Weekly google searches. UPDATED...
I got this idea from goldbloom's blog.
She posts the humorous weekly searches that end up leading to her blog.
I tried it myself. Some of these are too good to pass up.
These search terms also make me wonder about how the content of my blog could be misconstrued when taken out of context.
Here goes:
Beast Forum bestiality. Sick bastards, I just posted that earlier this month because it was number one for blogs stats and I was #333. Sorry to disappoint you sick fucks looking for donkey schlongs and sheep trim.
Honey moon fucking: Sheesh! Go have your own honey moon asshole and quit trying to watch other people.
Hammer boobs torrent: Ok... must be some new fetish I haven't heard of.
Rattle snake bite jokes: I didn't know there was more than one.
Roll over: Not tonight darling... my roids are actin up somethin fierce
Shower guys: Must be my old coach trolling the Internet...fucking pervert. I hope you fall off your chair while whacking off and break your fucking neck asshole.
State root: I wasn't aware that states had official roots, flowers, songs, birds and trees.... but roots?
Green chile Alfredo sauce: Hopefully not to be used in conjunction with any of the above
How to legally tow cars in manatee county: Stepped in what?
Making exploding cigarette loads: Uh... earth to dumbass terrorist in training....be sure to test them on yourself first.
French nude beaches: Want to see more black monster wigs hanging out of speedos? Beast forum might be more your speed.
Carbonated vinegar: I like to drink mine while dumpster diving, Ahhh refreshing!
Update!! this just in:
Rat Sticky Paper: I hate it when they don't flush...
Skunk Beer: I guess thats where "drunk as a skunk" came from
Hotel Nude: C'mon people just get naked in your own house.
Reniasannce faire cleavage: Dude..ever seen it? Trust me. Stop searching...
Tipping is stupid: You looking to find an article to back that up? Cheap ass mofo.
Labels: Humor
posted by Bill Rowland @ November 12, 2006
6 Comments
6 Comments:
I have a great sense of humor, I think. One day years ago I told my brother in law that I would fuck a rattle snake if someone would hold it's head.
He told my wife, I guess you know how that went over with her.
About 4 or 5 months ago, i made a little post about best friends.
85% of my visitors are referrals from a "best friends" search on googles, and a bunch are from the UK
so I guess they are all friendly (or friendless) over there.
On a few occasions tho, I got "hot wild asian schoolbus" I forget what post mentioned a schoolbus and asians , but now that it's in your comment section (thanks to Moi) you will get them preverts now too!
and death to all perverted gym coaches as well!!!
Now that I've finally stopped laughing, I think I'll go check mine. Being able to do that is something I truly enjoy about Site Meter. The best thing so far has been that it turns out an author I read sometimes googles himself, I guess to see what's being said about his work, and he's commented on my posts about his books a couple of times. It was the author I recommended for my first Literary Wednesday.
At least I finally stopped getting freaks searching for who sings I Walk the Line in that Levi's commercial. Now I keep getting the ones looking for info on why Faith Hill may or may not have freaked out an the CMAs.
I am totally afraid of doing these types of searches. I have this phobia that I will get an error message like "Error 666 - Your Operating System has just been sucked out by the internet" Or something weird like that.
Hammer, you got my vote for a brave blogger. I especially liked the little side comments.
Flyinfox_SATX
For the last couple weeks I've been receiving searches for "hermaphrodite sex"
It was all due to a post about slugs & snails awhile back! All queries came from the UK & UAE.
You're a brave, brave man Mr. Hammer. You can do mine - I'm too chicken :)
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