Tagged I'm it!
Carrie tagged me to write six weird things about me. I've probably listed 2490 so far but at risk of repeating some, I'll do a few more.
1. Computers hate me. I've been working on them for 13 years and not once has anything gone right or according to plan. I can build 5 identical machines with identical parts and every single one will be possessed by a different problem.
2. I have a bad habit of yelling "MOVE IT... YOU COCKSUCKER!" when people stop suddenly in the road in front of me for no apparent reason.
3. I grew up not being touched and to this day I cannot stand people getting close or putting their hands on me. It takes all of my will power not to be rude about it.
4. I have the most sensitive nose of anyone I know. I could be used as a rescue dog or to detect drugs at the airport. It's a mixed blessing because when something smells nasty it's downright painful.
5. I can fluctuate 50 or 60 pounds in weight, no one will notice and I still wear the same sized clothes.
6. I use herbs and natural remedies for everything and have done so for the last 15 years. I also try to convince others to do the same.
posted by Bill Rowland @ May 24, 2007
33 Comments
33 Comments:
Using the herb, eh mon? No worries, you still have the ailment, but you just don't care!!
Weird thing about me - well, pretty much everything.
I'm with you on 3 and 4... you can have all the "herb" you want.. I'll pass lol
"MOVE IT... YOU COCKSUCKER!"
entirely valid arguement, my friend.
fact is, some of the motherfuckers should not only not be on the road, but, they should also squarely be put to death.
Class "B" CDL, I.
you have my heart-felt sympathy.
B-|
---
Who thinks you're weird?
1. THANK YOU for your honesty-thought I was alone.
2. I love Texans!
3. That's not so bad, considering the "bathroom blog" below.
4. Another possible career path.
5. As a lady, all I can say is
AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!
6. Sensible advice.
Veritas et Fidelis Semper
Phosgene: lol not that kind of herb, but if you got some... ;)
snowmanpoop: talk to phosgene, he uses his gas mask for a bong ;)
Dr Chip: I always wanted one of those little vote boxes like on the game shows for the road, if enough people vote you off... Kaboom!
Deborah: on #5 I carry my weight all over my body so I can go to the carnival and win the biggest prize on the shelf because they always guess my weight wrong by understating at least 50 pounds. I'm trying to lose a few right now so I can wear my one piece ;)
Hammer, let me stop quicly in front of you, come over to your car with a computer problem, and give you a great big hug for listing those personal characteristics so openly.
BTW, a little Zoloft might help that touching disorder of yours.
An ultra-sensitive nose? I don't think I envy you at all. There are a lot of things out there that I don't want to smell.
Do you know any natural remedies for the relief of poison ivy itch?
My mother had to go to the ER today to get a shot for hers. While telling me about it on the phone tonight, she was wondering what people did for that back in the "old days".
I am trying to build a small hut so I'm eating fiber-- red tips , bark and mulch- I'm shitting hard packed sawdust briks and passing dust farts and shoud have tinder box hut ready to burn down any day now! As soon as some asshole throws a gigarette butt out the window.
Fav- Shampoo- HERBAL- essence!
I have a suggestion for No 2:
http://stock-city-girl.blogspot.com/search/label/Law
Do u have a suggestion for appropriate punishment? All I got so far is death penalty.
So if I slow down on the street and someone behind me yells "move it, you cocksucker," I'll know it's you. And that I can just poke you with my finger until you freak out and run away, cause of the whole touching-fobia. Mehehe.
Strange about you not liking people touch you - is that your family included on this too? how was your wife able to handle your aversion to this? Or is it just external sources of touch?
Have you ever tried drinking British real ales really heavily? Sure to cure the smell issue and the touching...you'll be hugging skunks after ten pints...
madz: oh that's just mean ;)
dorky dad: me either!
cindi: aloe vera and calamine are the ones usualy suggested. I used to suffer from that terribly as a kid.
John: Finally! Reycling gets put to good use ;)
evalinn: Can we hit them with sticks first?
choo choo: Damn I didn't think of that... ;)
Judith: Nah my immediate family is cool as long as they don't sit right on top of me. My paternal nature overrides my ick factor.
mutley: You know I think I successfully experimented with that method in New Orleans one time, but I can't remember the result.
1. What's a computer?
2. Asshole is my word
3. I was not touched either except in nasty ways but I crave hugs and
hand holding
4. Poor and lucky you. Not me.
5. I can fluctuate about 20 lbs and stay in the same size but people notice.
6. I like natural stuff too but I'm not religious about it. Frankly, I don't use much of anything.
Good Friday morning Hammer !
Hee-hee on number 2 - my mouth gets pretty profane too at some people's driving...
