Office pranks
I've been reading the exploits of a creative office prankster and laughing my ass off.
Previously I described a few of my own office pranks.
Back when I was younger, a good prank always made my day.
Here are a couple of my favorites:
The lazy assholes in my department would roll around the room in their desk chairs instead of walking. It got so bad we would have traffic jams in the middle of the production floor made up of people scooting around like a bunch of retards.I tried threatening, bargaining and kicking their asses but nothing seemed to work.
One morning I came in early and superglued one wheel on all the offenders chairs.
When they went to go for their morning roll, they got about six inches before doing a faceplant in the middle of the concrete floor. Sadly, It only took them a few days to figure out they could go steal a wheel from another department.
We had a phone intercom system that could page people over the entire building. Even the company executives heard each and every page.
This one asshole would abuse the intercom because he liked to hear himself talk. He thought he was some kind of receptionist and would answer every phone call just so he could page somebody. It got to be really annoying due to the fact that the little asshole never got his work done.
One Christmas we were all given our frozen turkey in lieu of a bonus. Little phone boy had screwed up the programming of 5000 memory chips and we were having to work overtime on Christmas eve to fix his careless mistake.
The phone rang and little phone bitch sprinted across the room to answer it like always. While he was playing chatty Cathy We all grabbed our 12Lb frozen turkeys and flung them over his cubicle wall just as he was on company wide intercom.
OH FUCK SHIT FUCKING BASTARD MOTHER FUCKER! ASSHOLES! He screamed over the intercom like a little tourettes bitch as he was pummeled by several the rock hard frozen gobblers.
Phone bitch sat in stunned silence wondering what was going to happen to him after his foul mouthed tirade. His phone rang, he picked it up and said , "I'm sorry, I'm sorry ok I understand. "
The CEO had called and told him he would be fired if his voice was ever heard over the intercom again.
That was a good day.
Labels: Humor
posted by Bill Rowland @ December 06, 2006
9 Comments
9 Comments:
I'm still fond of putting shrimp in strategic hiding places. That smell takes years to fade....hehehe
ahhh food placement was another specialty of mine...fish patties were horrible (no shrimp available from the cafeteria)
My early education in Destructive Behavior 101 began with Krazy Glue. Some of those old wooden school desk/chair combinations had little metal feet that glued nicely to the floor. When they were stuck and the victim got angry and would pull them up, the four little metal feet would remain glued to the floor. Only problem then was that the little feet were merely large nails and without the chair legs became very dangerous spikes sticking a couple inches out of the floor. They always produced yellow tape hazard areas until they could be dug out of the asbestos floor tiles.
He screamed over the intercom like a little tourettes bitch
*sigh* Tourette's syndrome does not cause people to spout obsceneties. Coprolalia does. Only about 15% of people with Tourette's also have Coprolalia. Only one person is sick enough to not care what sort of references people make to the illness, but is royally ticked when they use the wrong name for it. That would be me. Yes, I suppose it would have lost something if you'd said "Coprolalia", but I can't put my quest for vocabulary expansion on hold because of that.
By the way, my father-in-law says that, for a gag, they used to put plastic wrap over toilets so that guys would have urine bounce right back up on them. Of course, his job was loading bombs onto B-52s... obviously, those guys were insane.
Yeah, damn I forgot the Coprolalia
post from a few months back.
I've got tourettes stuck in my head becuase of the kid in the grocery store shouting shit over and over and being told tourettes was the disease when in fact it was a combination.
Dad once did a similar act of damage in a high school chemistry class. As the teacher called out roll, the entire class threw their heavy chem books as he reached a certain name. Needless to say, they hated that teacher.
I was alway fond of super gluing quarters on the ground in front of a coke machine. Good times.
My husband was recently telling me of some of the office pranks that they've played on the guys at work. One of the most elaborate was one they did to a guy who was on sabbatical (2 month vacation). When the guy came back to work, he had an entire bathroom in his cubicle: toilet, sink, and a claw-footed bathtub. LOL
I never thought about shrimp as Gunny brought up. I've got an idea brewing for someone...
Haha! That was mean. But it is really funny!
Post a Comment
Welcome back
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home