A day in the life.
I wake up about 4:30 or 5:00 AM. I sleep with the TV tuned to something educational, so by the time I'm ready to get up there is some strange fruity guy with a fake accent demonstrating a new gimmick for cleaning floors. That is usually enough motivation to get me up and moving.
Ugh. I remove my football mouth guard that I got at the sporting goods store.
It keeps me from grinding my teeth at night and waking up with ground up enamel in my mouth. I already chewed though the one that the dentist made me. The only drawback is that it makes my mouth taste like a lake. I've got to brush my teeth and right away before I do anything.
Next, I get the kids awake. I've learned to stop being sweet and nice about it. The lights go on and I do my Sgt Carter impression: "MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT. I get the kids their medicine and try to keep them from cussing and punching each other on the way to the bathroom.
I've got to supervise the brushing of teeth and positioning of the hair. It's tough doing pony tails so I have the girls stand behind me so I can reach backwards to tie their hair up properly.
We always have issues with finding shoes, socks and backpacks despite my best efforts to take care of this shit the night before.
When I get downstairs I fire up the TV. Morning cartoons soothe my nerves.
I'm never sure if they eat the lunch served at school, so I make each one of them what they like for breakfast to make sure they get properly fed.
The youngest girl likes eggs sunny side up with toast and butter.
My middle daughter likes Oatmeal with cinnamon, sugar and milk.
My son always asks me to make scrambled eggs mixed with diced sausage and cheddar cheese topped with a ton of Tabasco.
By this time my wife comes down and I have her fried eggs waffles and a glass of milk ready on the table. I also pack her a lunch in case she can't get out of the office to eat.
By this time I'm getting tired and toy with the idea of driving the kids to school in my T-shirt that reads "she farted" But I know as soon as I do, I'll be forced to interact with some butt breath dickwad at the crosswalk.
I finish getting showered and dressed then get the kids to School by 7:15.
I usually drop off the dry cleaning, and head to the store to get milk, eggs and bread and whatever I'm making for dinner that night.
When I get home I check blogs, balance the check book, make any calls or appointments then take a quick nap. Then it's time to clean up the house, do the dishes and pick whatever shit the kids left all over the house.
I'll read a few more blogs and soon it's time to get the kids. I leave early so I can get a good spot to where my kids don't have to cross in front of the other psychotic parents speeding up and down the streets. I usually have a few minutes to read a chapter or two of whatever Heinlein book I've got in the car.
Once the kids are picked up, we get back to the house, and I make them a snack and we start on home work. Now that all the kids are in Elementary school we've got three sets to complete. The thing that sucks about it is that I know how to do the problems but I have no idea what the hell the instructions are talking about. Numerated word sentences? WTF? So I teach them to do it my way.
Once that's done I'll read some more blogs and then start dinner. Once again, everyone wants their own thing but this time I make them help me if they want their own special order.
When the wife gets home I usually cook her either, chicken or steak and vegetables and open a bottle of pinon noir.
Sometimes we watch a favorite show if we can agree on somthing that's not a romantic comedy. or I go hang out and watch you tube with the kids.
By 9pm the kids are in bed and I'm tired. So in goes my mouth guard, on goes The science channel or history channel and I'll doze off. The wife is usually asleep so she doesn't mind the sound of the TV but I've got to keep it on to drown out the ringing in my ears.
Part of me misses being out there running a business, dealing with customers and the outside world but I feel fortunate that I can do all the stuff for my kids that my parents couldn't do for me. I'm sure the rat race will still be there waiting for me once the kids become less dependenent.
posted by Bill Rowland @ November 05, 2007
51 Comments
51 Comments:
oh you have such a busy day. I'm so proud of you hammer, not alot of mom's or dad's would do what you do.
Neither kiddo or I are morning people. It used to be hell to get up and get him up and make him breakfast. Now that he's older, he has decided he has to get up at 6, because he needs to veg for a few before getting dressed and eating. I sleep till about 6:45. Then we both get dressed and make sure he gets everything else done, and I take him to school. I eat after I get back.
I usually come home and read blogs, then work on some paper work either with avon or bills, or appointments.
Then I get on, read a few more blogs, play a card game, then start the typing of the stories for that guy I work for. I work on that till about 1:30, then gulp something down for lunch and go get the kid at 2:30. I go early for good parking too, and I take a book to read.
Then post office, home, homework, insert all the snacks and straigtening up, dishes, laundry, and making dinner. I get in bed about 11. Watch some t.v. and turn it off about midnight or 1.
I remember when my three were all younger...but never all in the same school at the same time.
You cook to order? WOW! I never did that...except on birthdays or some other special day....
this sounds suspiciously like my life, except ours are teens and band geeks...one plays the violin, bassoon, clarinet, guitar, clarinet, flute, keyboards, oboe and various other instruments...and the only reason he doesn't play any percussion or trumpet is because his little sister likes to have the one-up on him in those departments.
...they're evil i tell you...
although i do get out one day a week to do payroll at my husband's company, so i cannot complain.
