the side. This is one of the most annoying types. Like a bad penny, they keep turning up.
I'm sure there are lots more. What types have you run into?
posted by Bill Rowland @ August 02, 2007
36 Comments
36 Comments:
The Go-Getter is, by far, the worst, and the one I encounter most often. I WISH I could get a Briber or the male version of the Whore.
Don't forget about The Wimp. This is the person who really shouldn't be in sales at all, who will give up at the very first no, and who will actually cost the company money just to keep him/her hired. I worked for a short time in sales and I'd say I was a combination of this and the Philosopher, or a Wimpy Philosopher. lol Sales is not my thing.
Every woman on the planet has suffered daily run-ins with each one you have described...except that the "whore" is a man.
Personally, I know of all these types and then some having been related to 2 persons who encompassed all of these traits in their make-up. Ain't family great?
Veritas et Fidelis Semper
we usually run into the Bully. they don't know what they are getting into when they start to bully me. hehehehe Gigantor thinks it's funny when I'm along.
We got the briber when we were buying our trailer, getting all the stuff we wanted in it. He didn't deliver with the stuff, and I called him on it, and he claimed he didn't promise us that. Well I had the paper work that said it came with that, I had never sent it back to them like I was "supposed" to. So I called the state housing commission and provided the paperwork. I had all my stuff done in 7 days. hehehehe
Having worked for three weeks as a used car salesman, I was taught some tricks to close a sale. The fake phone call was the one that they seemed to emphasize, where you would hold the phone and pretend to speak to someone getting information, approval for a deal or whatever.
I hate salesmen. Car salesmen specifically. If I could just go in like I do any other store, bring the car to the counter, pay for it and go, I'd be happy. This bartering to see just how far up my ass they are going to ultimately stick this car is out of control.
The chatterbox. He left unsolicited looong voicemails--often over 5 minutes. He wouldn't allow a phone conversation to end--Most of the time I'd say 'I don't have time, I have to get back to work', then I'd hang up while he was still talking. I told my boss about it, who called his boss, resulting in another 5+ minute voicemail "I don't understand, I was just trying to help...."
I think I dated the "GO GETTER"! But it didn't work out. Now he's married to "THE WHORE".
OH... You were talking about sales pitch weren't you? Silly me.
Oh, well typed, all of this and these.
Salespeople are mostly The Sleazes to me--faking their way until the actual moment of sale, and then they become sharks. Ick.
that sounds about right
I've dealt with all of the above...well minus the whore that is. Although I've dealt with salesmen who were way flirty with me and I knew they just wanted my money, The bastards! :)
I have run into alot of these people so its hard to say which one is most annoying. Except for the whore one I Hope. I am not really into women so unless we are just friends. LOL.. But now if you talk to my mother in law she might be interested. LOL.. Sorry hammer. Had to do that at least once. Well alright hubby should be home soon. So I need to go get girls in bed. Talk tomorrow.
The Slimy Night Crawler. Usually sells insurance used cars or works tele-sales.
Its a shame, to me, that my profession has sunk this low. I can not disagree with any of the sling posted here. Also, I want everyone here to know that in no way am I offended.
But mark my words, there are a few of us left that do really honor the profession. Yes, I am in sales. I am also very proud of it. I do well in what I do. I help people come to decisions for things they know they need. I feel that it is because I know a secret that many have forgotten. Everything is selling.
The next time you are trying to convince someone to do things your way or to go somewhere you want...you are selling. Some sales are harder than others...but they are still sales. Selling is the oldest profession. I know many think that prostitution is the oldest profession but please bear in mind that prostitution is just a subset of sales. In the end, the product or service must be sold.
Again, I can't say that I blame anyone for hating salespeople. I want to kick the sleezes asses that are ruining it for the rest of us. And in understanding how everyone feels I can safely say that I hate:
Doctors
Insurance Brokers
Stock Brokers
Home Construction Companies
Dentists (not true doctors)
Lawyers
and Enginneers.
