The weirdness in my household.
I seriously hate it when people call me on the telephone. I think it's because for so long every call I received was somebody wanting me to do heavy lifting or some spiel by telemarketing assholes.
When I do decide to answer... HELLO! (stunned silence on the other end) HELLO!!!??? (errr umm...) I give them 5 seconds to coherently identify themselves and state their business ..if not they get abruptly hung up on. I figure if they can't spit it out in the ample time provided...too bad.
At 3:45 AM I heard a commotion out in the hall. I wearily stumbled out and saw my youngest daughter covered in toothpaste. I was furious. She lied and said her sister squirted it all over her as she slept. I seriously doubted her story because my other girl was sick with the flu and sound asleep. Finally the truth came out. We bought a new tube of fancy toothpaste and daughter dear didn't want anyone to use it. So she hid it under her pillow. It was the pump type and apparently it emptied all into the bed.
I don't know where she gets these crazy ideas.
I caught whatever illness the kids have. The pediatrician said whatever virus is going around either gives you a fever and chills or terrible vomiting and diarrhea. Guess which one I got?
Good news though, I checked my blood pressure and it has gone down to 129/89 not great but it may help when the doctor decides what to do about it.
posted by Bill Rowland @ October 25, 2007
37 Comments
37 Comments:
Oooh, sorry you caught the virus! Doesn't it suck that for 9 months out of the year you're exposed to every germ your kids come in contact with at school?
128/89 ain't bad at all and about average
with all the super bug viruses going around these days, i just assume i'm going to get violently ill about 3 or 4 times a year. it's the new normal. enjoy.
:this message brought to you by the ho...hohoho homeland defense agency:
A Shotty and a 'toon poster must be helping with the bp, huh.
Nice pic.
I used to have high blood pressure back about thirty years ago; I cut back on salt and ate more onions and garlic (the alliums are diuretics). It dropped down to normal levels after a couple of weeks.
That's an awesome story about hiding the toothpaste, I could totally see that happen at our house.
I hate the phone too, but I just hate it when it rings period, I don't even care if they're calling me.
I think it's mostly because we have those stupid wireless phones and I can never find one when they're ringing.
~Oswegan
1. Please get well soon and all the best from the North.
2. A telephone with the display screen so that we may pick and choose who bothers us is one of the greatest inventions of the past 20 or so years!
3. That's FANTASTIC news about your blood pressure! Way to go Hammer and please don't give up, eh!
Kids giving you a virus. Just another reason to hate kids:-)
I give them 2 seconds. But most of the time I just let the machine get it.
Oh no! We've got colds in our house. Miserable. All I want to do is sleep and watch tv and drink warm drinks and sleep and have someone rub my back.
On another note, I love that she hid the toothpaste under her pillow. That is something one of my children would do.
Oh shit Hammer....I hope you get to feeling better real soon!
Hopefully you didn't get both sides of the bug?!
Sending hippy chick healing vibes..now go brush your teeth!
awwwwwwww ss to hear you are sick ...hope you all are feeling better soon. Remember to keep as hydrated as possible.
WTG on getting the BP down...that is almost in normal range...congrats and keep up the good work!!!
driving the porcelain bus, eh?
Take care of yourself - hope you're better soon.
Kids are so weird.
And I hate phone calls too. The phone rings around here but it's almost never for me. The calls I have come to hate are the freaking machines that they have now to replace human telemarketers. They'll call, you answer to 5 seconds of dead air and then a recorded spiel. And they just keep calling back even though you hang up and of course, there's no way to get off the list because there's no human to tell.
Get well soon Hammer, the virus sounds like absolute hell to go through & congrats on knocking your blood pressure down.
Ha...I like your daughter and I dont even know her. That's classic. Good luck with the BP. Cheers!!
Poor kid, I can understand her thinking, but she learned it wasn't a good idea. Isn't it interesting how at 3:45 am these things aren't funny at all, but the rest of us think it is?
Doing great with the BP, keep it up!
Kid stories are the best. When I was younger, my sister was found dry shampooing my 2 year old brother's hair on the couch. Take photos. You'll bond over this stuff when they're older.
Hmmm. Seems like everyone's got the virus these days. I think during this season its inevitable. I just tell myself that if I get it, at least I'll lose a few lbs out of it.
I find that people answering the phone for you get me...
I had a colleague bawl across the office 'Hey Rich, there's Barry Parsnip on the phone for you'
I pick up the phone and hear howls of laughter, so I say
'you're a consultancy aren't you?'
