This and that
The wife is gone for another week, she has to be in El Paso for a surprise inspection of a facility she's in charge of. It kind of sucks but I'm just glad the kids are being good. I've gone 4 days without cleaning crayon off the walls, breaking up fist fights and dodging thrown toys. I'm fucking ecstatic.
I took the kids to see the Simpsons, kind of preachy, had some funny parts, but they kind of lost me after the first 20 min. Still, it was more entertaining than sitting at home listening to temper tantrums.
I tried to take the kids out for pizza but they insisted on TV dinners instead, I don't know what's possessing them, but I ain't going to rock the boat.
I've been "hermitizing" myself for the last few weeks. It has got to the point where my in laws were showing up unannounced and ringing the goddamn doorbell 50 times and would not leave until I opened the door.
They were just stopping by to bother me I suppose. I'm a lot nicer to them then their daughter is, but they can still tell I am not overly enthused with their unexpected company.
I'm not answering the phone either. Seems lately someone is always wanting something from me and I don't feel like I have much of me to spare. The giving tree is barren. So all the fair weather friends, moochers and tagalongs in my life can suck my balls.
My fucking brother in law, hasn't bothered to stop by and see his nieces and nephews or his sister in almost a year. He lives and works 10 min away. It seems he has been going over and hanging with my estranged sister in law who is handing out money and big ticket gifts to buy his and everyone elses loyalty.
I've done so much for that guy, bailed him out, fixed his car twice, paid his bills, and he just drops us like a wet rancid turd.
All of the sudden yesterday, he calls out of the blue, and I let the machine pick it up:
"Hey man I just got back from Disney World and I need you to come pick me up at the airport"
I didn't even answer... He left 5 messages. He has no shame whatsoever.
Fuck him...I'm done. The whole lot of them are a bunch of users and losers.
In the very few times I have ever called for a favor the answer was always no or a lame excuse of some sort.
Maybe I'm finally getting smart enough to return the favor.
posted by Bill Rowland @ August 14, 2007
41 Comments
41 Comments:
I was a meh on The Simpsons movie too. Glad the kids aren't drawing on the walls and screaming anymore ;)
I had some people in my family who always came to me for "everything".
I stopped it...so now I don't here from them at all. Funny huh?
Peace
I can identify with the hermitizing. I'm going through a hermit period right now myself. Sometimes I feel like I have to pull my head into my shell in order to save my sanity.
You sound a bit down Mr The Hammer, unlike your normal upbeat and in your face self... I think you are a nice guy by the way, but sometimes you do have to say no! Otherwise you just end up resenting everyone. Im glad things are OK with the kids as well..
I thought the Simpsons movie was pretty poor, some funny bits but not up to scratch.
"So all the fair weather friends, moochers and tagalongs in my life can suck my balls."
This comment really cracked me up for some reason. LOL
Hey you can always pack up the kids and come visit down here. We can have a tropical storm party. What do you think???
Man, relatives. People who have decent ones are so fuckin' lucky. Sounds like you have the right attitude.
hermitizing can be renewing can't it? like the pic too.
i like the picture.
maybe your should just drop-kick your brother-in-law back to Disney World.
I feel for you. And agree. I'm not sure I'd have the cajones to simply not participate but then I don't have cajones anyway. Actually, I think I pulled back long ago - my very small circle of friends is evidence enough of that I suppose. We simply enjoy eachother's company - do nice things for eachother but never keep track.
I don't have an answering machine at home. I hate them although I can see how they would be useful to filter unwanted calls.
One of my brothers and my sister live here in Houston. It's been a year since I've seen either of them - although we talk on the phone about once a month. My youngest brother lives in Dallas. I saw him 2 weeks ago - for the first time in a year. But you know what? It's not that we don't love each other or care about each other. It's just that we have lives and families of our own.
Glad to hear things are getting better for the time being. Kids are weird that way.
Your kids are being good and mine seem to be little devils. I just asked Bri why she is throwing her clothe all over the place and she looks at me and says, " Because I am." Kids.
Dude,
With all that is going on, you just sound angry...which is not the Hammer I am used to. I think you are doing all the right things. And maybe letting the steam out here on your blog is a good thing...
Just let the anger go...it doesn't serve you.
Hope all goes well for you!
Flyinfox_SATX
I thought that the Simpsons Movie was pretty good, it was definitely better than I thought it would be.
Many of us can relate, Hammer. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family or your friends' nose. My family only brings me grief and negative emotions; so the less I see of them, the happier and more successful I am. It's a weird phenomenon, but I think it has to do with greed, selfishness and a general "me first" mentality. In the words of Metallica....fuck it all and fuckin' no regrets. You're not a doormat. I think you're cool.
“So all the fair weather friends, moochers and tagalongs in my life can suck my balls.” LOL
You have the right idea…time to dump the wasteful people in the trash.
