Saturday musings
My son is a really good kid but as he approaches puberty, his smart ass comments are getting more and more irritating. I've jumped his shit several times but it seems he has no clue how inappropriate his comments are. I think he is genuinely sorry when I call him on it although it does keep happening. The worst part is when he contradicts me in front of people and then argues when I try to correct him. Arrrggh!
My youngest daughter doesn't seem to have any developmental delays or disabilities and I am grateful. Problem is, she is starting to pick on her older sister and saying hurtful things to her as a way to assert dominance. I hate to see this mean streak manifest itself. She is under the impression that if I didn't see her do it then it didn't happen. Wrong! I protect all my kids even from each other.
Tonight I'm going to barbecue some ribs and maybe some hotdogs. I always throw some vegetarian burgers on at the end for myself. Real meat takes skill to cook. Fake meat just needs basic thawing.
Speaking of fake meat, the makers of these meatless patties must think vegetarians have no taste buds. Some of the shit they put out there would gag a maggot. I've tried to write to the makers of garden burger, boca and morningstar but they don't seem to be interested in my opinions. Maybe if I write them again I should leave out phrases like "The smell of your food could knock a buzzard off a shit truck."
My mother sent the kids target gift cards in the mail. I guess that is supposed to make up for her never seeing her grandchildren. Maybe I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
I talked to my family in Missouri, they are staunch democrats and always have been. Except this year! Muahahahaha!
I can't help but laugh at all the conservative democrats that have been voting for elitists, socialists and traitors for all these years out of party loyalty. I think this time the Democratic party has gone too far and has totally lost touch with their base.
Enjoy your weekend everyone!
posted by Bill Rowland @ June 21, 2008
27 Comments
27 Comments:
I can't decide if it was more difficult when the kids were young and so dependent on me but didn't have opinions of their own, or if it's harder now that they're more self-sufficient but I find myself dealing with the hurtful remarks between all of them. I guess parenting is never easy.
Beautifully written as always.
He is just pushing the same envelope the Hammer has licked to be mailed-Yes? I understand about contradictions in front of others--that does not fly with me at all! Good luck on that one.
Veggie Burgers- you want them- so shut the fuck up-;-) they are an oxymoron and just because you want to take care of yourself, while I, after my Triple bypass continue to taunt Death a second time don't need to hear you whine about something as of little importance about-OH, say...The TASTE of food!
Vegetables manipulated into a patty deserve to taste bad or God would have made them all freaking flat!!! Tortilla vegetables! There ya go.
Enjoy your BBQ!
PS: I made an addendum to the Gun v Woman post and gave you full credit for the outstanding work!! Great job my friend.
What are you going to do about Daughters approach to other daughter. That I imagine is a tough one!
Have a great weekend Bro,
J
Boys will be boys you have to get used to smart ass... remember you are the one he can do it to because he loves you and he cant break that...
Well, I don't know about gardenburgers or staunch Democraps either. Maybe you can try a marinated portabello mushroom and put some of that Kitchen Bouquet on it. Too bad you can't eat your hot wings, those are pretty good, you know?
As for your kid, here's two solutions...
1. push-ups
2. giveth and taketh away. meaning, give him an allowance with the terms saying that if he talks back like that, it'll cost him a penalty fee.
Hi Hammer,
My mother had a great fix for talking back. Besides the belt of course. ( I know it's not politicly correct now). I have no idea how many times my mouth was washed out with soap.
Being mean and lying didn't wash in my house. My kids are best friends now. I love it.
I made it thru parenting, and they survived and are nice adults. Keep at it and remember that you are NOT their friends. And they are not supposed to like you all the time. Enjoy it. I sure did.
Have a great weekend. Your blog is amusing for sure.
And veggie burgers are not a meal. Yuck.
watch out. your mother may send gift cards now and not see the grandchildren but one day she may end up on your doorstep with her bag saying she wants to spend time with her grandchildren and SHE'S MOVIN' IN!!!!
Ah Hammer, I've got a 12-1/2 year old son who is showing some of that very attitude you speak of! But you know what's worse? The 13-1/2 year old daughter!
Mouthy kids. I can't remember what I did. Seems a long time ago. Whatever it was, it was probably wrong.
I'm surprised you aren't making your own veggie burgers instead of buying them. I sometimes think of experimenting but I never quite get there.
well them veggie burgers are so dam bad tasting that you have to put so much shit on them to kill the taste that they are probably worse for you than if you ate the meat.
My son tries to do the backtalking, but he is stopped dead in his tracks. he gets grounded and made to do chores, and severly punished.
I'm having the same problems with my kids...my son is pretty mean to his sister sometimes, and it just makes me so angry.
I guess brother and sister relationships are complicated, but I love the line where you said 'I protect my kids, even from each other'... very true indeed.
"Some one shut the fence off in the rain.."
Poor Barney!