Sounds like a hectic, frantic- I couldn't do it for 30 seconds withoutbeing worn out life- but it sounds like it suits you like a-- well like a suit should fit. Damn it. Taylor made!
You go Hammer- you keep on raising you kids right and wear the she farted tee shirt one day... just for kicks..say why do you think I'm standing on the crosswalk dumbass- he'll hit you- you'll cry like a baby, go home have a beer or 3 and all will be right by suppertime!
Miss ya bud- Be back on line full time next week one day!!
John
Damn, your day is busier than mine is & I have a full-time job.
Grinding teeth in your sleep, me too.
I miss my cult kids now that they are grown... but don't miss those mornings!!!
You reminded me of 2 funnies...
Youngest boy never opened his eyes for about the first hour... walked into the kitchen poured his cereal and milk... to the table ... ate and then dishes rinsed. All with eyes closed. You could track him some days by the trail of cherrios.
Middle son.... we always did breakfast big on Sundays. First ones up voted for the menu. He was always one of the first up... cept for this morning. Kids had voted panckes,,, he sat down and said "I prefer waffles Mommers" ... 5 kids and pancakes was a HUGE chore and I wasn't in the best of moods that day and what he said PISSED me off. I went to the kitchen and grabbed my huge metal meat mallet and then proceeded to pound the crap out of his pancakes. Broke the plate lol.. but damned if that cake didn't look like a waffle... he shut the hell up and ate it. Now whenever the kids are home for a holiday or something and we are having pancakes,,, well you KNOW what he always says!!!
Your kids arfe lucky to have you there doing all that for them...it's something that a lot of kids don't have. Keep up the good work....it's a far better thing to do than being out in the rat race...
Peace
I hope your kids appreciate this special treatment. I sure didn't cook to order when my five were home. The rat race will always be waiting when you need it.
I love being home and without my business that I DO from home, would go crazy. I have to say, when they are in school, I enjoy down time or time to work or time to watch Oprah or something.
Wow, your days are full! I'm still on my first cup o' coffee and am trying to figure out how you do those ponytails. I'm fairly sure you were kidding. And I'm not 100% sure I grind my teeth but I know I clench them, I've already cracked one molar. I'm considering one of those mouth guards.
I find this chain of events hauntingly familiar....All except the wife part but I am working on it....
Flyinfox_SATX
Busy guy... I have the same issues with backpacks, shoes, books etc strewn throughout the house - my kids are in elementary school too... though they sure as hell don't get fed as well as yours in the morning! Most times its cereal and toast, although now and again we'll do eggs etc - although usually on the weekends when we have more time.
I am so jealous! I'm ready to leave my day job after reading this. Seriously.
I did the stay at home dad for ONE week when our kids were in elementary school. I told my wife when she got back I wouldn't trade jobs with her for all the money in the world. I just didn't have the stamina.
As for the tinnitus have you tried a small fountain next to your bed? I have good luck using some kind of white noise to mask the ringing
You do more things in one day than a trio of people. You're amazingly capable and organized Hammer. The kids and your wife are lucky to have you. And those specialized breakfasts - wow. The business world will still be there when the kids grow up...
unfortunately, yeah, that rat race will always be out there waiting.
Burfica: sounds familiar :) I used to stay up super late too but the lack of sleep was killing me.
katherine: I wouldn't normally cook to order but since I've been cooking for people with dietary problems and allergies for so long I can whip a bunch of different things really fast.
nanc: oh lord I couldn't imagine that kind of band practice going on in my house. I'd be even nuttier :)
John: I've got a whole slew of offensive T-shirts to wear. I think I'll save them for the parent teacher conference :)
brandon: Sometimes I miss the cubicle but then I remember working too hard for people who didn't appreciate it.
lexcen: I don't know what causes it but it's annoying as hell. Especially when the kids keep hiding my mouth guard.
cheesy: Oh I get livid when they complain about the food. I need to use your method.
odat: you're right those ungrateful rats never once appreciated me.
kat: I like doing nice things for them. I think I picked cooking over playing barbies.
Stepping: My favorite times are school holidays and summer vacation when they can be home with me all day. I'm weird like that.
Janet: I can't do the ponytails in front of me it's a good thing I have long arms. Sometimes when I'm particularly uncoordinated I just let them wear a head band
flyinfox: The wife does the hard stuff like take them shopping and to ballet class and teacher conferences.
kevin: I like it when they ask for cereal but there is always one that wants bacon and eggs :)
scarlet: It's rewarding. I think my kids will pick me a nice rest home ;)
david: I had the fountain for a while and it helped.. but I kept having nighmares about overflowing toilets.
annie: thanks. I'll have to keep my skills up. I could be a nanny or a short order cook ;D
minijonb: I used to think if I waited long enough the rats would get wore out :)
Oy vey! Just reading this post made me want a nap.
man oh man do I ever wish you had been my dad (and that isn't sarcasm).
they are all very lucky to have you and I am sure they know it too.
