Music that makes my brain hurt

Whiny guy rock: High pitched nasally vocals, basic guitar rock cords (toned down for future muzak conversion) and greasy, unshaven mama's boys round out this class of music. They snivel and whine about their girlfriend leaving or the hangnail they got last Tuesday. These poseur assholes sound exactly like a million other bands with nothing to say. Some just have better management.
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Reborn crooner It's really fashionable these days to remake other peoples music. Usually a has been tries to get other has beens together and do some old Vegas dead crooner bullshit. "YAWN" Sinatra and Dino could pull it off, but that's becuause they kicked ass. Luckily for these fuckers there are a bunch of old ladies that get sucked into buying this re-manufactured silly bull shit. (Cough) Rod (Cough) Stewart.

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Has beens: They rocked in their heyday, sold millions of records, played to sold out shows. Now twenty, thirty, or forty years later they are rich, sober, married, and have absolutely nothing to sing about. /Singing/ Oh yeah baby, I'm so rich, and I married a supermodel woo wee my life is great ha ha... Give it up has been. Nobody wants to hear that shit. I'm of the firm opinion that really inspiring music is born of suffering. Once the suffering ends, hang up the microphone or go trash your life and start over

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DIVA. Cmon' all this shit sounds exactly the same. Some chick is up there bellowing through talented vocal cords to uninspiring fru fru elevator music. Maybe the lyrics could be poetic but they are all the same. I'm sure people are impressed by the sequined dresses, pretty lights and the 30 second high notes but to me it's phony baloney nonsense. I think people eat this stuff up because paying $175 for a concert ticket sounds good when trying to impress the neighbors.

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(C)RAP. Back in the early eighties I could listen to some rap music. It was catchy, sometimes funny and had a good beat. It had some musical elements in it as well. These days it's nothing but a bunch of thugs droning about ho's and gats to a monotonous electronic beat while trying to look tough and gangsterish. It's boring at best and annoying at its worst. How many music videos can you fill with phat booty ho's, diamond encrusted teeth and Caddilac Escalades? .....about 734,904 so far

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Girl Idol. Disney execs take and old mouseketeer who is too old for their shitty sitcoms and still has a few years on their contract, sluts them up and puts them on stage so they can make a few more million before they head for the glue factory. Once their singing career starts petering out, these girl idols cannot stand being out of the limelight. They end up making a sex tape with a donkey, flashing their stretch marked woo hoo's every time they step out of a limo and pretty much make pathetic asses out of themselves until they are finally ignored forever.

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Boy bands: luckily, I think this era is nearly over. Some music money man grabs some pretty white boys that he'd like to corn hole, makes sure they can carry a tune and then markets them to a captive ready made audience loaded with prepubescent girls. It's important that the handlers keep the girls and "guys" thinking they are going to marry one of these gay boys one day. The music is inconsequential next to the teen magazines, the fashion and tabloid expose's. Every once in a while, a catchy tune will accidentally surface out of this mess.. but don't count on it.