Goings on
The other night my son came up to me distressed, saying the wire on his braces was cutting into the side of his mouth.
I looked inside and couldn't see much but he was obviously in great pain so I tried to pull the wire out with my fingers. It wouldn't budge. It was tied in with very small rubber bands and hooked to the brackets on his teeth.
So I broke out the Swiss army knife, unfolded the mini scissor accessory and clipped all the bands. Still the wire wouldn't move and the boy was getting more and more upset as the wire dug deeper into his cheek.
I unfolded the pliers out of the Swiss army tool and started yanking the wire. Both sides were out but still attached in the middle and the wire was laying across his cheeks like some weird sci-fi experiment.
He said that's fine, it feels better now.
There was no way I was going to let him walk around for two days with a piece of 24 gauge stainless wire hanging out of his pie hole.
I unfolded the wire cutter function and snipped both sides and was able to pull the remaining middle piece out the side, breaking the bracket off his front tooth in the process.
Well at least he felt better.
His appointment was the next day, so I went took him in and they fixed up all my handy work.
Expecting to pay the normal amount, I was surprised to see my Swiss army Orthodontics cost me an extra $104. Well shit... the boy was in pain, the office was closed, what the fuck else am I supposed to do?
The wife got back from her school, a star student. Don't know why she never believes me when I tell her she is smarter than every other dumbass she works with.
She's now knows how to de-ice planes, marshall them in, empty the toilets, fuel the jets, use all the loading equipment, and actually take off and land a 727 if need be. Pretty cool school if you ask me.
She doesn't work for an airline but the company she works for owns one.
Today was the first day in two weeks youngest daughter didn't scream a fit like a banshee for several hours. My ears still hurt. The kid's voice is all ragged now and she sounds like a 20 pack a day smoker. I hope it gets better soon, she normally has a nice voice.
Well that's my crap for now.
posted by Bill Rowland @ August 10, 2007
37 Comments
37 Comments:
I would never let my dad adjust my braces. Your son trusts u more I guess.
you're a good good dad. Your orthodontist work is priceless. well done. (me laughing at the thought of going in with a swiss army knife!)
I think it's worth it if you kept your son from having any more pain. How did that thing spring loose?
I wonder if your daughter stopped screaming because your wife is back home?
Dang thats some pricey wire...
Dang thats some pricey wire...
It is hard when your kid is in pain...I would do anything to stop the suffering for my gremlins...Of course the orthodonist hit you where it hurts, in the wallet.
All this and you're a dentist too!
Man, you sure are handy to have around...I suppose.
Well I certainly wasn't expecting to see that!
Believe me, not matter what the $ cost, that wire had to go. [might want to invest in some of that wax stuff for another time]
Glad everyone's back together again.
Cheers and ahave a great weekend.
Hey, I thought your only tool was a hammer, and you go and pull out a Swiss Army tool? You coulda just knocked the teeth outta his head with a hammer and gave him a shot of whiskey or two.
You gotta love a guy who takes the "hands-on" approach to orthodontia! :)
I always offer to do dental work for people at work if they need a discount option to real dentists. How hard can it be? Look how much you got done with a swiss army knife! I have Black and Decker power tools...hell, I bet I could even do fillings!
i had braces
and a sadistic orthodontist
are there any other kind?
and it would stand to reason that a pair of braces... SHOULD inclued in the cost, a pledge that no wire will ever dig into one's flesh.
Also, ask the boy if the sadist gave him any wax.... he was supposed to get wax. You put the wax over the wire wherever it hurts your cheek. It sucks, but it is a temp solution until you can get in to have an adjustment.
Re: Banshee.... maybe now would be a good time to have her process what happened, you know, ask her how it felt to be so angry, and if she feels better now that she let it out. And tell her you love her and that you are her Dad forever.
In my opinion, all that screaming was release, and probably a lot of anger was involved at being neglected by her biological mother and watching her do her business in a drugged out state.
Like, the more she sees what a normal family is, the more she realizes what a crappy life she had before you adopted her. And even though she cannot rationalize it or explain it, she is PISSED OFF, and needs a way to let it out.
It's not acceptable behavior, but it may be important to her to continue for awhile, and that is why she does not listen when you reason with or punish her over it.
It's like telling someone not to take a crap once they have been constapated for 2 weeks. one way or another, that crap is coming out.
Your love is the laxitive for an emotional constapation she has been building for years.
That it is coming out now, just means that she trusts you and feels safe. She knows that you will still "keep" her even if she acts out, and subconsciously, this may be a bit of a test for you. To see if you still love her when it is over.
Sounds like it may be over.
The good news is, that if she did not feel safe, like she obviously does, the anger would manifest in her teen years by running away and doing drugs etc. You put in the work now, but when she is really capable of putting you through the ringer (IE 15) she won't because she had a safe place to release her past pain now.
Well, this has been another long ass comment from the Masters Psych student. Hope it helped a little.
ahhh that's "wringer"
and the other commenter who asked if it stopped because your wife came home is probably on the money.
Youngest daughter might be afraid of men.
Not afraid of Dad, but just men in general, you may not notice it, but it could be there.
