7 things
Tweety tagged me to write 7 things about myself. I'll try not to repeat things I've said before.
1. When faced with difficult and painful things in life I prefer to suffer in silence. There really isn't anyone who can help me so I figure why should I bring people down.
2. I'm torn between being disgusted by the way some people conduct themselves and live their lives and following my live and let live philosophy.
3. I get embarrassed around people who argue, fuss and raise hell. My first instinct is to get the hell away from the situation. Many people do not understand my reaction at all and consider it weird.
4. I do not forgive easily. In fact almost never. I may act like I have forgotten about a serious transgression but whenever I'm around that person it's all I can think about. I don't seek revenge, retribution or anything I just never trust them again with anything important.
5. The only thing I hate worse than cruel evil people are those who sit back, do nothing and pretend something bad is not happening. If I see some wrongdoing taking place, I act immediately. Failure to act and living to regret it is a fate worse than death.
6. I sometimes have a problem telling if someone is lying to me or not. I usually assume the best but take most things with a grain of salt and bide my time until they contradict themselves at a later date. Once someone starts lying consistently I innocently throw previous tidbits back at them to gauge their reaction.
7. Pretty much anyone I consider a friend is in the blog world now. I'm pretty much disgusted with everyone I know personally outside of my immediate nuclear family. I'm thankful for all you nice folks who open your lives on your blogs and come by to visit and comment on mine.
posted by Bill Rowland @ October 10, 2007
41 Comments
41 Comments:
I suppose it's hard to like people when you can see all their faults. That's what makes blogger friends more appealing. You only see what they want you to see.
"3. I get embarrassed around people who argue, fuss and raise hell. My first instinct is to get the hell away from the situation"
I am the opposite. I love to get into a heated debate.
But, forgiveness... isn't exactly in my vocabulary either.
You sound pretty normal to me. I think most of us feel those sorts of things.
I wanted to note that in fact that you do forgive. You stated it yourself, that you don't seek retribution... that is in essence the basis of forgiveness, to renounce anger. Your reaction to not trust as much after, is totally warranted. That is the difference between the two, trust is earned, forgiveness is given.
I feel the same way as you about your answers, it's tough being so black and white and at times I wish I could function in the grey zone a little. Good answers and great reading.
There's a lot there I can relate to, but none more than #7. Best group of folks I've hung with in a long, long time. You take care man.
We're the better for you, Hammer. Thank you for sharing yourself, and your family, with us all.
Veritas et Fidelis Semper
P.S. We have so much in common it's eerie...but in a good way.
It's hard not to be judgmental when something seriously turns us off or digusts us. I, too, believe people should live and let live, but sometimes it's important to speak up.
I can forgive but not forget. You'd be a fool to forget.
It was good to learn more about you. I like the way you think.
#3 - I have to walk away from my husband sometimes when he starts making a fuss. Our son has picked up the baton too. His girlfriend walks away too now. Thing is - he hates when folks do it to him! He can't see the similarity.
#4 - I'm not sure you're not forgiving - not trusting is different. You are wary for a reason. It would be stupid to knowingly trust someone with something they can't be trusted with.
#7 We like you too.
trusting and forgiving aren't easy for me either...I think your list was great.
YOU ROCK HAMMER!!!
I can relate to most all of what you've written here...
Not only do I find it hard to forgive, but I end up being pissed at myself for harboring resentment and grudges...it just flat out makes me feel bad, but I know it's not my fault, so I just deal.
Re: "Pretty much anyone I consider a friend is in the blog world now...I'm thankful for all you nice folks who open your lives on your blogs and come by to visit and comment on mine."
I've definitely hit the mark where I know I have more friends via blogging, than I so, say, regular in person social interaction...it's hard for that not to happen.
Hammer, you're a really sweet guy...I consider you a friend, too, even though we hardly got to talk...you're a decent guy with good, honorable values...I'm proud that you're my friend.
:-)
[/That was so gross / sappy / mushy...sorry, but, it's how I feel.]
