Big week sorry for lack of posts

I haven't been blogging this week as you may have noticed.

Just a mild case of burnout.

Oldest daughter had another dental surgery yesterday, another 5 teeth extracted. The Dentist says he's playing musical chairs trying to make room for her adult teeth,

My son got a new set of braces and changed ADHD medications this week he's doing ok but seems a bit disconcerted and moody.

Seems I'm allergic to certain people now. Every time I go out in public and a person gets near me, my eyes swell up and I start coughing and sneezing. I really don't like people to begin with so it's really not surprising that they make me physically ill as well.

Easter was interesting. The whole family was there at my mother in laws acting normal. I'm not angry at them anymore, but now there is a role reversal. My wife can't stand her family and I'm actually not bothered by them. Can't say I'm surprised, after being estranged from her siblings for 3 years she has figured that she doesn't need them.

I'm trying to get out of my blogging funk so bear with me.

Here's a funny

Back and a video

Can't wait to catch up with everyone.

Taking off

The wife was able to take off for spring break so we decided to take a short trip out to the country and maybe visit some relatives. See you all when I get back.

Have a good spring break!

Busy weekend but a quick funny

This week

My son is off on a 3 day school field trip at a ranch a few counties over. This is his first time away and I can't help but worry about him. They are staying in cabins, doing hiking, boating and other fun stuff. I'm sure he's fine but I'm used to being there telling him to brush his teeth, help find his socks and tell him to stop goofing off.

Oh well.

My finger is healing up nicely. Duct tape and goldenseal powder work wonders for sealing up wounds. I'm still reluctant to unwrap it and look at the damage.

I walked outside this morning to put the trashcans on the curb and there was some lady standing in the middle of my front yard letting her golden retriever take a huge dump right there under the tree where my kids play.

It took a second for it to fully register but I saw the woman's eyes go wide when I caught her.

My first reaction was completely automatic. I yelled " What in the fucking hell do you think you are doing?!!!" I may have said bitch, I'm not sure. The dog froze in mid bowel movement and sucked the turd back into his ass. His owner took off at a high rate of speed in the opposite direction without saying a word. I know she lives right at the end of the cul-de-sac.

Maybe now I won't keep stepping on loose moose diarrea when I walk in my own yard.

I've got a couple memes to do. I'll probably get on those tomorrow.

An award

Random moments awarded me the:

I guess all those loldogs and locats videos finally paid off ;)

Thank you!

How much would you give?

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago. Nothing
is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the
hold up?'

'Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Rosie O'Donnell, Jesse
Jackson, and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10 million ransom.
Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on
fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.'

The driver asks, 'On average, how much is everyone giving?'

'About 3 gallons.'


.............................................................................................................

Almost seven years ago I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as our government underwent a peaceful transition of power. At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism as I watched George W. Bush take his oath of office.

However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched the Clintons board Air Force One for the last time. I saw 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the outgoing president and first lady.

It was then that I realized how far America's military had deteriorated under the Clinton administration.

Every last one of them missed.

Kid stuff

I'm having to talk to my son about the birds and the bees. Apparently he has a crush on some girl at school and is confused about his feelings. I was worried when he said he was having dreams about her but they turned out to be more chivalrous than horny.

I've never been comfortable talking about sex, it's just my upbringing I guess. It was never talked about in the home when I was growing up and my parents kept their diddling a well guarded secret. (Thank god.)

So anyway, my kid asks me if I ever had a crush on a girl when I was his age (11). I thought back to the 5th grade and responded honestly:

"Son, when I was in the fifth grade girls were mean as hell, the prettier they were, the more they tried to humilate me. Women are nothing but trouble boy. Keep away from them if you know what's good for you.

This answer did not satisfy him. So we started hashing it out:

Kid: But daaad! "What if I really like this girl?'

Me: Son, "do you know why boys like girls?"

Kid: "Cause if they liked boys they'd be fruity?"

Me: "Where'd you hear that?"

Kid: "From you"

Me: "Oh, well nevermind that. Boys like girls because it's nature's way of propagating the species"

Kid: "You mean babies? Ewww. How does that work?"