Wow. That is some handy work. I know if they girls were ever in pain like that I would do the same thing too. Its a parental thing. Now this thing with your wife. Your telling us she could be a pilot if she wanted to be??? WOW. Its amazing what people can do. J has considered becoming a pilot. but not sure if he has the guts to get up in the air. LOL...
snowmanpoop: I think it was more panic and desperation.
stepping:Thanks, Its really cheap considering what they actually do.
janet: when the teeth move the wire doesn't and she stopped the morning before my wife came home for some odd reason.
kevin: indeed. I guess they include installation :)
canadian: I'll do anything for pain stoppage :)
mushy: well I can take anything apart...
mcewen: I had wax but the wire was too far into the cheek to do any good. It usually works pretty well though.
paul: He is at the stage where he only has a few teeth to begin with, the tooth fairy is getting 3 at a time.
schmoopie: if I only had the right tools I could be a proper quack ;)
jp: I bet your shop would be better than most of the third world :)
infini: The wire was too far embedded for the wax unfortunately.
Sadly my daughter was acting up worse when my wife was around saving the worst tantrums for when she gets home. For some reason yesterday she just gave it up, I talked to her and lectured her till I was blue in the face..not sure if it had any effect or she just decided to stop on her own.
This daughter got less neglect and abuse than her older sister and doesn't even remember her bio mother, however the foster home, malnutrition, rotten teeth etc I'm sure has some deep seated lasting effect.
Tweety: They just did some simulator training,for what reason I'm not sure, maybe just as a perk. I'm sure she would make a great pilot if she wanted to be.
I am going through the same thing with my kid right now. I feel your (and his as well) pain. Cheers and good luck with the braces.
At least you had the tools handy to help him feel better! What a good daddy you are! Fucking ortho people get enough money...thats crap that they charged you extra!
Have a great weekend!
Swiss Army Knifes Rock
To bad mine got confiscated in Cozumel. I'm sure someone over there has a cool swiss army knife they love.
Damnit
So I am reading this thread and I am thinking 'this is not going to end on a positive note'. But evidently you missed your calling Hammer.
Or should I say, Dr. Hammer?
I think infinatesimal just defined the source and reason for how I've been feeling this past year. Holy shit. I need a therapist.
I really need to get kiddo braces, but I keep putting it off. ahhhhhhh
The other day I lanced a boil with a rusty knife.
Your life sounds exciting and interesting.
Too bad your wife wasn't going to dental school.
Hammer,
Oh! This post made my mouth hurt. I had braces as a kid. I know I would have endured the pain before I let my Dad go into my mouth with a Swiss Army tool (Dad would've been up to the task for sure).
I hated my orthodontist too, that rat bastard.
You've stirred up all kinds of emotions in me. I think I need a valium.
Well, if I don't get coverage for dental next year, at least now I have connections.
matt-man: thanks it sure is a pain in the ass..err mouth
jenny: the ortho people are nice folks but they always act weird when I tell them I don't know how to fix their shit when it breaks.
alekx: those assholes are always stealing anything pointy.
marianne: get in line I could use some too ;)
burfica: actually these days it's not near as bad as it used to be.
nick: That sounds like me except I use a rusty nail or a coat hanger :) Thanks for stopping by!
rose: just noisy and sometimes infuriating especially lately
phosgene: Then she wouldn't let me use my swiss army knife.
jerry: sorry to open old wounds, I got lucky and didn't need em, but it looks like all my kids will.
onefulhouse: hehe I can break em at least.
There's a song on Blue October's CD called "Drilled a Wire Through My Cheek."
Now I have it in my head.
I enjoy your crap downloads, especially if they involve you and the Swiss Army.
I need braces really frickin' badly (note lips clenched in my profile pic), but those shits are mad crazy expensive that I've foregone them my whole life. I wonder if I struck it rich and decided to get them, they'd still be able to manipulate my teef.
I sure as heck don't know if I'd let someone other than the orthodontist himself tinker with all the wiring in there, but I think if it was you, I might trust you.
G'day Hammer,
Mate, your son is one brave dude. Not sure I'd trust anyone to stick a Swiss army knife into my mouth ....
Take care
David
you totally did the right thing. But I saw where that was going. Oh how I hated braces when I was a kid.
Oh my god... this post was both hilarious (in a "funny cuz it's true" kind of way) and scary as hell. My 12 year old is doomed to get braces in a matter of weeks now. You'll have to post and let us know what the orthodontist said upon examining your handiwork!!
That is still awsome that she did that though. Also kids have there perks and know when to push out buttons. But we love them all the same.
Nobody should ever fuck with the swiss, those army knives being so cool and lethal.
And that school does sound cool.
That's cool Hammer. I somtimes miss doing all of that stuff with Delta. That was a fun/frustrating/exciting/infuriating job. I hope all goes well for your wife.
Back in the day, even people remotely connected to the airline world got HUGE discounts on hotels and flying and whatnot. You guys need to look into the perks. They were always way better than anything Priceline or Expedia would have. You would have to arrange things a little more in advance, but holy cow there were some deals available.
two out of three of mine had braces...the middle one tried her own fixit once...cause they were hurting....I'm surprised it only cost you $104.
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