Thank you #1 for the link, and #2, for making me feel like I wasn't the only one who enjoys the humor of weird Al. Indeed, thanks!
My 11 year old has mastered the 'Huffy Sigh' and we are working on UN mastering it. I asked her if she would treat one of her teachers that way and she said NO. So why is it OK to behave that way with me?
Dad is MUCH tougher on them than I am and I have warned her that she is going to mess up and pull that with him. Not good.
Be blessed Hammer.
Jen
Good luck with the kids. My 17 year old lost all his teeth. At least I assume he lost them, I haven't seen him smile in months...he's WAY TOO COOL to do something like SMILE in my presence. GRRRRR.
If you want the burger without all the fat & calories, turkey burgers aren't bad. I haven't found a way to make the boca burger taste like anything but char-grilled ass, but if you do, please let me know. Drowning it in Cholula was about the only thing I could do to choke them down.
I'll second what 10% said about ground turkey for burgers. I never tried the veggie burgers, altho we did have the tofu weiners once, and that was nasty. Nearly as useless as turkey bacon, that stuff don't fry up right.
1. Please don't fret about your son, as you and Mrs. Hammer both know that it's all part of that glorious ritual of "pushing your parents' buttons"......ahhhhh, youth.
2. Youngest daughter sounds as though she's having some usual problems with establishing her own identity with her brother and sister.
Why are you fretting, Hammer, when you know that a disciplined routine backed-up with lots of love is what will bring success.
3. Are we invited to the BBQ?
4. Your letter-writing is right on the money, Sir!
5. The gift cards sound better than a visit, no matter how much you may want it to be different.
6. The DNC appear to have lost a few marbles, aside from losing touch with their base. lol
Relax and enjoy your weekend, my friend. :)
Welcome to the world of puberty!
I've found that girls do battle with their Moms at this age, while boys engage in a pissing contest with their Dads. The opposite sex parent usually gets off easier. Just feel sorry for your wife-she'll have to battle TWO hormonal teenaged girls!
On the bright side, my daughter and I battled constantly when she was a teen. Now that she's grown, we're best friends!
I agree about the Morningstar burgers! I bought those for our daughter when she was here last summer. Even the dog wouldn't eat them, and he eats shit! This year, I just bought plain tofu for SME, and let her make her own creations.
Morning stars' hotdogs aren't too bad. The burger were horrible! As for the kids, just lock them togerther in a room and let them fight it out, JUST KIDDING! Also, just let the kids spend the target cards, I'm sure they'd enjoy it. :)
terri: It is tough to watch them go after each other for no particular reason. I hope it passes.
John: Honestly the fake burgers are loade with fat and salt. I don't know what the heck I'm thinking when I eat those hockey pucks.
mutley: wise words. I notice that some parents are afraid to challenge their kids because they want to be buddies with them but I found they love you more if you care enough to piss them off :)
Paul: I might switch to portabellas all the way. They are much healthier and taste great.
beachgirl: Yep The best friends thing tends to make kids feel insecure and act out even more. They prefer parenting instead even though they may not know it.
stepping: That's the stuff nightmares are made of!
dana: oh crap! I'm done for ;)
jeannie: I did make them with the grillers crumbles and they came out great. It's extra work but well worth it.
burfica: barbecue sauce helps. I'm not to grounding yet but going to bed early and making them talk to me about the behavior is pure toture ;)
that girl: I guess all we can do is keep on top of it until they get tired of fighting.
jennifer: that huffy sigh really boils my bollocks. I started doing it to them whenever they ask me for something..that fixed it :)
barbara: I hold them down and fart on them until they smile.
10%:cholula is a great idea! I love that stuff.
mattexian: the morningstar hotdogs aren't bad but like you said the tofu was utterly nasty!
loon: lol I just love being a parental sounding board ;) The DNC indeed has a severe marble deficit!
tshsmom: the only ones I found that were any good were morningstar grillers original and worthington patties. and yeah I'm toughening up for the big battle of wills and ego with my youngins.
E.L.L: you are right about the hotdogs. the breakfast patties are good too. the girls spent their cards on webkin pets and jumpropes.
Teenagers.. oh JOY!
LOL @ "knock a buzzard off a shit truck"
Well, being my daughter is 24 and STILL talks back.... I guess I never did figure out how to fix that. However, she has a 1 year old son now of her own, so paybacks are a comin'. Mimi might just have to teach the little guy a thing or two. hehe
The chix patties and nuggets are actually quite good. And the fake ground beef goes well with chili and soups (though I cook with boullion - I make my soups meatless because I know they're more spoil-resistant that way).
As far as the beef, after reading in Fast Food Nation the lengths they go to in order to put flavor back into beef once it's been over-processed, you'd think they could do the same with veggie burgers.
