Dissecting the blogosphere
After visiting hundreds and hundreds of blogs I finally feel that I'm enough of an authority to compartmentalize them into specific types. Since there are as many different tastes in blogs as there are flavors of coffee at Starbucks, I'll let you pass judgement on the types I describe.
I know the blog-awards already divided up blogs into categories but they do it with theme, where I separate by content and style.
Well, enough of my jibba jabba. here goes:
AWOL blogger: Does a couple of stellar posts, gets some readership and is never heard from again. Possibly kidnapped and enslaved by rabid spider monkeys.
Incidental blogger: Posts about Their birthday, haircut, Thanksgiving then Christmas. Wow is it their birthday again already?
Baby blogger: With pictures: Little Kawliga is sooo cute. Here is a pic of me feeding him at 4 weeks 1 day old awwwwwww... Day two: Little Kawliga is soooo cute Here is a pic of me feeding him at 4 weeks 2 days old awwwwww...
Dog blogger: Here are pics of rusty, champ, king, festus and charlie. Here is a pic of Rusty's poop. Did rusty make big boom boom? Yes he did! Yes he did! Good boy!
Cat Blogger: Aww dis is my coo coo wid da big fwoppy ears..Huggy buns is eating his tender vittles..Damien junior is slicing the flesh off of my arm as I type this.....getting weakerrrr call 911......
Eclectic blogger: Here is a pic of my empty bookshelf. I bought it at Sears. It is made of wood. I don't know why I bought it. I have a severe ink allergy.
Undiagnosed blogger. I went to work today and I was driving in my car then I stopped for coffee and the park was fun . I like the zoo, walruses are my favorite. I got fired today, my shirt is yellow with daisies....
Goth Blog. Death is an eternal blackness in my mind. Dead flowers cascade my rotten corpse with their crispy black petals. Here is a picture of my infected nose piercing. The doctor says I need to bathe more. I don't see the point.
Fan boy blog: Brad and Angelina took a shit today. I tunneled into their sewer line and caught apiece of their exalted turd. Here are some pictures. I also raided their dumpster and found a dirty diaper and some coffee grounds. I have to go to my state mandated 12 step meeting for stalkers. I hate going. Those people are crazy!
Once a week epic blog. These guys save up everything they have and heave it all into one seventeen page post with no spaces, punctuation, or indents. The blog colors are usually baby blue background with light blue text. I'm blinded and cross eyed by now, so commenting is out of the question.
Technical blog: I was transversing the polarity on my zx9 sommelphlange today when the iomic fleezledorf went into doppleganger mode. I mean sheesh lol I know that happens to everyone right?
To be continued.
posted by Bill Rowland @ January 19, 2007
32 Comments
32 Comments:
hmm...I don't think I found myself fitting in any of those categories...I will stayed tuned to see if there are additions.
Great blog...very funny!!
I fall into several:
Incidental blogger
Cat Blogger
Undiagnosed blogger (more me)
You are a different type of blogger. Most guys talk about gadgets or something they read. Some tell stories. You have a little bit of everything.
In all these blog-contests which are and have been, I will never winn anything...LOL..
Because my blog is from birth to death, from heaven to hell...(Oh gee, I'm a Goddess, I didn't know.)....From animals to ghosts behind your bed, from food to IQ-tests and...(Ohhh, I'm Nalle Puh. How nice is that?)
I'm sure they think I'm only a screwed up hiccough from the 7th planet in the cosmic chaos.
It seems all these categories are for BAD blogs. The goth ones are the worst; filled with poetry and suicidal ramblings... And gothy music that plays even when you don't want it to.
I'm with Rach, I was kinda hoping I was NONE of those bloggers!!
Very funny though hahahahaha. You realise that you cheer lots of people up and in fact, at times, make their day?
I hardly read any blogs....how do you get TIME?? Oh that's right, you hardly sleep! ;)
Looking forward to the next few categories...... &:^,
I laughed and laughed then thought WAIT what the hell catagory am I in??? lmaoooooooooo
I don't think I fit into any of these categories...
DO ME!!! ;)
Steve~
Very amusing; I seem to fit in with Incidental and Undiagnosed. I don't seem to be as focused as I used to be...
Thank the good lord that i don't blog about techno-babble that half the world wouldn't understand or my cats. Did I mention I have two of them. I have pictures too. Wanna see 'em?!?
And then there is God's blog, where he insults almost everyone while questioning their intelligence and reasoning powers.
Ah, it's all good, a part of evolution.
It was decent here today, the cold has left. I wonder why humans think God controls the fucking weather? He has to live within the same rules of the universe that everyone else in human form does .
Do you ever spend any time with your wife? Hell, if I had a wife I wouldn't be on the web very much.
Just saying.
Rach: thanks for the visit and compliment.
Carrie: Your blog seems pretty well rounded. I'm nt sure if I have a funny catagory for you.
Kirsten: Your blog is unique, one of a kind and is in a catagory by itself.
Brian: Show us some pictures when the cats are in the litter box, they hate it when you do that.
Jingoistic: Yeah the bad blogs are entertaining in their own right.
KB: thanks for the kind words. Yep more catagories on the way.
Burfica: I'll do some more. I hope nobody takes me too seriously ;)
Steven: Yeah I got yours pegged already for part II
Bobg: Going for the multiple catagory award? ;)
BBD: You are unique too. I've never seen anyone spank monkeys quite the way you do. My wife has a PC right next to mine. at the same big desk. She doesn't blog or know about mine, thankfully can only see her own monitor.
Oh.. I am definately the once a week blogger. I only find time to read or write when I stand in my garage, smoking a cig, whilst avoiding my daughter and her "girl-goyles".
I at least try to use correct punctuation and space my paragraphs out a bit.
But in any case.. Im the once a week Blogger..
this is a test do not eat my comment blogger!
I have a "Mr. T in your pocket" keychain that has 6 Mr. T sayings... One of them, in authentic Mr. T voice (of course) is:
"Quit chor Jibba Jabba!"
these blogger types are too true
but yeah, you need to keep adding types
what type am I?
the multiple blog type that hardly ever updates no more?
I think there are 2 types basically:
those that write for themselves, and those that write for others
i write the pink blog to keep a diary of life for myself
the green one to keep tabs on politics and such
the black one for migraines
the strawberry one for headaches
and the snail one for good things
but ol strawberrys been sorely neglected!!
i should really update strawberry... my burrito was free today!
but anyway, usually, I write for me, but sometimes, i am so lonely, i write for others, hoping for a comment.
Opps, I mean:
the strawberry one for DREAMS!!!
and the SNAIL one for Happy Things
oh man, I am not allowed to cross streets on this medicine, clearly not allowed to type either....
I am medicated now, for a migraine
baby blue epic blog?
She doesn't know you have a blog?
Now how rich is that? Boy, if she ever Goggles you. LOL
hilarious, and absolutely perfect.
ROFLMAO...
Hilarious, Hammer! And just curious, how would you classify my blog?
This is hilarious! Perhaps you can also include a category called Blogs Written in Bad English - I'm sure many will come under that group...
- paradoxical-rose.blogspot.com
I like these. How about the nonsensical blogger. The bloggers that write about an interesting subject, as if they are intelligent, but they just don't make any sense
Not that this really matters this late in the game - My mom has a dog named Festus. I thought that was the most unique, strangest name for a dog - until about 8 seconds ago.
Very good post.
Good post, Hammer... waiting for more categories...:)
Excellent analysis, Hammer. Incidentally, it was me who kidnapped AWOL blogger. He writes for me when I've run out of things to say.
But that wasn't the point of my comment--I really wanted to commend you how you seem to have the best looking readers on the web. There's Rach. There's Carrie. Hubba hubba!
Quinten: Your punctuation is superb ;)
infinitesimal: You'll have to direct me to these new flavors ;)
Scott: I think they are danish.
BBC: she'll just get a bunch of hammer pics ;)
jean: thanks coming soon :)
Miao: That would take a lifetime ;)
But definitely could be funny.
jk: thanks :)
Ambulance driver: I don't normally do requests but I'll see what I can do ;)
nomas: indeed, that would encompass a lot of political blogs.
ryan: lol festus is a cool name for a dog.
Dr Blogstein: I need to get me one of those AWOL guys. hubba hubba lol!
You failed to mention my catagory.
Shitty blogger.
I'm new to blogging and have had a hard time trying to figure it out so thank you for this little crash course.
I can only assume I will be an AWOL blogger since all my blogs thus far have been stellar. :)
Those are pretty good! Now I am a bit self-concious about which catagory I belong too!
Dick: lol I didn't think you fit into the "scat" catagory.
Yvonne: just watch out for those spider monkeys ;)
Jenny: thanks, I don't think most of us fit into any particular catagory.
I think I'm a cross between Baby and Religious! Which category do you fit into? :D
Found you from Ambulance Man's page. He's right, you are pretty dern funny!
Heh. I'm a combo, too...dog blogger plus maybe...new category? Four-letter-word blogger?
Keep up the highly entertaining work!
Okay, now I'm worried.
Wonder what kind I am. Or do I?
Post a Comment
Welcome back
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home