Pissed off
I haven't been blogging and visiting normally the last several days if you haven't already noticed.
My wife finally got her vacation, which is good. We enjoyed the week and I took care of everything so she wouldn't have to spend her time off doing menial bullshit.
On Friday, I got a call from the special education teacher that is helping my son with his ADHD and my daughter with her speech problems. She informed us that the reading teacher was refusing to allow my daughter into her class, her excuse being that my daughter read too well to be allowed special help. If you remember, her last teacher tried to fail her and assured us she would fail any subsequent grades from then on.
We insisted my daughter be promoted and get special help. The IEP (Education plan) they came up with required speech therapy, special reading help and one on one tutoring from time to time.
Armed with this information we contacted her teacher and the principal and asked them why they were not allowing my daughter the services they had promised to provide. The principal called back and apologized and said she would get it fixed.
We got another call from the special ed teacher telling us that the reading teacher had gone above everyones head and contacted the school district and informed them of a loophole in the my daughter's education plan and informed them that she was not required to teach my daughter.
I don't know what this fucking teacher's problem is but she seems dead set on not doing her job.
We have to go set up another plan this morning with the school in order to force this teacher to do her fucking job. I'm ready for a fight.
To make matters worse, My friend Gary came over Friday night so he could attend my nieces birthday party the next day. We sat around, had a couple of beers, watched TV and everyone went to sleep about 11:00PM.
I woke up at 5:00am and I thought someone had left a loud TV on. There were loud voices coming from my office. I groggily walked in and there was Gary at my computer playing a video game drunk off his ass and yelling at the screen. Apparently he woke up as soon as I went to bed, stayed up all night and drank all the beer in my fridge.
I told Gary to keep his voice down and to stop yelling obscenities. He got argumentative and belligerent with me. Telling me I was full of shit and he didn't do nothin. I walked out and tried to go back to sleep when he started yelling again. This time he woke the whole house up.
I was livid. I walked in and told Gary to shut the fuck up, lay on the couch and sleep it off.
He got pissed off and said he was just going to leave.
No matter how pissed off I was I wasn't going to let him drive in that condition. He isn't normally that belligerent but when he gets enough booze in him he turns into the biggest asshole on the planet. I took his keys and told him to sleep it off. I blocked the door and he started yelling even louder for me to get the fuck out of his way and give him his keys.
He finally pushed his way outside and I was considering hog tying him but thought better of it.
I was more worried about the neighbors calling the police. I had the keys, but Gary got into his unlocked his truck and passed out.
I was about as pissed off and I've ever been at this drunk asshole. So I went inside to fume for a while. When I finally looked outside I saw that Gary had used a spare key and had driven off.
I just prayed that he wasn't going to kill himself or anyone else.
At about 6:00am I got a call, it was Gary yelling "help! help! then the phone went dead.
I had no idea what happened but I decided to let him figure this one out on his own.
I think I'm done with Gary. I cannot have this kind of bullshit around my family.
Anyways, I'll be around to visit everyone later today after my school meeting.
posted by Bill Rowland @ October 01, 2007
49 Comments
49 Comments:
OMG - Gary - what an asshole, indeed! I hope he's ok, but it's not your fault/responsibility when a grown man has no self-control like that. Sheesh! No, you can't have that around your family.
And that teacher not doing her job? What an absolute cunt! She needs to be fired forthwith. Infuriating. If you don't want to do the work, don't take the job, fucking bitches. Otherwise, STFU.
Poor poor Hammer, what a bad end of week you've had. Let's hope everything is going to get better, and that stupid teacher will do her job, and not decide by herself what to do or not to do. Let Gary live his life of booze and try to avoid him as much as you can, you're right, you can't afford to let him around.
Good luck trying to get anyone who is determined to be a piece of shit motivated to do their job! As for Gary...I washed my hands of every friend I had who still hasn't learned to stop drinking. At what point in a persons life does he realize what a waste of life it is to sit around the house drunk? Hell with him. If he hurt himself, serves him right. If he hurt anyone else, hope his conscience eats him alive. I really have had it with drunks.
Real life is a pain in the neck sometimes. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you meeting.
Best wishes
I am sorry to hear about that special ed teacher... There is NOTHING special about her at all. Maybe you should demand a different teacher sonce I wouldn't have any confidence that she would do a proper job even if she was forced to be your child's special ed contact.
All the best... Keep us informed.. thanks!
