It's time to grow a set and put on your big boy panties.

What is it with 40 year old children who are still afraid of disappointing their parents?

If by age forty you haven't established yourself as a complete loser fuckup or decently responsible self reliant adult then there is something seriously wrong.

I guess we can call it one foot in the nest syndrome. It must be like a frigging purgatory to be constantly afraid of what your parents might think about everything you say and do.

Worrying about what your parents think might be wise if you are still under their roof and not paying rent. However, If you are an adult, living on your own, married with kids and a job, cut the goddamn apron strings for chrissake!

For example, when I first got married, alcohol at family functions was not allowed. Their house their rules.

After a few years of this, we said screw it and had Christmas at our house complete with full bar. My father in law got drunk as hell and we all laughed and had a good time. My mother in law was aghast and gossiped to the whole family how awful we were.

From that point on, the genie was out of the bottle. Now we can drink at most family functions as long as the beverage is hidden in a plastic cup. It's like a wink wink nudge nudge rule. However don't ever set your cup down or the ever vigilant baptist patrol will dump a cup of single malt down the sink.

When we go see extended family, my wife's cousins are scared shitless of what their 65 year old mother might say if we tell poop and fart jokes over a can of light beer. They go hide behind the dumpster with their cigarettes and Budweiser like a bunch of teenagers.

Are they afraid that they will be grounded or not be allowed to move back home ?

I had to buy all the beer at the last family reunion because everyone was tap dancing around not wanting to be the one to go get it. Believe me, adult refreshment is desperately needed at these get togethers.

I'm not saying that I go to these family functions, get naked and dance with a lampshade on my head.

After the barbecue and the kids go off to bed, What is wrong with a little off color humor and an adult beverage? These are not the pathways to eternal damnation.

I know for a fact that these same people who are deathly afraid of mama seeing them with a beer used to snort coke off dead hookers.

Well maybe not that bad but you get my point.