Deceiving, self centered, oportunistic faggots....the lot of them!
ROTFLMAO!
Flyinfox_SATX
Well, my hub is in sales. I'm pretty sure he's not a whore. He's honest as far as I can tell after 27 years. I guess it depends on what field you're talking about. Pretty much all of us are selling something, regardless of our field. Ourselves, our service, whatever. Integrity is possible throughout it all.
I know this is off the Mark- But the Jehovah's Witness for PURE HOME INVASION- and I have the SURE FIRE SECRET TO KEEPING THEM AT BAY.
Come to me to pic up thi ANTI-JEHOVAH"S WINESS TOOL- OR "WITNESS AWAY"
JOHN
WHAT? You mean there are women who will use their looks to get a sale? Where were these women before I was married? And why wasn't I in any position back then to be subjected to such stuff?
I don't like sales people myself. They're scary.
Ha! Those who have the pussy... rule the world... MMMWAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Salespeople are an unwelcome byproduct of modern civilization, like the depletion of the ozone layer.
Allie D the wimp was annoying too because I actually felt sorry for them and would try to give them pointers.
Deborah: having them in the family has got to be a nightmare!
Burfica: glad you got your due from the briber, most are to ashamed and embarassed to pursue them.
lex: I've experienced the fake call and I just roll my eyes at them. It must work though.
JP: they just won't let it go for a reasonable price as long as they can draw it out and treat you like a schmuck.
sevesteen: I got those too and was very thankful for 7,7 skip and delete.
onefullhouse: they run in the same circles.
jocelyn: I agree, unless they want a long term buisness relationship they are the fuck em and leave em type.
snowmanpoop: indeed :)
goldbloom: I always hated the flirters that were after my money. Such a let down.
Tweety: the wore disgusted me the most. I just couldn't imagine a woman spreading her legs for a $800 commission.
phosgene: insuance is bad they try to convince you that it's an investment.
Flyinfox: I built and sold computers and service myself. Like you I kept high standards.
kim: Integrity is indeed possible but in the 80's and 90's I saw none of it. Glad you have some good examples.
John: I agree well done!
Dorky: not their looks, their gaping vaginas... yes very scary
Cheesy: so correct
Diesel can we trade the ozone for the shitty sales people?
And there's Herb Tarleck, who seemed to embody every one of those types into a single person.
Never met a salesman or saleswoman who wasn't a lier. At least as far as their occupation is concerned.
The most annoying salespeople I've met weren't through my job though. I know you won't believe this but, it's at car dealerships. I HATE having to shop for a car.
The other ones high on my list of annoying, well hell, they're ALL annoying, but ones that hang out at those kiosks in the malls and approach you as you're just walking by. (blogged about these sharks last Dec. after xmas hopping) Excuse me, did I appear to be even slightly interested in your wares as I was passing by? I have eyes and know what I might be interested in when I see it. And your kiosk crap ain't it. And NO you aren't going to beat the cell phone deal I already have. If I thought you could or was even remotely interested in hearing you lie to me, I'D STOP on my own.
Hammer, you never want to get me started on this subject!
Rant out.
I know a realtor who wrote off her boob job on her taxes...she said it assisted her in sales.
I can't even classify the 11 or 12 sales reps I work with on a daily basis at my job. As far as lumping them all thogether, I would have to say stubborn imbeciles. You better get cracking and add that category.
the markdon wheedling guilt tripper
the product is originally 150 dollars but can be had today for 120
no 80
no 60
no 55
no 40 but that is the final price ok?
you are gonna buy one now right?
come on, it's ONLY 40 dollars and it WAS 120.
that's a good deal, right?
you must have 40 dollars
that is only forty dollars
it was 120, but only today right now, forty... for you... forty dollars.
What do you say?
I will give you two for 70.
TWO for 70!!! That's only 35 dollars each.
You want 2 for 70?
That way you can give one as a gift...
Ok Ok forty is for one, but only today.
You don't have forty?