Wow, Hammer! who would have thought we are so much alike? I feel the same as you on almost every point, and suffer the same frustrations. Hmmm...that in itself is food for thought!
Bloggy friends are best! ;0)
You and I have a few things in common... Number four for example.
lexcen: if only people could be so discrete in person.
meleah: A good discussion is fine but when it gets too personal I'm out.
b: I never thought of it that way. I guess I do forgive conditionally.
rach: I used to go for shades of grey but always got burned.
FHB: Same here and I hope to meet you guys at a future blog meet.
Deborah: I'm glad to hear I'm in good company.
Scarlet: thanks. forgive but not forget. There's a fine line there.
Jeannie: People have their own levels of drama tolerance. Mine is quite low.
canadian: Thanks. Trust is earned. Everytime.
Kevin: glad to hear I'm in good company :)
Erica: I feel bad too about grudges but getting burned over and over makes one shy on forgiveness. thanks for your kind words. I'm sure we'll get to talk more at the next meetup.
Kuckie: thanks! I think that having blog friends are bringing back the lost art of letter writing. Or something to that effect.
I love how you really revealed yourself in this one. I'm with you on 3 and 7, 100%!
I'm so with you on number 4 and 7. That is me. lol
I used to work with a compulsive liar. She told some whoppers. We used to sit back and laugh. She was constantly back-pedaling and I could never understand how someone could be so dishonest.
I'm afraid I easily trust... Well until I get burnt. After that I just don't let them rent space in my head. I don't like drama and life is too sweet to be saddled with hurtful souls. I too think the world of most of my blogger buddies. I've learned much and laughed excessively!
kewl site Hammer!..and thanks for sharin about yourself..how brave!:)
#2 - people wrongly think tolerance = acceptance of differing views and lifestyles. You can live and let live while still teaching your kids that we may not be able to admonish them, but still let's not be like them sickos.
#3 - I also dread the drama queens and kings. If I did the sweat equity and due diligence to come to a conclusion, I'll debate the facts and stand my ground. But to argue emotions and be part of back fence conversations like "did you see what Sue wore to the party?" is not me. Of course this has made me Father Confessor to the world, which is fine, because since I don't really care about the sordid crap that people confide in me about, it doesn't burn a hole in me not to share the tidbits.
#4 - some people fight each other forever. I have a large reservoir of goodwill, so I have a high forgiveness threshold for the odd bad moment. But when they establish a pattern of mistreatment, and I finally make the decision to break away from the person, it is permanent, and for life. With DNA evidence and surveillance cameras nowadays, retribution isn't the option it once was. So I'll just have to deal with banishment in my survival toolbox.
"I'm thankful for all you nice folks who open your lives on your blogs and come by to visit and comment on mine."
Same to you, Hammer.
Yeah, most of my friends are bloggers, too. Salt of the earth, those bloggers!
Bloggers are your friends (and mine) because we don't have to see them everyday and interact with them enough in order to feel that way about them...
I agree with most of your statements...except the forgiveness part....I forgive and forget.(in some cases)..if not it only makes me sick. (Forgivenss implies forgetting a thing happened, it's a very difficult thing to do).
Peace
#7 all the way. I don't always comment a lot but I read all of my blogroll. It's the best company anyone could ask for.
I really hear you on these, especially number 6. I have trouble figuring anything out about whether someone's lying to me, using me, or doing anything else like that.
Good list, by the way.
Thanks one thousand times and more for number seven. Kitem means lovya.
Hammer,
Your Blog Rocks! I am glad to be a part of it and to be able to contribute to it regularly. You would be surprised at how many of us share your exact same sentiments.
Flyinfox_SATX
I'm like you with #6. People get the benefit of the doubt with me. But if they turn out to be liars, or otherwise not what I consider nice, that's it.
Hammer I believe that statement #5 gives you Boonedock Sainthood
We think so much alike. It's eerie.
I like your answers. #7 I suppose I'm there too at this point.
Wow, Hammer, I feel the same as #7.