Gad...your wife's family is like my husbands family. He's the youngest of 9, so I have crap times 8. blahhhhhhh That's alot of crap. hehehe
I chi wa-wa.... whattapost.
hermiting is kinda fun, huh?
wet rancid turd was the funniest part of this post.
We wear the same shoes dude. ~~~~~Internet hugs~~~~~ Hang in there man. You ignore them long enough, they might go away. I'm trying that right now with my dysfunctional clan.
I say have fun with 'em.
Answer the door in full S&M leather + hoodie.
Pick him up at the airport (or whereever) with any and all gay buddies. Tell the guys to wear their most outlandish outfits, make up and wigs a plus.
In casual conversation, see if you can fit that second knuckle up the left nostril. Look 'em in the eyes as you do this.
Drop the kids off for an afternoon visit. Load them up with as much soda and candy as they can stuff in their faces first. Go see a movie. A long movie. Hell, make it two.
Go back to the car you fixed. Take back the part you fixed. Forget to mention it to the offending in-law.
Disconnect the wire in the door bell button or fiddle with the interior speaker. When they start knocking, answer the door with plenty of giggleberry & and ass-crack scratching. Be generous with the handshakes and back slaps, ruffle some hair, etc.
i'm married to a man who will drop everything to help a person out. it hasn't been until the last five years or so he's seen the err of his ways and now finds it very easy to say, "NO!"...except to our children and he retains round heels where they're concerned. but, they are excellent kids so i don't complain much - we only have them around for three and four more years.
families can be SUCH a pain in the ass. Maybe you need to change your message on your machine telling the caller ..."if you are family, we have moved and if you don't have our new number take the hint..lmao."
I just spent a week with my family ..
I rented a car that mainly sat in mamas drive way..
But I did it cause everyone always looks so pissy when I needed to go back to the airport when my trip is over..( I picked Cynnie up..I'm not taking her to charlotte )..
Families suck.
I know how you feel, it seems like if one more thing gets dumped you'll have no choice but to run screaming from the room or shoot up the local convenience store. I don't ever answer my phone unless I know who's on the other end.
It's always that our family are the first to equate being a "nice guy" with being a doormat---with a capital "D"!
However, intstead of ending up in an ICU over such ________ (add word of choice) feel free to let go of it here. We certainly don't mind your sharing, as so many of us have first hand knowledge of being both used and discarded by family and friends alike.
Veritas et Fidelis Semper
P.S. Besides, Little Mary Sunshine, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, and Pollyanna are some of the most nauseating fictional characters ever invented. Happy all of the time equals nothing changing which equals stagnation which equals a VERY boring existence. Feel better? Good.
Good to hear Daddy doesn't have to scrub the walls or dodge toys while Mum is away.
I haven't seen the Simpons, buuttt I must sing "Spider Pig! Spider Pig!"
He probably thinks since he's family, you're obligated to do these things for him. However, I hardly consider people that behave that way as "family". Hope he gets the point.
Dear Hammer's kids,
Look after the fella. I think he's missing your Mom more than he would care to admit.
Cheers
David
Dear Hammer's brother-in-law,
Your so lucky to have real family close by. Celebrate it.
Cheers
David
Wow, user is the right term. What a pack of assholes. I don't blame you for being evasive - it's just self-preservation. Good for you for not picking up the asshole at the airport. If he can afford to go to a Disney resort, he can afford his own fucking cab- or shuttle-fare. Jerk!
m: me too I was beside myself for a while there.
odat: I'm just about to that point. Two of them don't speak to me either once I refused to loan them money
Janet: I'm in sanity saving mode myself :)
Mutley: I'm in the middle of the learning curve regarding the "no" word, it's a process.
Johnny law: Thanks for stopping by, yeah I try to sprinkle a little humor even in my pissed off posts :)
H20: lol I've been to tropical storm parties before. Lots of wind :)
FHB: I kept thinking they would come around but it turns out I'm the one who has to change.
katherine: The pic kinda fits my mood :)
minjonb: I agree he lives in a fantasy world as it is.
jeannie: I'm one who is happy with a 20/80 realtionship with me providing the 80 but when it starts going lower than that it's time for me to go.
jami: I wish it were like that, I think since they were so close knit and now they don't contact us for over a year, I think it hurts the kids the most and they don't give a crap.
Tweety: my oldest daughter ges like that, she tests me to see if I'm going to get up and deal with her smart alec comments.
flyin-fox: I'm not pissed, just determined :) Venting helps.
Brandon: I agree, compared to the last few seasons it was a throw back to the way they used to do the show.
Pau: I think you explained the situation precisely. I'm getting there, but the wife is still holding on although I think she is more annoyed than I am.
marie: It's like a closet full of old junk useless people have to be cleaned out once in a while.
burfica: you need a snow shovel!
infini: Got to put those visuals in there ;)
marianne: Yeah it's no fun being an enabler. I'm getting there :)
murphy: Damn man lol I like the way you think. Excuse me while I go take back the $900 transmission he never bothered to pay me for :D
nanc: Yeah the kids come first and I think that's the big catalyst in my situation. I'm hoping they will learn from the whole experience.