I don't like most people touching me... It's the one out of ten million I fall in love with that I love touching me that almost always ends up breaking my heart.
Being able to smell is an awesome gift... Especially because my house always smells good and clean...
Natural remedies worked for years. No reason not to use them !
So.... How is Disneyworld going ???
That's the same thing I yell when driving! That sucks about your nose though...yuck!
Jeannie: "Asshole" is good too but it doesn't sound gutteral enough ;)
Annie: The smell serves me well when the kids hide a ham sandwich under their mattress or the dog decides to leave a gift in my shoe.
Disney is up in the air, both my son and daughter have last minute dental issues that need to be handled, but we'll be getting on the road as soon as that is fixed.
Jenny: if it wasn't for the "move it you cocksucker": I would probably be in trouble for ramming cars ;)
It helps me to imagine that some spot on the windshield is a gun or missile targeting sight ... until I get the real thing installed. For now, I just line up the spot on the deserving offender and make the explosion noise. That, and the proper medication, work pretty well for me.
And when I first read #5, I saw the third word as "flatuate" (a little too much "medicine") and was immediately astounded that any one person could carry that much gas around. But then I quickly realized my mistake and continued on. (I think "flatuate" would be funnier, though.)
I'm also a big proponent of natural remedies. Tequila is one of my favorite natural remedies.
I like mother fucker when I have the car and that isnt often and when I am with hubby he just gets irritated with my swearing at cars that cant hear me anyway.
Computers on the other hand I have never put one together so I dont know.
I can say and will say that growing up in a house where your mom didnt clean up after the dog after he shit on the floor my nose picks up that stuff real good when I notice it. Either cat piss or dog. It doesnt matter. It bothers me till I get away from it or get it cleaned.
I love being hugged. It its second nature to me.
My weight hasnt changed much in the last three years since we had Brianna. Probably a few pounds either way but not a real big change.
I can't stand to be touched either! It is a strict rule. I mean Adam can and my nephews but nobody else.
You are really tall right? Is that how you cover up the weight?
High cholesterol?
Other than fish oil, cinnamon pills and eating oatmeal, I mean. (Those are things I am doing.)
Anything to avoid taking the damn pharmacutical nightmare manufactured cholesterol meds.
I'm open to suggestions....
I prefer "MOVE IT.....COCKSUCKIN' MOTHERFUCKER"
Did I mention I suffer from accute road rage?
2: I get really pissed off with useless drivers too!! I don't mind the one's who make genuine mistakes and look sheepish about it.
3: Glad to hear it's OK for your immediate family - that would be awkward to say the least...... ;)
4: I have a pretty sensitive nose too - and I HATE yucky smells!!!
Interesting facts.....=)
I grew up not being touched and to this day I cannot stand people getting close or putting their hands on me. It takes all of my will power not to be rude about it.
That's too bad, I grew up not being touched also, but I like to touch and be touched, that is what this physical world is all about.
jami: I used to use my hood ornament as a gunsght and yeah tequila kills whatever is in ya.
tweety my parents were the same way about dog poop. I had lots of nasty surprised back then
carrie: Tall Broad shouldered I don't gain it all in one place it spreads out evenly
marianne: the omega fish oil is the best and stay away from margarines.
tysgirl: same here!
kb: I give them a chance to take culpability then I get pissed. Yeah my kids get lots of hugs they need em.
BBC: It's got to be a trusted person for me to feel comfortable with it.
Lol at ChooChoo's comment!
I quit my last job because of teh commute (so many idiots) & work less than 3 miles from home now and I still cuss. Lol.
At least you don't yell out "MOVE IT... YOU FUCKTARD!"
HEHEHE I'm just sayin...Sorry couldn't resist..Hope you are having a faboo trip to Disney's land of the Insane! Now cumere and give Granny Cheese a hug~~~
Since my last back surgery, I have phantom smells almost all day. I never know if what I'm smelling is really there. I'm always whispering to Lovely Wife, "Do you smell xxxx?" I've since become a freak about showering, deodorant, powder, and after shave each and every day.
Hope the Disney thang goes well.
Hammer, I don't like people laying their paws on me either. I like a 3 ft bubble surrounding me at all times. I don't like sitting next to other people, especially in restaraunts.
The last g/f thought this was hilarious, but I just don't like to be touched. I don't so much mind attractive females, but family members (i.e- aunts, etc.)- I don't like physical contact. It just gives me the willies.
Doesn't sound weird to me at all. I don't like people standing too close to me either or touching me. We weren't a touchy-feely family so that may have something to do with it.
OMG-I have a crazy nose too! And I know what you mean by it being a blessing and a cure!
lol #2 reminds me of my hubby. That man has SUCH road rage that sometimes it really scares me. Guess it all works out cause I love him still..lol.
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