My lovely relatives
My former brother in law is a cowardly asshole. (I'll call him A.H.) He was married to my wife's sister, (I'll call her Cherie) until a short time ago. He was OK to hang out with because he knew better than the fuck with me to my face. My job was to keep him occupied while my wife and Cherie would go do sister things.
If he wasn't occupied by me he would sit at home, get drunk and call his wife every five minutes screaming at her to get home. He was possessive, obsessive compulsive and a fucking asshole.
I did my duty. But I always heard from my nephew (his stepson) what a cocksucker AH. was whenever he got home from going places with me. So I just stopped. If my sister in law didn't have the balls to dump this nutcase asshole it wasn't my job to pretend to be his friend.
It disgusted me the way she would lie and fawn all over A.H in front of people to give the illusion that he was a great, sweet husband. She would buy herself jewelry and flowers then tell everyone that A.H. bought them. This guy did nothing but sit around his house in his tighty whitey underwear. He was about 5'11 275 and looked just like Homer Simpson. All weekend he would sit there fat drunk and naked, and act belligerent to his family or whoever else happened to be around.
Finally, one night all hell broke loose. Sister in law called the house screaming and crying, A.H. finally broke the final rule and punched her. Apparently, he was upset because he had been sleeping on the couch for a few months and their 11 year old son was sleeping in the bed with mom. Yeah it was weird.. anyway he got drunk and called her a pedophile, she slapped him, and he punched her in the face. She threatened to call the cops if he didn't leave. Reluctantly, he left.
I knew A.H had a pistol. I had a feeling he was going to pull some crazy stunt with it and use it to terrorize his family. We had gone to the target range a few times and I knew where he kept it. I told Cherie to bring me the gun immediately. She did and I locked it up in the safe.
Not 30 minutes later, Cherie is calling me screaming and crying again. She is demanding that I give AH his gun. He was over there with her, supposedly getting his clothes and stuff. When he went for the gun and found it missing, he went berserk. I told Cherie that she was a fucking idiot, and I would never give a gun to a raging, drunk, crazy wife beater that was just thrown out of his house.
She wouldn't relent, so I told her that I would give him cash value for it. I finally had to hang up on her because she kept screaming for me to give him the gun. Fucking retard.
I didn't hear from her for a couple of weeks and she finally came over and calmly asked for the gun again. I told her no fucking way if she was going to give it to A.H. the wife beater. I showed her the blue book value and handed her $375. She reluctantly took the money and I wrote her a receipt.
She divorced A.H a few months later, and immediately started dating another abusive asshole exactly like her ex husband. He is living with her now and we haven't seen or heard from her for a long time. New boyfriend is possessive and has a rage disorder so it was easier for her to blame us for all her problems and stay with what she knew.
I've washed my hands of them. You can't help people that don't want to be helped.
If he wasn't occupied by me he would sit at home, get drunk and call his wife every five minutes screaming at her to get home. He was possessive, obsessive compulsive and a fucking asshole.
I did my duty. But I always heard from my nephew (his stepson) what a cocksucker AH. was whenever he got home from going places with me. So I just stopped. If my sister in law didn't have the balls to dump this nutcase asshole it wasn't my job to pretend to be his friend.
It disgusted me the way she would lie and fawn all over A.H in front of people to give the illusion that he was a great, sweet husband. She would buy herself jewelry and flowers then tell everyone that A.H. bought them. This guy did nothing but sit around his house in his tighty whitey underwear. He was about 5'11 275 and looked just like Homer Simpson. All weekend he would sit there fat drunk and naked, and act belligerent to his family or whoever else happened to be around.
Finally, one night all hell broke loose. Sister in law called the house screaming and crying, A.H. finally broke the final rule and punched her. Apparently, he was upset because he had been sleeping on the couch for a few months and their 11 year old son was sleeping in the bed with mom. Yeah it was weird.. anyway he got drunk and called her a pedophile, she slapped him, and he punched her in the face. She threatened to call the cops if he didn't leave. Reluctantly, he left.
I knew A.H had a pistol. I had a feeling he was going to pull some crazy stunt with it and use it to terrorize his family. We had gone to the target range a few times and I knew where he kept it. I told Cherie to bring me the gun immediately. She did and I locked it up in the safe.
Not 30 minutes later, Cherie is calling me screaming and crying again. She is demanding that I give AH his gun. He was over there with her, supposedly getting his clothes and stuff. When he went for the gun and found it missing, he went berserk. I told Cherie that she was a fucking idiot, and I would never give a gun to a raging, drunk, crazy wife beater that was just thrown out of his house.
She wouldn't relent, so I told her that I would give him cash value for it. I finally had to hang up on her because she kept screaming for me to give him the gun. Fucking retard.
I didn't hear from her for a couple of weeks and she finally came over and calmly asked for the gun again. I told her no fucking way if she was going to give it to A.H. the wife beater. I showed her the blue book value and handed her $375. She reluctantly took the money and I wrote her a receipt.
She divorced A.H a few months later, and immediately started dating another abusive asshole exactly like her ex husband. He is living with her now and we haven't seen or heard from her for a long time. New boyfriend is possessive and has a rage disorder so it was easier for her to blame us for all her problems and stay with what she knew.
I've washed my hands of them. You can't help people that don't want to be helped.
posted by Bill Rowland @ January 29, 2007
17 Comments
17 Comments:
It is a sad situation when she continuely goes for the same kindda guy. I am proud of you for standing your ground though. Great job. So i think you have done the best you could for her.