Me: "You see Marvin outside always jumping on Chula trying to use his red rocket on her?"

Kid: "That's gross!"

Me: That's what mating rituals boil down to. So forget about girls for the time being. You don't have any business farting around with romantic notions at your age.

Kid: So what am I supposed to do then?

Me: What is it exactly that you want from this girl?

Kid: For her to be my friend I guess like girlfriend or something.

Me: What the hell are you going to do with a girlfriend? Do you have any idea the amount of responsibility that entails?

Kid: Uh no... Like what.

Me: You've got to buy her things, spend your free time with her, compromise, do things you don't like to appease her and give up your friends that she doesn't like.

Kid: Hmmm I never thought of that.

Me: What's wrong with just being friends with her?

Kid: Because lots of boys in the 5th grade want to be her friend and I don't like it.

Me: Don't torture yourself, you have the rest of your life to do that.

Kid: Dad, if you are like this, how did you ever meet mom?

Me: Ask me when you're older.

I've got some 'WTF"s

I was listening to NPR the other day. They were interviewing people living in Mexican border towns asking them what they thought about the American presidential elections.

This one Mexican citizen stated that this election is so important to Mexican workers because it will affect their ability to cross the border and work undocumented in the U.S. She also stated how it was very unfair that Mexico had no say in the Presidential elections.

The NPR interviewer agreed that it sounded unfair as well.

For a second I thought it was a parody or comedy sketch. How can people be so insanely stupid?

Oh yeah lets let Mexicans vote themselves a free ride and dual citizenship with all the perks...that's the ticket... Oh I know! Lets just give the Southern U.S back to Mexico and let them turn it into a corrupt third world shithole like they are accustomed to.

These idiots make my head hurt.

Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, speaking to a local Iowa radio station, said that terrorists would dance in the streets if Sen. Barak Obama, D-Illinois, is elected president...

Well no shit! Obama has promised to immediately pull all the troops out of Iraq and start negotiations with regimes that fund and encourage terrorism. Regardless of what people say, those idiot terrorist ragheads will believe that Barak Hussein Obama will be their knight in shining armor

... and with Obama's dismal voting record on national security.He may very well be. His campaign offices have posters of Che' Guevara on the walls for Chissakes.

All these school shootings. For crying out loud!

When will people get it through their head that "Gun free zones do not apply to crazy mother fuckers who want to go out in a blaze of glory and take a bunch of unarmed sheep with them.

Gun control will not solve this problem. Letting people have a viable means of self defense in all public places is the only answer.

There have been at least 4 potential massacres stopped by armed students and concealed weapon permit holders in the last few years.

We already tried banning guns on campus See what that got us?

Passing another gun control law is just going to keep honest law abiding people defenseless. The criminals and crazies will never give up their guns! They don't give a rats ass about the laws of our society.

Criminal: "someone who does not obey or respect laws" It's not that difficult a concept.

Think about it this way. You live on a nice quiet residential street with a speed limit of 30 miles per hour. All night long, gangs of kids drag race down your street at ungodly speeds. If we used the logic of gun control advocates their solution would be to lower the speed limit to 20.

I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Pipes

One of the things I inherited from my Grandmother's passing was a box of pipes that had belonged to my Grandfather. From what I remember, he always had a pipe at hand. Curiously, he kept a pipe and a small case containing of tobacco in his back pocket at all times.

He passed away nearly 20 years ago but most of his personal effects were never touched.

Per request by Alandp, here is a pic of the pipes and the box he kept them in.

Morning in a den of thieves

I've been putting off getting my brakes done for a while now. I took a couple of trips through the mountains of Arizona and New Mexico and had worn the pads down quite a bit.

So right after dropping the kids off at school I went up to the local brake check and braced myself for the hard sell.

I usually do my own brakes but since I have a sloping driveway and my jack doesn't lift the truck high enough to use my jack stands I don't want to risk having the damn car fall on me.

Anyway, I walked in and told them I wanted front brake pads and that's it.

Of course, they pull the tires off and brake nerd starts trying to tell me I need my rotors turned.