I don't really make friends easily. I can count on my ten fingers all of the really good ones I've had in my life.
That's where blogging is SO strange and so wonderful at the same time. I think about all of these people that I've never actually met, and I pray for them and their families and on one level it seems strange, but the friendships are real to me.
I can't tell you how many times I've almost quit blogging because of health issues and the time it takes. But a few days away, and I miss the gentle give and take of my blog pals.
Last night, Lovely Wife came into the room where I was photoshopping some photos. She asked who that was in the picture. It was one of a set of 10 or so sent to me by a blog friend in Minnesota who asked if I could try to improve these old pictures for her.
It was my pleasure, and my wife got a kick out of seeing these stranger's family photos, and how I could make them look better.
Family is everything. Anything else is a bonus.
Cheers
I have a hard time with number 3 also. I hate being around other people when they start fighting or yelling at eachother.
I forgive but it takes a very long time to do so. It hurts but its the way I am.
I'm TOTALLY with you on 5,6, and 7!
I won't tolerate a liar! I always give people the benefit of the doubt when I first meet them, but if they lie to me I'm done with them.
We live in a dying town, so all of our friends, except for the liars and sleazes we've cut out of our lives, have left for greener pastures. I LOVE being able to converse with intelligent people on their blogs! The blog world has made my world a lot less lonely.
terri: I don't reveal much but I don't mind on this kind of stuff.
burfica: 7 seems to be pretty popular :)
schmoopie: I think lying is like an addiction. Once they start they can't stop.
cheesy: you're right. Life is too short to spend it with bad people.
womanhonor: Thanks and I appreciate you visiting the blog.
#2 is a fine line. Showing the kids tolerance and at the same time teaching them not to ever do it can get confusing for them.
on 4 I totally see your point Revenge is something that is difficult to achieve without messing up the natural order of things.
AD: thanks!
LBB: I agree. Maybe even pepper too ;)
Odat: I'm still stuggling to come to terms with forgiveness. Maybe it can be earned back, but no one has ever tried so I wouldn't know :)
jp: that's a good way to put it.
Drew: Yeah blatant liars that do it for no good reason are the ones that irk me the most.
Kitem: Thank you :)
Flyinfox: thanks and right back at ya. It's cool when we do similar themes without confering.
Janet: It's hard investing in a relationship and finding out that someone is like that. It's a real bummer.
fyreman doug: Hehe I never thought of that. Great movie :)
marianne: I'm in good company it seems :)
Jenfear: It's funny how that works out but I'm getting used to it :)
JAM: I hear ya. sometimes it's tough for me to log in and devote the time but like you I miss the folks I read about.
Maddy: so true!
Tweety: I get embarassed easily. I don't even like watching TV shows that are confrontational.
Tshsmom: Blogging does indeed fill the need for intelligent conversation and cuts the boredom too.
totally with you on 5...the people who sit back are the ones who allow the cruel evil ones to succeed!
and 6...I like to set them up too...
We got your back, Hammer.
I'm all over #6, too. I didn't know it, but I do the same thing.
10 to 1 6 leads to 7. It's amazing the things you find out about your "friends."
Uh-oh. I think I feel a post coming up...
tweaker
Several of your seven things I could have written about my ownself. I like a peaceful, harmonious environment, too, and although I'm an animated, excitable person, I don't understand people who become enraged and rail at other people. One good thing is that with my current job, I have HAD to learn to stand up to that crap and calmly talk assholes down from the ledge. However, the world would be a better place if a few of those bastards actually jumped! I don't want to be around that kind of negative nastiness.
Holy crud man, you sound like me. Especially 2,4 and 5. oh yeah, and 6 and the raising hell one. Heck, I ended a friendship because the woman caused a scene at Haagan Daz when she didn't get as much ice cream as I did on my cone- I felt it was ridiculous to argue over such a point to teenage lackeys who just use their scoop.
Thanks for the insight. You inspire me. I figured you to be in construction with a moniker like that.
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