Abused women never cease to amaze me. I feel bad for them...nobody deserves to be treated that way, but at what point are they responsible at least for placing themselves in harms way?
I've dated women who were abused and found they only wanted it from me too. They would needle and instigate battles and make me think I know why the last guy popped you in the face bitch. Sorry if that sounds like I'm calling the victim the one who asked for it, but I only speak from my own experiences. Take it or leave it. I always just left. Smacking women around was not something I was prone to do. But they helped me understand those who are a little better.
Women.... Bah. I don't feel like treating them like crap to get their attention so I will just leave them alone.
It's quite and peaceful here, that is very pleasant to me.
It is easy for people like JP to judge. Instead of asking why a woman stays with an abusive man how about asking why do men abuse?
Hammer you are right that you cannot help a persopn who cannot help themselves, but there is something in her life that makes her continue to seak out this type of man.
Obviously JP has not read my post regarding the relationship I was in.
Men abuse because they are male. Every male creature has the same thing in common - they are agressive by nature, and not just men - anything that is male has the genetic makeup to be physical when pushed. Some male creatures have more self control than others and that's the difference between who is an abuser and who isn't.
That in no way is saying it's alright to hit women... Men just need more control was the point I was making.
I'm not a psychriatrist, so I am not sure why women 'seek' out men that will abuse them. It seems to me that trait is also genetically imbedded in some womens emotional makeup.
I have been with women that were abused in the past. I am not anymore... Hammer made the best point when he said "you can't help people that don't want to be helped". That is true beyond words.
Hammer, you win the award for being stuck around the most fucked up family and friends of anyone I've ever come across. Unbelievable the shit you've seen. Honestly, I'm surprised your not blogging from a prison cell.
My sil got married twice to men who beat her. And while it's wrong for them to beat her, she honestly provoked it. She was emotionally abusive. She'd insult anyone any time. I finally had had enough one day and gave it back to her. After a few words back and forth, she says, "So, do you want to hit me now?" Daring me to. I was so stunned at the thought. I answered, "Why the hell would I want to hit you?" But this is what she throws at everyone apparently. She's psycho. She is now living in the same house as her last ex but not amicably. Lucky for her this isn't the states because if guns were more prevalent around here, I'm sure she'd have been shot by one or nine of her in-laws over the years. I might have been one of them to do it.
I recall hiding the ammo for my guns a few times when I was married to my fucked up christian wife.
It was bad enough that she would attack me in other ways, I wasn't going to let her blow my brains out.
Oh well, her brain blew up and killed her in her forty's, it was for the best.
....and again, that statement is soooooo true.
I think I have finally reached a point in my life where I no longer want to TRY to help others who won't/can't help themselves. What a RELIEF!! haha
And Yep!! You sure win the prize for fucked up people you know/are related to!!!
It is something I quite recently have come across, which I didn't was possible but have understood it quite common after all. That is the fact of sadistic/submissive relation.
It was actually in my blog at 360Yahoo I learned to know this, when I stumbled into some bloggs that had this context.
It actually excist people that like to be abused, gagged, tied to the bed and tortured, beaten up and be treated as a slave.
I stead of call each other for husband and wife, they call each other for master and whore.
ranting: thanks, I think she would have been killed if I hadn't acted.
JP: It confuses the heck out of me too. I dated two different women who had been abused and they picked fights with me constantly when no issue existed. I've never hit a woman and they seemed to think I was a pussy for not hitting them. Like you, I just left permanently.
rose: you're right, we don't know the inner workings of an abused persons mind. send me the link to your post, I would like to read it.
madz: I deserve some kind of award right? Believe it or not, my life is pretty calm now. I removed the worst offenders from my life without violence. Me the wife and kids are pretty much it as far as calm and normal are concerned.
jeannie: I just don't get people. I don't excuse those who abuse their spouses male or female but I see that folks can be pushed over the edge when normally they would never be violent. Abuse syndrome is like a mental illness it seems.
BBC: Good move, I didn't really consider the flip side of abuse. I feel sorry for people who have to life in that kind of mess day after day.
kb: I haven't even scratched the surface of screwed up people ;) I stopped helping most people because I realized that I'm just adding to the problem by creating a crutch.
Kirsten: mutually agreed, sado masochism, bondage and such is probably one way for people to deal with abuse issues. I think it's pretty disgusting myself. I'm a gentle person and cannot see violence as anything erotic.
I wonder how many actually live like that?
you can't fix stupid
and
you have to throw away the gun
it is full of that guys shitty energy
and you know what i mean
pretty dumb that he wants the gun 30 minutes after you convince her it is a danger to her and her child to have it in the house huh?
i hope it ain't in your house, objects can cause disdurbances in a person's well-being
Shame that story. One wonders what justifies rage but on the other hand I agree with JP, I knew a woman like that. At first I thought I had to help her, but eventually, I started understanding that she just liked the attention she was getting from her misery... she was seeking it! That was too weird for me, I did not stay in touch.
Infinitesimal: She spent 10 years doing whatever he wanted to shut him up and when he threw a fit over his gun, all she knew how to do was bend to his will like a mother giving in to a petulant child.
I ended up taking the gun and rebuilding and refurbishing it. I have a large collection of guns and now A.H's is in the safe with lots of friends. All my guns have happy energy and pleasant memories attached to them.
helene' Cherie tried to hide the fact that A.H. wa abusive but she never took any steps to fix the problem. She lied constantly and I think it took it's toll on her emotional stability.
More direct evidence that America is full of knuckleheads who possess guns...
Scott: one less now :D
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