Just popped 1000. and a joke to boot
Thanks again to all you kind folks who pop over from time to time.
Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?"The other says, "Circumcision."The first boy says "Oh, man! I had that done right after I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"
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A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy.""Oh yeah? Who was the guy?""Tiger Woods.""Tiger Woods, the golfer?""Yeah.""Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone."What are you doing?" asks the wife.The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.""Tiger wouldn't do that.""Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?""He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.""Tiger wouldn't do that.""Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?""He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?""No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what par is for this damn hole."
Labels: Humor
posted by Bill Rowland @ October 01, 2006
4 Comments
4 Comments:
Congrats Hammer...here's a joke for the occasion:
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries. "He says you're gonna die."
Heard the tiger woods one recently. Hilarious. And the rattlesnake joke is OLD.
Ever hear the one about the lady who's driving here BMW through the hill country and sees a farmer out in his field having sex with a sheep? She reports him for animal cruelty and testifies against him in the trial. At the end of her testimony the lady says to the judge, "And there's one more thing you're honor. When that sick bastard was done abusing that poor sheep, he laid down next to it and the sheep put his head on the mans shoulder." One jurist leans over to another and whispers "They will do that you know."
Okay well what about this one:
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children." St. Peter lets him enter. The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter tells him to go ahead. The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care." St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "You can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell."
LOL great jokes!
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