My understanding of IEP's is that they are a binding contract between the school and the parents as to what will be provided in order to reach specific goals. I know the ones my wife did for our son hd to be signed by all parties who participated in forming the plan. If the teacher wanted input into the IEP, she should have participated in the procedure. Otherwise, shutup and follow the IEP your superiors planned.
I was so happy when my youngest graduated and I don't have to deal with schools anymore.
Of course my wife still deals with the morons working for the County Board of MRDD since my son goes to one of their workshops. For people paid to work with the handicapped, those people are fucking clueless!
yeah time to wash your hands of him. He has dug his own hole. let him worry about how to get out.
Gary's drunken rages are entirely too much for you to deal with, especially with the hateful teacher stress.
Toxic friends need to be kicked to the curb. Definitely backing you on that one!
I hope things get better soon.
think of your children in this matter. they'll remember.
we thankfully blame our children for our sanity.
Sorry you're having to deal with all of that.
I can only say, that your kids and wife are about the only things worth fighting for these days. Best of luck on getting things straightened out.
I call them kind of days, "Charles Dickens Days" from A Tale of Two Cities. It begins, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
He should have just smoked two joints.
Holy Crap!
Wonder if Gary wrapped himself around a tree somewhere...idiot.
I have a friend who has refused to ever get a driver's licence because she likes to drink and knows she would drive drunk. I'm not sure if she's smart or not...
And I do have to wonder what's up with that teacher - geez! Obviously doesn't like parents to get in her face does she? Bitch. All the best with that. I would very carefully ask your daughter about the extra help when she gets it to make sure that the teacher isn't doing anything to sabatage or hurt your daughter.
Hammer,
very frustarting about the school. hope that you get it straightened out, and all works out well for your daughter.
I hope that Gary has not hurt himself or anyone else. Nonetheless, it is a good decision to be done with him. Alcoholics drag everyone down into their drama.
Loving Annie
Hammer I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time with the school system. That is terrbile. And now this Gary I would have called the police as soon as I noticed his truck gone and gave them his plate number. That is just wrong for some one to do while at anothers house.
Har! I just came over here from dorky dad's blog and this, this! is what I am greeted with?
I don't know who this Gary is, but it sounds like you have reached a pretty good assesment of his character.
Well, hi an' everything!
Jesus... nothing worse than a belligerent drunk. You should contact him again only to have him replace all the beer that he drank. :)
Best of luck with the school meetings!!
Aren't you glad you didn't take Gary to raise? With him as a friend you don't need any enemies.
Good luck with the school.
Hammer,
Take a deep breath and know that you are more focused when you are calm.
As far as Gary is concerned, get him the same shirt for Christmas I got my dad (who deserved it by the way) It said:
"Instant Asshole, just add alcohol."
Flyinfox_SATX
Unbelievable. Yep, your buddy is a tool, and so's that teacher. Damn, I hope it all works itself out. Take care of yourself.
Dear Hammer, I so completely understand how shitty it is to deal with a school system that doesn't give a crap. My daughter has ADD and my son has severe ADHD and it has been a struggle from start to finish. Every year brings new battles...new dilemas..and stupid teachers that make me scream at them before they take any kind of action at all..
Hang in there buddy and know you are not alone..
Too bad about Gary.... I have a couple of alcoholics in my family and it's difficult to see them like that.
A friend who has no self-control shouldn't be in your life or your family's life. If he would had killed someone when he drove off , believe it or not, a lawyer can go after you and sue you for allowing a friend get so drunk while he was visiting your home. It's crazy I know but true! If your freind doesn't care for his own health and safety why should you?
I hope when that teacher's review comes around, the principal will reflect this bullshit in it. People like this particular teacher do NOT belong in this profession. This is truly sad. Good luck to you on this. Get some good representation and kick some ass.
On Gary...I have a friend like that too. I finally had to quit going to the bars with her. She would mysteriously disappear and I was left to track her down, and most times go pick her up.
Her marriage finally fell apart and the last time I went to the bar with her, she was coming on to a guy who was so totally NOT interested. I dragged her home and we pulled in my garage just in time to figure out that she left her purse at the bar.
She never got beligerant like Gary. She just got stupid. I love her. She's my best-friend. But we just don't go out drinking together anymore.
Good luck on both the school and Gary.
IEPs are a catch 22. My son's caseworker just informed us that one of the special ed teachers is trying to make sure that no kid who fails a class is allowed into a resource class (study hall for credit for kids with learning disabilities.) And I thought kids who were failing classes and had a LD were supposed to get this kind of help!
