Nice guys pump gas.

This is what an old southern boy told me once when he saw they way I treated people. He basically meant that people who are kind, tolerant and forgiving never go anywhere in the world and end up marginalized in society.
He was probably right. I've spent most of my life getting stepped on, insulted slighted, humiliated and teased. It usually wasn't worth the fist fight and I knew I wasn't supposed to hit girls and people smaller than me which was pretty much everybody.
So I took it. Even to this day people push me and I take it. To a point...
Everyone has their breaking point. Some people want to take me to my limit. I have no clue why.
They push and push like it's a game to see how far they can go until I lose my cool and end up doing and saying things that are completely out of character for me.
These days, I don't interact with people outside of the blogosphere for the most part. It's just not worth the aggravation.
When I do go out and deal with people in the real world. I calmly and firmly stand my ground.
I don't fear anyone. I've been through enough bullshit to know when it's time to puff out my chest and look someone in the eye and tell them to get ready to eat their teeth.
I have no idea what people have to gain by messing with the gentle giant. Even the most docile of creatures will fight when backed into a corner.
What is there to gain from all this? Why are people such fucking assholes?
Labels: Personal interest, Rants
36 Comments:
Because they're masochistic. They want to get beaten up by someone bigger so they can brag about it, and probably sue you. I feel for you.
People are assholes because they can get away with it.
Our society has some serious issues, and what's worse is most of us don't care enough to remedy the problem. All we do is acknowledge it.
Next time you run across an asshole, just flatten it's ass. Unless it's me of course... I'm fragile and will break easily.
Hammer,
I have had these issues all my life as well. As the token Hispanic, I had my share of being picked on as a kid...I have found that I deal best with my frustrations with Comedy.
Keep the faith...you know my e-mail. If you need to vent, go for it.
Flyinfox_SATX
I wish I knew the answer to that one. For a while I thought that it was simply because they ARE assholes at heart, but I think it's more than that.
Unfortunately, it could be one of any number of things or perhaps even a combination of several issues.. their insecurities, ignorance, feelings of inferiority and/or superiority, something they need to prove to themselves, a challenge, a strange need to have someone bring them low, etc. Who knows?
I think with each person it's a different issue or combination of issues that drive them to do the type of thing your talking about. Regardless of what it is though, they all have one thing in common, a complete failure to remember one of the most important golden rules in any society and/or situation...
Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated.
At 11 years old I was 6'2" and weighed 211 pounds. I was always the big kid and as such knew that I couldn't win a fight..if I beat up a little kid I wuz in deep shit and if a little kid beat my ass I wuz in deeper shit from my peers. So I avoided trouble when I possibly could.
Later as a teenager those little kids who had always wanted to fight grew up to my size or close to it..they paid for their sins.
But I found as an adult it is always better to avoid the fight when you can..but running from it doesn't help. I have lived with a code "don't start no shit and there won't be no shit" for years and it apparently has worked for me..I am still alive and not in jail.
As someone who is NOT a huge guy, I know all about assholes. They're everywhere. I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Mean people suck." I saw the same bumper sticker that someone had edited with an X-ACTO knife; it read, "people suck." I tend to believe the edited one. I know there's plenty of good people out there, and I work with a bunch of them. There just seems to be more and more of the worthless ones these days.
I think it also has to do with the way A you are brought up B how selfish you are and C How much of a compassionate nature one has for their fellow man. Im with flying fox for laughing at these assholes..
I think most folks are good , but the assholes of the world are kinda like black holes...they try to suck in all that is around them & belittle them to nothingness, outside of something to feed their ever-starved ego.
Being the gentle giant that you are, you surely must come across more assholes than the average person.
Years ago, I made friends with a really nice guy who happened to be 6' 7". One night I wanted to go out dancing & he said he couldn't go to bars because he always ended up in a fight. i had to see it to beleive it. Everywhere we went some drunken asshole would want to fight him, I guess just for the sake of fighting. They tried all avenues...from just saying 'You think you're bad because your a big ole boy...well, step out, I'll show you.' to even the extreme of one fellow man-handling me to get to him. It was quite an eye-opening experience. This man picked zero fights, initiated nothing yet continuously had to have his patience tried.
P&L to you!
My son has the same problem. Someone is always trying to take him on because he's big. We suspect its for bragging rights. He's also a gentle giant and avoids trouble whenever possible, I worry for the guy that finally piles on the last straw, I suspect he will have the life pummeled out of him.
Who pushed you Hammer ? what brought this on ? Is it Samantha ?
(((((HAMS))))). It's all been said, so I'll just give you a hug instead ((((Hugs))))
Hammer you are a wonderful person, don't let the assholes of this world get to you.
My oldest son has had it rough the last several years...it seems he's a bully magnet. I tell ya if I wouldn't end up in jail I'd take care of some of them myself.
Dear Gentle Giant: most folks are opportunists and will pick the penny up from the sidewalk because it is there. I have a hard time letting people do things for me because I don't want them to think I used them or owe them in anyway. Stay sweet.
I hear ya. I never feel as dirty as I do when I lose my temper and yell or whatever. I hate that I let them best me like that. But I don't lose much sleep over it either.
