The snake farm.

Back in the day, on IH 35 between Austin and San Antonio TX was a little place called the snake farm. We passed by it several times over the years. One day after visiting the flea market, some friends and I decided to stop in.

The main room was filled with small aquariums containing several different species of snakes and a small card explaining their habitat and such. This was fairly interesting. On the back wall were concrete and chain link pens with crocodiles, alligators and gars. We arrived just in time to see them throwing rabbits and chickens into the pens for feeding time.

Next to that was the largest snake I had ever seen. I believe it was a Burmese Python 32 feet in length. It's body was curled around a huge tree that filled it's pen. This snake had a head the size of a large dinner plate and his body was as big around as a telephone pole. I was glad he and I were not meeting in a dark alley.

Next to the back door was an odd cage that began inside and passed through the wall so it had an outside area. Inside, was a monkey of some sort. It had black fur and weighed about 25 pounds. This monkey seemed a little agitated and nutso. He was in a rather small area with people gawking at him so I guess that may have been his excuse.

We waved at him and made monkey sounds like all ignorant fools at zoos do.

This nasty little primate proudly displayed his anus to us and before we could move he spread open his corn hole with two fingers in a seemingly well practiced move. With the other hand he dug around inside looking for goodies. Shocked and stunned we just stood there frozen in horror, gawking at this dirty monkey as he stuck his ass finger into his mouth and began to lick it gleefully.

We gasped, shocked at this puerile display and clearly voiced our disgust and displeasure at the act my friends and I had just witnessed.

Pleased and overjoyed at our disgust and displeasure, the monkey had a fit of laughter and cackled at us while slapping his knee and rolling around the bottom of his cage.

Apparently, we had just played the monkeys favorite game. "Gross out the newbie tourists."

We had great fun in the following months taking friends and acquaintances to the dirty monkey show.

We would all laugh and roll around cackling along with the monkey as our guests recoiled in horror at the ass eating primate.

Those were the days.