You MUST have forty....
I really need to sell some today.
It's such a good price, forty, just for you, but only today.
(The product was a nailfile, some lotion and cuticle cream.)
Drugstore price, about 10 bucks, maybe 12.
ooops should have read,
MARKDOWN WHEEDLING GUILT TRIPPER
My husband is The Charmer,
He says patently ridiculous things like "Your driveway will be so gorgeous, you'll want to bring your living room furniture outside just to sit and look at it"
He's just so full of shit but you can't help liking it. What can I say? Those who aren't going just for the lowest price, buy.
My son does The Ernest:
He points out the fudgeable areas in other contracts where they could be charged extra. But look - it's covered in ours. We are the Good Guys. There are other Good Guys but you'd better watch for the Bad Guys.
Also, we ALL do the "We Know What We Are Talking About" thing. Info overload - all truth but it inspires confidence. I have never even so much as watched a driveway being paved, but I know all the necessary steps and what can go wrong and can explain a heck of a lot over the phone to people. So we sound like Experts. People like that.
There is also the "Fearmonger". This is popular these days. These guys insist you buy the product because, if you don't, you will die, be ugly, be friendless, loveless, pennyless etc.
Alan: that was my favorite show as a kid and yeah he opitimized the class I'm talking about.
Dan o: Those kiosk guys with the scalp massagers, puppet things and cell phones. I feel like pushing their cart over the railing.
Stepping: That's exactly what I'm talking about!
Sornie: Stubborn imbecile is a good description for many I've workd with.
Infini: That sounds exactly like the person selling gym memberships and coupon books. I'm not such a nice guy anymore because of those assholes.
Jeannie: what you describe isn't so bad, actually honest tactics I respect. Sometimes they lay it on thick but as long as they deliver what they promise. Except the fear mongers..they are like intellectual terrorists ;)
Why is it that I only seem to encounter bullies? Maybe it's an east coast thing?
Very funny!
because pussy makes men really really dumb
By the way, I have a post about boobs today.
Once a woman reaches a certain age, young attractive men get bad about flirting with her. Is it because she's attractive? Nope. She may be, but that's not why they do it. It's because they know if they make her feel like young men still find her attractive, she'll sign her soul over and gladly give up all her money.
Lummy! I don't really know to be honest. What I do know is that several centuries ago [poor penniless student that I was] I went for an interview with a BIG firm.
There were zillions of tests and questionnaires and more tests to find suitable candidates and a barrage of interviews.
At the end, the head boss man called me in. He told me that whilst I'd zipped perfectly through all the tests, he wouldn't hire me.
He wouldn't hire me because I had 'poor eye contact,' and we never trust anyone like that!
Cheers
Half sis's current job (#9 in the last two years....) is a sales position. And I am sure her customers are trying all kinds of new positions with her.
And I'm the black sheep of the family.
Dan, I used to work wih one, He deserves his own post
Nyx: I forgot about that. Now that there are many more women in posession of company purse strings I bet there are a lot of unscrupulous dogs out there trying to prey on insecurity.
mcewen: sometimes that can be misconstrued. They don't sound like people you would want to work for anyway.
Marianne: Ouch, I remember your sister stories and from the sounds of it she may have found her calling in sales
Why did I never have the whore sales lady? Damnit...I miss all the fun.
I used to sell Kirby vacuums and my favorite sales approach was the "now or never" approach. If you don't buy it now, you may never get another chance again to own one of these at this incredible low, low price of only $5,000.
You pretty much covered them all, Hammer !
In my life, I've mostly gotten the bully. And something about my size is like waving a red flag in front of a bull, a challenge to them.
I tried out argueing them, but found out that a low calm voice with a small smile as I kept telling them no, made them the maddest of all.
So, I've perfected this combination of body language that says, "I'm gonna stomp you into the dust" with a half smile and peaceful words that makes blood shoot out of their eyes they're so mad.
No matter how bad I want something, I never buy from the bully.
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