As far as Gary... he's making you choose between your friendship and what's best for your family. Don't let him.
Best of luck with what your going through.
WHEN are our schools gonna figure out that TEACHING the kids takes less time than all their stupid meetings?!
What a rotten time you've had of it, Hammer. Aren't teachers supposed to HELP kids? My nephew has ADHD...and gottreatment for it. Another friend of his family didn't,a nd the damage has been done to this guy. His life's a real mess.
Re Gary, well right on you did the right thing, have the right attitude.
Hang tough, Hammer.
If that was an anomoly, I can see overlooking Gary's idiocy. But it sounds routine, so he knows he can crap around, since there is no price to pay (losing your friendship) for his ridiculousness.
I can't stand people who wait to get drunk to be nasty. I'd rather be with a sober person who's nasty, for at least they're not hiding behind the alcohol as an excuse to amp it up, then say it was the alcohol talking. Sorry, in vino, veritas.
He's getting a fortune of goodwill from you in the friendship. What's your return on investment? Go be an ass at his house one day, and you'll see how little he'd tolerate you. That will tell you all you need to know. If he's ok about it and lets you carry on, then he just has wide boundaries and doesn't know better, and fair's fair. If he's strict with you, then he's taking advantage of your tolerance, and who you think is a friend is a bully instead.
Sorry to hear that your daughter's teacher sucks, that's one of the reasons I'm a big fan of merit pay for teachers, so lazy assholes like her will get fired quickly. As for Gary, you did the right thing by trying to keep him from driving, it sounds like he might've been arrested. For some reason, it's the cool thing to call someone while a cop has pulled you over or is trying to arrest you.
I hope your meeting goes well and your daughter gets the help she needs. The special reading teacher sounds like a bit of a dick.
Gary sounds totally disrespectful - No more alcohol around your house for him I'm thinking!
hope the situation with the reading teacher works out in your daughter's favor. That's a weird one.
You did what you could with Gary, how were you to know he had a spare key?
I'd like to know what happened to him.
Good luck with that bitch teacher, Hams. Unfortunately she's got the union behind her, which doesn't help in the least. Go to the school board. Parents actually have more power than they've been lead to believe. I hope and pray that your daughter gets the help that she needs (((Hugs)))
As far as Gary is concerned? Screw that. Your family comes first, and they don't need to be around it, and neither do you.
You, as a parent and as persistent as you are, can make things happen.
As for Gary, that guy needs some serious counseling.
Geez what a day.... tomorrow is on the way! [[[[ ham family ]]]]
Hey, don't knock crappy teachers... they keep me in work. Most of my students come to me because they need someone to fix the mess crappy teachers have made of their education.
BUT SERIOUSLY hope you get it sorted out ok.
HAMMER,
NOT ONE TO BLOW SMOKE TO A FRIEND.....Thoughts GOING UP FOR SCHOOL SITUATION..I hurt for you and the misus as Parents.
AS FOR THE OTHER- YOU'VE ALREADY DONE THE RIGHT THING- SADLY-
IT WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO BE PERMANENT AS FAR AS GARY STAYING AT THE HOUSE GOES!
PLEASE LET US KNOW HOW THAT TEACHER CAN EVEN KEEP HER JOB AND ESPECIALLY HOW EVERYTHING TURNS OUT!
HUGS FROM THIS END BRO! Been missing ya man!
JOHN
Geeze, and I thought I had a bad week....Hey...good luck with your children's "stuff"....I hope it all turns out to their best interests...
Peace
phlegmfatale: I agree totally. The teacher has no business in this job.
Kitem: Gary has a history of bad decisions, this time it hit too close to home for me to ignore.
JP: I've realized that most incidental bad things that happen to people have irresopnsible drinking as one of the ingredients.
maddy: thank you!
Dave: I agree totally, when I raised that point the principle assured me that she would see to it that the reading teacher did her job. We'll see if that makes a difference.
scarlet: this teacher problem is my pet project :)
Cheesy: Thanks I needed that :)
cathy: this teacher is supposed to be helping kids at risk and with disabilities. Its amazing that she has become a problem.
john: thanks man, you are right. It will most likely be peramanent.
The teacher knows how to use the system unfortunately.
odat: thanks, I could use the good thoughts :)
Dano: Your words are so true. Actually one of the teachers that is on our side told us to sue if they can't get it worked out.
burfica: It's funny, I came to peace with that in a heartbeat.
Random: I've been on this road for a while with nearly everyone kicked to the curb. You are correct.
nanc: Indeed, they are my only thought in most instances.
