Random thoughts.

About 600 people have died of regular Flu in the United States since the swine flu scare started dominating the headlines. I wonder if this whole outbreak scare is some sort of ploy.

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You know what? If you come to me bitching and complaining about a health problem and I give you health advice, don't come bitching to me about the same problem until you at least try what I recommended...the same goes for marital advice and money advice. Don't just do it half assed either mother fucker because I will find out. The only reason I even offer to help is make you shut the hell up about your constant penile discharge, repossessed car and cheating spouse.

The best way to get losers, leeches and pity party cases out of your life is to be consistent. Just keep saying no when they want to scam something from you. Don't give in. Pretty soon they will move on to greener pastures.

If the birds are shitting all over your porch..don't put out a bird feeder. If you don't like homeless/scam artists hanging out and begging at busy intersections do not give them money.

Don't want stray cats fucking, fighting and pissing in your flower beds? Quit leaving a bowl of tender vittles on your front porch...I think you see where I'm going with this.

I was with my son watching Mail Call on the history channel and R. Lee Ermey Showed how the soldiers put condoms on their rifle barrels to keep them clean, dry and in good shooting condition. My son looked over at me and asked what condoms were really for.

I told him they were made to keep your gun dry, clean and in good shooting condition...a couple minutes later a light bulb appeared over his head and he said ewwwww!