He was so full of shit that his eyes turned brown. I refused, telling him the rotors were fine and that I've worked on cars all my life.

The cheeky bastard wouldn't give up. He kept telling me that I was going to ruin my Anti-lock brakes and the car would shake itself to pieces if I didn't take his advice.

I repeated "No thank you" He said "well I'll have to clear this with my boss since you want to continue with this dangerous situation."

The rotor surfaces were very smooth but I knew they were counting on me being an ignorant fuck and falling for their scare tactics.

I sat down in the waiting room with my coffee and a book but I really couldn't enjoy it because the shop manager and brake nerd were busy screwing over this poor lady telling her that umpteen things were wrong with her car.

Funny thing was, when they told her she needed new brakes, she pulled out a receipt showing that they had just replaced them a month earlier. Turns out they lied and never fixed them then forgot. BUSTED! I was laughing a little when the crooks tried to blame it on a computer error.

I used to try to give people advice in these situations but I found out long ago that people don't appreciate it when I try to save them from being screwed; Plus I'd be denying them the opportunity to learn from their own experiences.

Finally, they pulled my truck around and I visually inspected each wheel to make sure they actually put brake pads on my vehicle. Brake nerd starts going on about the brakes grabbing and how I should be careful because I didn't take his advice. I had to laugh. The brakes were as smooth as silk. I called him on his shit and he knew it.

I've learned to never take a repair person of any type at their word. You have to check their story, watch every move they make and ask lots of questions. Evaluate a persons handshake and eye contact (or lack of it) before you do any business with them.

The world is filled with fucking thieves whether they wear a ski mask, a business suit or greasy overalls.

Watch out for these assholes or they'll get you too.

Letters from Vietnam

My dad called me over to give me the stuff that he had collected from Grandma. Mostly Grandpa's medals his tobacco pipes, pictures and other various stuff.

Digging through the boxes I found a few old Vietnam letters That my dad had sent to his family during his time overseas.

I picked one to post here:

Nov 8 1967

Dear Big Brother:

How are you?

In your letter you asked if I was mad at you. If I was mad at you I would tell you about it. I don't mess around. I lost the knife you sent me while I was crawling on the ground in a fire fight.

I found a bayonet yesterday. A dead or wounded GI left it on a trail. I'll give it to you when I get home if you want it. It was too bad that the old guy didn't do the work on the Model A. If you can get the blue prints for the wood take them to a cabinet shop and find out how much they cost to make.

Answers to your questions:

The time difference is 11 or 12 hours. It's probably night over here when it's light at home. When the sky is clear it is full of stars, a lot more than at home.

Yes I heard about the big battle around where I was..I was in it

I did know that Mr Doug used to be a boxer

I've never seen a turkey here. Thanksgiving will be like any other day.

I sleep under the stars in the boonies usually in a hammock.

I haven't been in a building since I went to a special forces aid station at Dak Pek about four months ago. It sounds like you think I've been getting over. We don't sleep in tents. During the monsoon season we put two ponchos together to keep dry.

We get mortared about every five minutes so we sleep in a foxhole.

Why don't you hurry and send that knife, he will probably leave Vietnam before he gets it or I could give him his money back.

Yes I would like to have some peanuts.

I'd rather have some good comics and maybe some playboys. The other Playboys you sent are all full of shrapnel holes. I can still read them though. You should see what ACO did to a dead gook. they hung him upside down from this tree, stuck an empty plasma bottle in his leg and put a 173'rd patch in his hand.

These new M16's were ready to be issued to us last night. I remember mom sent us a piece in the paper about this. We didn't get them though, be cause we didn't have a place to zero them in.

I never use the sights anyway, they are usually so close you don't need sights and besides you can't see them.

The new M16 has 87 improvements. the only one that shows is the new flash suppressor and it's a pound an a half lighter.

Well take it easy brother.

Yours truly.

I couldn't resist.

Small mishap

I was moving brush and debris at my dad's house and ended up ripping off the fingernail on my right index finger and spraining my thumb. Typing isn't going too well, so posting will be light.

I'll be reading everyones blogs but not saying much :)

Here's a lolcats: