Practical jokes..giving back what I got

I've always been mischievous. Not in an evil way, just in a you deserve some payback and I'm devious enough to do it way.


If I got bad or rude service at a restaurant or store I would unplug something from the back of the cash register or disable the telephone in a way that was not obvious but really inconvenient for them.

Once computers came on the scene I was really at the top of my game. I could go to a store that offended me in some way and give all the computers a rolling screen saver that read, "This store sucks green slimy donkey dicks" in giant letters then password protect it so that it could not be changed without a major undertaking.

Later on I used my skills for well deserved revenge. I lived in an apartment complex with the laundry room. If I left my clothes drying unattended some jackass would invariably take my wet clothes out of the dryer, put them in the trash can and put their clothes in using my dryer time. I finally got sick and tired of it, took a cheese pizza and placed it in the stolen dryer with the asshole's clothes. This stopped the shenanigans immediately.

Exploding cigarette loads are lots of fun. I bought a brand new pack of Marlboro reds in a box (easily the most popular smoke in the USA) and loaded them all with explosive pellets.

I put the pack on the break room table and waited for some asshole to steal them. Sure enough, come break time a guy is standing on the loading dock puffing away and Kaboom! Their face is back and mustache on fire but they act cool and play it off lighting up the remnants of the cigarette. Boom! Didn't think there would be two loads in there did ya asswipe?

There was always loads of bathroom fun. Our office did not have an emergency light in the men's restroom. and the toilet paper rolls were held in by special keys to prevent theft.

Perfect. I went into the restroom picked the locks on the toilet paper dispensers and rigged them to where if you grabbed for the paper the whole roll would fall onto the ground and roll away, hopefully into a wet puddle of something. I would wait for the target to go into the stall, listen intently for the plop of a turd hitting the water then I would cut the lights making it pitch black . The person taking the dump would invariably scream Nooooooooo! when all went dark. If they tried to wipe, the roll of paper would fall on the ground and roll far away way out of reach.

The person would have to get up with their shitty ass and pants around their ankles groping their way to the light switch or the door in order to hopefully find some dry paper to get themselves back in order.

After pulling one of these pranks it was really hard not to laugh when the angry mark came in from the restroom angry and walking funny.'

The bathroom thing was difficult to set up so I used it on two deserving people: one of them was a preppy jackoff that was telling everyone that he was having sex with one of my female employees.(he wasn't) and a meth head who was spreading rumors and trying to get me fired.

It worked perfectly both times and the meth head was so upset he demanded that our security guy take finger prints and find the culprit. (they laughed at him)

Good times..Good times...