'Yes' chokes the guy on the other end of the line
'oh, then you must be Pari Parsu'
Kids! They're mess machines. Glad to hear the BP's falling.
Cheers
At a first glance I was sure she had used your head (the hanmmer) *lol* (imagine You standing on the head ... made me realize ... that it can't be that ... because then your bp would have run through the ceiling).
Children makes the world be much funnier ... than it actually is ... this precious every-day living moments of the day.
By the way ... what's your phone nummer ... I ave a prospect ... not expensive ... at all
:-D
Have A Lovely and Playful Weekend!
Sorry for my bad English ... guess Your Swedish is even worst
OMG that is so damned funny! Reminds me of when may daughter walked by one day (somewhere around age 4) and mysteriously smelled of nail polish. When confronted, she told me that she like the sparkle, and had painted the part in her hair with the nail polish.... Sheesh.
I hate the phone too. To bad that my job requires me to answer all the phone calls to make any profit.
Your blood pressure is actually very good. After years of being on medication for high blood pressure. That one is pretty nice.
That sucks about being sick. I helped my dad take his cat to the vet this week. She had been puking for 4 days. Only to find out it was contagious to humans. ahhhhhhh I came home and lysoled the entire house and ourselves. My dad ended up getting it though. Poor guy.
I'm the same way about the phone...I hate talking on the phone and my brother-in-laws and I use email only!
At least you girls will get close to toothpaste!
Such a girl! That is so typical of our female gender with sibling rivalry. I think I did this same thing but with Barbie clothes. They aren't quite so messy.
One of my favorite Simpson's episodes is when the town wants to ban kids, then all the kids hug the voters to pass on the germs. It validated my opinion that children are walking bags of disease.
I also hate phones, though I think I posted about that a while ago. I don't like answering them (or teh doorbell) as they are just loud and intrusive.
Get well soon!
I don't like the phone either, i don't like the phone ringing, I don't like to make calls. But here we don't have the telemarketters machines yet, it has not reached our shores, we are safe for a moment.
Get better soon, you and darling daughter.
The do not call list still allows people with heavy accents to call with surveys. I usually just say I don't have time and hang up, but the last couple of times I replied in Arabic with a very angry tone. I don't speak Arabic of course, so it must have been difficult to understand...probably as difficult as it was for me to understand their questions, but I played it until they hung up on ME. An angry muslim barking back seems to speed up the process.
Sorry about the sickness. Kids bringing home deadly viruses make me lean toward agreeing with Lex, as if I didn't harbor the indifference already! Get well soon...
A toothpaste covered kid and a toothpaste covered bed will raise my blood pressure EVERY time!
That lag in the answer means the call was auto-dialed. Almost 99% of the time you've answered the phone while they are finishing up typing in the results of their last call. They're waiting for a little green light to tell them that a real person has answered the phone.
When I get the lag after I've said hello, and then they start with, Hello? I let them know that I already answered my phone and then I ask them if my number was auto-dialed. THEN they stammer, then I hang up.
Agree with Tshsmom about the toothpaste and telemarketerswould double my blood pressure. No wonder you're sick.
Please relax to get over this bug. Have had it going on 3 weeks. Nothing seems to work.
This superbug virus has this city on alert. I hope you're up and running (not THAT way) again soon!
Hi there!
Followed you here through Victorya.
I had to laugh at this one, once my son did the same thing with a squeezy jelly candy tube.
Suddenly everything came up sticky and smelling like green apples!
It took me 3 days to track down the source, and only 6 weeks to clean it up from all over the house.
I just followed the ant trails.
:))
Hope the spider bite is better, I was in the hospital for a week once from one, nasty little buggers....
Slainte~
Rachelle
Man, I remember the first year my oldest went to school... I must have spent half that year sick with whatever virus he brought home.
Get well and kudos for the drop in BP.
Hate phones with a purple passion. Carry a cell only because Lisa demands I can be GPS'd when lost yet again in the swamp.
Man, I hate that you caught that. I never caught my daughter's stuff, well not much, but having worked outside in all sorts of weather I would get sick a good bit.
Even after I quit that kind of work and went back to school and no longer worked outdoors, I would get sick easily. It took about three years to get back to being normal and not getting really sick two or three times each winter.
I still rarely get sick, but when I do, it's usually a doozy, like your experience. Hope you're better by now, as I'm writing this late.
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