Hammer most dad's wouldnt want to stay home with there kids. You are great and you know it. Keep it up and they will remember that forever. Those kids are lucky to have you in their lives.
You are lucky guy Hammer. Enjoy it. Cheers!!
I did the house parent bit for some years starting when the youngest was 4 and the oldest 7 - I loved it I never got what these feminists rant about being trapped and stuff - it was great not to have to earn cash and spend my time doing things that matter and people care about. Well done to you Mr H!!
qofd: sounds like a good idea :)
canadian flake: thanks!
tweety: I think it makes them feel more secure. Daycare these days is expensive and poorly run.
matt-man: I feel lucky to have this kind of opprotunity.
mutley: I hear ya. Trapped in an office with a bunch of tossers or in the house where it might make a difference.
I'm trying to picture the ponytail tying business.
Life is such a grind...right?
No matter how your patience is mightily tried, any parent who's there...really there...for their children is a hero.
That being said, I just can't picture the ponytail-tying.
Not having to do deal with the math texts at our public school was one of the best perks of homeschooling! The way they explain things now is just STUPID! Have you encountered rounding yet? The way they do it now makes no sense!
I can understand writing new history and science texts, as we learn new things about our world, but math doesn't change. I see nothing wrong with using the textbooks I learned math from. My generation is much better at math than the kids our current educational system is producing. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"
A fellow Heinlein fan,eh? No wonder I LOVE your sense of humor!
Holy SHIT! can I be your wife too??! lol
paulf: I kneel down she shands behind me with her head on my shoulder and I reach back and do her ponytail like I do my own. I tried it front ways but my hands are dyslexic or something :)
mushy: it's not that bad :)
loon: I'm trying to set a good example for the most part. see above for the ponytail explanation :)
tshsmom: I just saw how they do division and rounding and I must say I'm very annoyed by it.
litlsassy20: lol how about a waffle instead ;)
Very busy day, well organised and managed. Seen from here you look like the perfect daddy. The children are lucky to have you as a father, we are lucky and proud to have you as a blog friend.
Are you for rent???
So busy and yet you find time to spend with us. Wish there were more responsible intelligent hard working souls like you on the planet.
You are pretty motivated sarge.
I take it you're a single dad then.
~Oswegan
Sorry I didn't read all the way - wife still in bed part.
I have a short attention span, sorry.
~Oswegan
Few women seem to find this job important so I'm proud of you. I think blogs would have made life a little less lonely for me back in the day. I did get addicted to chat rooms when the kids were older.
Ahhh, she has her head on your shoulder. That helps, otherwise, I'd say you're very flexible. I kinda figured you have your own ponytail going on.
Incredibly organized and dedicated. You da man. I also thought you'd have a pony tail, but you sound great no matter if you're bald or ponytailed.
I dedicted a post to you. Check it out!
kitem: I'm far from perfect. I have a very little patience for acting out. some people say I punish my children too much.
h20: lol I should be on nanny 911.
jp: That is very kind of you. I figured I could beat my head against the wall in some company or with my kids.
oswegan: I've got a house full of gomers ;)
jeannie: blogs really help. It gives me a sense of community and lets me talk to smart friendly people.
paul: I know it's hard to picture :)
bridget: thanks! I haven't cut my hair in a long time :)
I remember days like that and I actually think it's easier to be able to get away to the office and just forget about all the home stuff for a while. But my days were very similar when my kids were in grade school too. I have to say I'm impressed with you though. Not a lot of dads could handle things like you seem able to do!
All that and good looks too!! What more could anyone want??
Whoa! Isn't life crazy-busy these days? I work full-time now, but I miss staying home and being able to do all those things for our kids. I had to go to work so we could have health insurance. (It was way too expensive to get at Stucco's work.)
Good for you for being there for your kids!
Damn Hammer, you will make someone a good wife some day...
I do the dishes and clean up at night since I'm up all night the nights I don't work. I also get the boy out of bed, dressed and fed before the wife gets up since I'm home from work about the time he gets up...and again up all night on the nights I don't work.
My wife tells me I'll make someone a good wife some day.
She's a smart alec.
Your kids will appreciate all the time you gave them =)
my day is similar. do crazy dogs and cat count too? I don't miss the grind at all. Good for you Hammer, you seem to like it and that's important too.
You are awesome! If only other parents saw the need to leave the rat race for a time period to focus on their kids! I applaud you Hammer!!
I am impressed.
Its nice to have an image of your day. :) You sound like Super Dad/Hubby to me.
These are the things your kids will remember and think fondly of later in life. "Remember when Dad used to..."
Nostalgia is a precious thing.
I know you probably go through a lot of those football mouth-guard things, but every morning when you take it out, throw it in a bowl of water and drop one of those efferdent tabs in it, and that'll keep it fresher and make your mouth less funky. I have to sleep with my retainers on, and that's what I do. I leave them soaking all day, and I rinse them off thoroughly, and they don't taste like anything when I put them back in. :)
I know your life is not without its trials, but it sounds like your family is in a healthy and happy routine, and that kind of structure can make for a very nice life. I'm happy for you.
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