Speaking in code.

I'm really terrible with names and proper nouns, to the point where people get offended when I can't remember what to call them. I've learned to compensate somewhat either by repetition or just avoiding names all together. It must of been all the dope my parents smoked back in the 60's that addled my embryonic brain.

So these days when talking to my wife, I use my own code words when trying to describe something to her and she usually knows what I'm trying to say.
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Hammer: Hey, lets go to that place with the good asparagus.

Wife: What place is that?

Hammer: You know...uhhh I think it's called dickhead marys or something.

Wife: you mean P.F. Changs?

Hammer Yeah that's it.
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Wife: Did anyone call for me when I was gone?

Hammer: Yeah, cock eater called but I told him to try you on your cell.

Wife: Cock eater number one or number two?

Hammer: The one with the drug problem.

Wife: That would be my brother Jeremy

Hammer: Yeah cock eater that was him who called.
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Wife: do you want anything from the store?

Hammer yeah..ummm can you get some of those crispy ass nuggets?

Wife: Our store doesn't sell them. Do you want me to go to the Walmart?

Hammer: Shit.. just get those smokey butt plugs and I'll put barbecue sauce on them and make do.
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Wife: Where should we take junior for his birthday?

Hammer: Hmm is Kneel and Bob's still open?

Wife: Dave and Busters? That place is expensive.

Hammer: Yeah you're right, how about Dildo Babes? You know the one with the vermin..

Wife: Isn't he a bit old for Chuck E Cheeses?

Hammer: Shhh he doesn't know that.
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It's our 17th wedding anniversary this weekend. We went and had sushi last night and saw Batman. Tonight We'll probably have the nephew watch the kids and we'll go see a movie, then to the martini bar for some live music and cigars.

Have a good weekend everyone.