JAM: You're right. There is only a small handful that I need to worry about. I can't understand folks that don't see that.
Paul: That would have resulted a definite improvement in attitude, but then he would have emptied my fridge of food ;)
Jeannie: I imagined that gary did something stupid like that. But since he wasn't on the news I figure he's ok.
Annie: You're right, alcoholics are a drain on everyone until they get help.
Tweety: I thought about calling the police but I'm not sure what I could have told them. But I will for sure in the future.
Craig: Thanks for visiting, sorry you stopped by during one of my rants :)
allie: That cheap ass bastard! I'm glad I didn't buy any fancy stuff.
nickel: I practically raised him. He didn't turn out as good as my other kids.
flyinox: The shirt and the bumper sticker would be good.
FHB: thanks, I'm sure it will work out.
canadian: It seems it's just this one teacher that is jumping through hoops. the others told me on the sly that they hate her.
jenafear: I've got a family full of them and most are happy drunks. the exceptions I don't go around.
yoga gal: You know that was one of my big fears. I've learned my lesson!
marianne: I Hope the principal gives her a crqap review too.
Your friend sounds very much like people I've seen in bars. totally out of control.
terri: You're right and his lady is using the iep against us.
h2o: thanks :)
tshsmom: the school told me that have spent at least 100 man hours dealing with the bullshit this reading teacher caused.
bridget: So true, I've personally seen 3 lives ruined by untreated adhd.
mts: good point. I see how annoyed he gets in the rare instances when others are drunk and he is sober. I hope he cleans up his act.
Brandon that was my thought when he called me. At that point I could see him resisting arrest.
m: The teacher supposedly is loved by the children but hae by her peers. I hope that's the case.
Janet: I've got a phone full of messages from him but I'm in no mood to listen right now. I bet they are asking for bail money.
barista: damn straight. the longer I'm a parent the more I realize what is truely important.
Nobody could blame you for dumping Gary. Kids pay attention to everything and emulate what they see. But you know that...
I hope your meeting went well and asshole or not, I hope Gary is okay. Cheers, and dont let the bullshit get you down Hammer.
as twisted as it sounds, Gary sounds like a more important influence on your kids than that "teacher" you've been dealing with... give your kids the "Gary is the guy you don't want to end up like when you grow up" speech.
Good luck with the Special Ed teacher. And I'm just passing through - you are stop #4 on a blogging experiment (via Kate)
I appreciate you sharing what you're going through at your kids' school, Hammer. We have our IEP meeting on Thursday; I only wish the school measured progress the same ways that parents do.
the crossing of swords with difficult teachers is a part of being a parent.
tough about your friend...but he may very well be a necessary loss...at least for now.
I had to go to an out side private tutoring agency -the Tutoring Club, to get help with my daughter's reading. She was in a special class for "challenged" readers in 1st and 2nd grades. (she now in 3rd). Guess what? They identified correctly what she needed to learn and she after about 4 months reading at the 3rd grade level.
Maybe going to the special reading classes is NOT a good idea.
They really don't help the kids so much. The "experts" at my DD school just babysat the kids who were bored out of their skulls and hated being there.
The manager at the private tutoring place said, she had several children who for 4-5 attended special tutoring classed for reading, math etc and all did NOT improve. It took a small one on one class to identify the area of concern and then work on improving them. They also revisit to "learned" items often to make sure that they are retained. They saw what worked best with my DD and informed us how to help.
The money we spent was well worth it. All I can say is, we learned what government schools do best...
Wow! What a day/night! It's so annoying when people are OK sober and turn into a-holes when drunk. That really was an ugly experience Hammer - maybe he just doesn't come to YOUR house anymore? You could still go there, if you still want to give him the time of day.
And the teacher thing???? Hope it works out. (I'll be reading about it any minute!!)
SHEESH! I have been away from your blog lately....I am sorry about the dealings with the teachers! I know alot of folks who struggle to get what they need for their children. I have had to do a little of that with my daughter when she was in kindergarten but the teachers were great. Also, yeah, um, Gary needs to go.
I hope everything works out ok for you and your family, Hammer. None of you deserve this.
The teacher should be fired for not doing her job. Keep fighting it - don't ever give up.
As for Gary - he's not worth the aggravation. Your family comes first and this insensitive idiot should have more respect for you all.
Wait a minute...it's Marvin the sex deprived dog? And now he's stalking and killing squirrels and eating their eyeballs?
Seriously Hammer, I think the dog just needs to get laid.
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