Canadian flake: a few years ago I recored the "beep boop beep sorry the numer you have dialed..." into the answering machine. Everyone had a shit fit and my wife made me change it back :)
cynnie: Exactly! Being at the whim of someone elses mood and attitude is not for me, I always bring a car too.
kat: Same here, it drives my wife crazy but I think she's starting to like my method when it saves her from dealing with annoying shit :)
Deborah: Thanks, I guess it would be boring to have everything go perfectly all the time :)
random: I loved the spider pig stuff :) Using the family card as a trump just isn't flying with me anymore.
David McMahon: Thanks :) I appreciate the kind words.
Phlegmy: The disney thing was his sister's attempt to buy him off after all her horrid behavior, she paid for everything. He spends all his money up his nose he never has two dimes to rub together. I'm done with that bool sheet...
Users and losers...we all know a few people like that.
So lately it's out with the old, in with the new. I don't have time or tolerance for people that only come around when they need a favor. Or those that gossip or criticize all the time thinking you'll always be around taking their crap. I'm so over that.
TV dinners over pizza WHAT?
One of the best moments of my life was when I decided I no longer cared what the relatives thought of me and that I wasn't going to play their games anymore. Good for you!
Relatives. Don't you just wish you could kill them, chop up their bodies and leave 'em in a duffel bag down by the railroad tracks? Did I say that out loud??
My friend, you have definitely gotten smart enough. I have a moochy, user in-law like that. I wised up a year or so ago and told him he could kiss me right between the cheeks before I did him another favor. I hadn't felt so good in months. I hear from other family that he was so ashamed to be shut down like that way that he has tried to be kind to others since then. I'm still not buyin' it. He's gonna have to stay on the straight and narrow for a long time before I come around. And kudos for keeping multiple kids in check while your wife's away. Gotta be tough. I'm afraid of the challenge of one approaching child, much less an entire brood.
Do they still call them "TV Dinners"?? I am giggling about the brother in law "hey man, I just got back from Disney world, come pick me up". I don't know what's funnier, that he had the balls to call and expect it, or how pissed off you are about it (as you should be). But it still makes me giggle.
I like reading your blog because you don't pussy-foot around. You tell it like it is. I hate when people bullshit too much.
Sorry about the in-laws. I have nightmares that
Stucco's mother is just going to drop by and take us by surprise.
Scarlet: You and me both, it's a hard learned lesson.
snowmanpoop: Don't ask me, I think they had their playtime planned out and didn't want to mess up their schedule.
Terri: Good deal, I don't care what they think anymore now it's just finding a happy compromise with letting the kids see em without getting dragged into their bullshit.
Phosgene: hehe I won't tell if you don't ;)
James: I wish my relatives had some shame :) I'm sure you'll do fine with the kid, from reading about you and the way your dad brought you up, it seems like you have the basics covered.
Stepping: Good question, I call em that or just soggy shit on a tray :) Yeah Bro in law has some issues with boundaries that's for sure.
schmoopie: From reading about your MIL I really hope you don't get a visit. (shudder)
I have 2 brothers that would use me like that also, I cut them off many years ago. I think they finally got the message. It sucks.
So glad you're screening the calls. I often use my message system for the same thing. But the newest game is with ComCast who does my cable. They like to call me once a day to sellme crap. It's all about high speed internet and phone service. I always listen about the internet and then say, Do you have to have a computer for that? Oh, I use the library for all emails (not) Stops them cold everything. I also say that we use my DH work cell for most calls- long distance and local - Can they meet or beat S24. a month on phone rates...SILENCE again. I guess I have a way to doing that to people. The DO NOt Call list applies only to vendors that you don't have a business relationship with, who I love playing the game with my "business partners".
Also, this week my DD has been EVIL. It must be in the air or something. School starts in 7 days, 14 hrs and 55 minutes.
So Hammer- How's it going man?
Everything OK? Haven't really had a chance to sit down and talk with ya lately- since you won't come to the fucking door!
I brought Cheetos! Oh well....let me know if you ever decide to come out of your shell. I'll be the wino slumped over in the corner of your front porch with urine stained doo doo infected britches, coughing up hair balls the size of Guinea pigs....but never mind me- I be aaaaight!!!!
Answer the Damn phone,
John
This breaks my heart, Hammer. My family and my wifes were and the one's still living are, a bunch of sweethearts. My Mother-in-law, was a piece of work at times, I always thought she was bipolar, but since she passed away, that's over too. Even then, her good way outweighed the bad, so we've always been really fortunate.
You're doing the right thing though, and in the long run, it's probably better for your kids that they don't have to associate with the hangers on and money-grubbers.
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