If you're up for cutting corners on the vegetarian thing, maybe make your own veggie burgers with a pinch of beef boullion (a.k.a. soup base). Otherwise, give up on the "tastes just like beef" and enjoy the good stuff you have in meatless meals. You'll frustrate yourself less. I've never found a cherry soda, candy, or other substitute that tasted just like cherry. Each thing is unique unto itself.
yes, i had a nice little episode with my nine year old at constipation fest. i will tell you all about it on friday...
glad to hear it's normal though and not just my stellar parenting skills. you are alright, hammer.
see you friday my blownstar brother.
Siblings picking on each other is a given, but that doesn't mean it's right. Keep at it, or they'll never speak to each other when they grow up.
Vegetarian burgers...barf. Tried 'em once and never again.
These were pretty decent burgers....
Edamame Veggie Burger From Food Network Kitchens
Cook's Note: Mirin is a Japanese sweet rice wine available in Asian and specialty food stores.
1/4 cup millet
1/2 cup cold water
2 1/4 teaspoons kosher salt, plus more as needed
1 medium carrot
1 large red radish
2 tablespoons finely grated, peeled, fresh ginger
1/2 clove garlic, minced
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice
2 tablespoons mirin (See Cook's Note.)
1/8 teaspoon Asian chili paste, such as Sri Racha sauce
1 pound frozen blanched, peeled edamame (soybeans), thawed
1 1/2 cups panko (Japanese-style bread crumbs)
2 large egg whites, beaten
Vegetable oil, for brushing
Heat the millet in a small dry saucepan, with a tight-fitting lid, over medium-high heat, cook, shaking occasionally, until the millet begins to "pop". Continue toasting the millet until the popping subsides, about 2 minutes, until it smells like freshly popped popcorn. Set aside to cool slightly.
Add the water and the 1/4 teaspoon of the salt to the saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat. Wrap the pan's lid tightly with a small kitchen towel and cover the saucepan. (Make sure the towel's edges are folded up well away from the heat.) Lower the heat to low and simmer covered, for 20 minutes. Remove from the heat (don't uncover) and set aside for 10 minutes. Fluff the millet with a fork and transfer to a large bowl.
Using a box grater, grate the carrot and radish into the bowl of millet. Add the ginger, garlic, lime juice, mirin, and chili paste and stir to combine.
Meanwhile, bring a medium pot of water to a boil and salt it generously. Add the edamame, cover, and return to a boil; cook until soft, about 5 minutes. Drain and immediately add to the bowl of millet mixture (to lightly warm the vegetables). Stir to combine and set aside to cool.
When cool, season the edamame mixture with the remaining 2 teaspoons salt. Transfer to a food processor and puree into a paste. Return the edamame to the bowl and stir in the panko and egg whites until incorporated.
Using your hands, form the edamame mixture into 8 patties about 3 inches in diameter. Place on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet and refrigerate until set.
Place a rack about 4 inches from the broiler element and preheat. Place the patties on a foil-lined baking sheet or broiler pan. Brush both sides of the patties lightly with oil and sprinkle with salt. Broil until the tops are lightly browned, about 3 minutes. Remove from the oven and flip the patties with a spatula. Broil until lightly browned and hot, about 3 minutes more. Serve on grilled naan bread with sprouts, pickled ginger, and wasabi. (The burgers can also be grilled or Sauteed.)
Serving suggestions: Alfalfa sprouts, pickled ginger, wasabi paste, and
I look back now and think about how scared I was to talk back to my dad. I knew what that look he gave me could lead to. I'm torn between thinking dad did a good job there, teaching me too keep quiet, and thinking that the fear he instilled in me somehow stunted me. He taught me to be afraid of confrontation. So, I dunno. Maybe putting up with mouthy kids as a price you pay for making sure they have the courage to speak up now and then. I dunno. There's a time and a place for everything. Maybe you need to bop them now and then so they learn when and where it's ok. I dunno.
I always wondered how veggie burgers tasted. Doesn't sound too good. :)
My Mother In Law is the same way, she drops a couple hundred on the kids for Christmas but is pretty much absent the rest of the year. I don't worry about her too much, this has been ongoing for almost 13 years now, every since Sara was born.
Man, you can cover a lot of territory in a short post.
First, the photo of the fox getting the barbecue is great.
I didn't like those stages with my daughters, but I have no son, so I'm not sure how to handle the testosterone ramping up in your son. Best of luck with your all of your kids. I know you and your wife have been consistent with them; just keep at it and if you all live until the youngest is 18 or 20, then you can breathe again.
I think the Republican elite have lost touch with their base as well. McCain trying to woo the left-most group he can sure leaves me scratching my head.
I hold my nose several times a week and go to Huffington Post and Kos and they are all freaking out about Obama's wooing of center and center-right voters. They think they control the man via their blogs and cannot understand Obama sucking up to the center for more votes. Good or bad, this is the goofiest Presidential election runup I've ever seen.
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