I can live with myself the best when I've made efforts to be as nice as possible to those around me, stranger and family alike. I still want to rip off heads from time to time, but I'm better at keeping my cool now.
I don't know what it is about the big guys. I had the same thing while growing up. It's like all the westerns I used to read, there was always someone who wanted to try their luck with the baddest gunfighter in town to test themselves. It always struck me as being that same mentality wanting to try taking me on.
But there's only so much any persong can take. People say, "the bigger they are, the harder they fall," but I tell them that the flip side of that coin is, "the bigger they are, the harder they hit too." Force = Mass X Accelleration.
I'm getting a sense that someone is coming dangerously close to finding your breaking point Hammer! Your last two posts are somewhat out of character, yet spot on accurate. I want to bash someones head in just about every day for one dumb ass thing or another...but I remain calm...
I'm gonna bet that if you and my brother were put in the same romm, given identical haircuts, and spun around, my brother could come out and sleep with your wife...
Well, OK, not really. But you and he would be similar, as he looked like the pic of your father...
He's taller than me, and more gentle than me, and he tolerates a lot more than I do.
I think growing up a year under his shaddew gave me a more aggressive nature, competing with that galloot and all.
Big guys have different glandular influences than smaller hot-headed guys. That's why the term "gentle giant" applies and everybody nods. The different gland mix gives you chemically an easier going disposition, less fire, more mello marshmellow.
I'm like that too but I have a switch that is much easier to reach than yours, apparently.
Humans still have evolutionary tendencies in spite of taking twenty years to grow up. We practice aiming games to simulate the hunt (basketball, baseball, darts...etc...) We like big boobs because we think there is more food there for our offspring...
We also still vie for heirarchy subconciously, and you being an alpha male due to size, is the reason you get challenged.
If you had my scary, evil eye twinkle, people would tend to knock that shit off.
man hammer I am the same way. I don't understand how all these people that just take advantage of others, get all the friends, all the attention, everything. Yet, people like us that try to do the nice thing for people and who try to do the "right" thing. We go nowhere. But I don't think I can change being a good person, just to get somewhere in society or some material object. It's far more important to me to be a good, decent human being and to teach my child the same way.
sadly some people have nothing else in their lives !
assholes is right Hammer..
cia4now xx
Sorry you are having a rough time--I don't think any of us can asnwer this question. But i like you simply refuse to tolerate it. I bite back
I take shit from no one. And sometimes I even like confronting assholes, I enjoy pointing out the stupidity of people who deserve it. Cheers!!
Well, I'm dealing with one in my driveway that I tried to help and is now just using me.
Maybe you are right, that good people are marginalized, or at least used by the users.
But I don't tolerate it as much as I used to. Instead of letting it go on for months, this user will be gone soon.
I believe in giving chances, helping some, after that it is up to them.
I've pulled his power cord (again) and locked the box, now it's up to him.
I don't get involved with people like that. I keep my distance from people that pollute toxic attitudes.
And to answer you question. People that are assholes are just really unhappy. Their fucking life sucks so much they want to make everyone else to feel like them.
today this bitch cunt closed the door of her bus on me
yeah that's right, On ME
like i am in the door, there is a human being in front of me, he is not moving, so i am not moving, she sees me and she thinks, stupid bitch, i will teach her to climb onto MY bus, and closes the door ON me.
This after the mentally ill person that I am seeing for FREE as a counselor did not bother to show up
and on the way to do volunteer work that i was supposed to get free tickets to a show in exchange for doing.
ask me if i got the tickets.
I like people Mr H - may I publish my email here so all the friendly souls you know can email me?
I have asked this question over and over and I'm yet to find an answer. I like coming to your blog because you tell it like it is. You don't hold anything back. You are right. Everyone has their breaking point. Some people push and push until they send you over that breaking point and you wind up reacting in a way that is not normally you or they anger you so much that you do react and then they have you right where they want you. This then is more fuel for them. It does not just happen in the outside world, but in the blogosphere too. My question is just when is enough enough. How much abuse should one person be subject to? I'm going to start a post on this. Thank you for the topic.
Hammer, so sorry to learn that you are going trough a hard time! I hope better days are going to dawn soon.
According to my experience, some people mistake gentleness as weakness. Most will not stop till they hit on resistance. Then, they start to bow and scrape.
I ceased to ask for their motives or listen to endless explanations and excuses. Usually, I do not even take revenge. I just throw them out of my life, be they relatives or not. Life is too short to waist time on such people.
I don't understand anyone messing with anyone. I think the assholes of the world like to make everyone else feel like shit - not just you - because it's the only way they can feel good about themselves. And then they can get all "what did I say?" when someone loses it and punches out their lights.
Maybe you'll should give some warning growls before you lose it. Or just tell them to shut the fuck up. Say it quietly while looking them directly in the eye. And hold the stare.
I'm guessing this isn't a hypothetical question anymore...and that someone in your life has disturbed your peace.
Hope it's not someone you cross paths with often.
I did something a few years ago that dramatically cut down the amount of assholes in my life: I wrote people off...be they friends or family. After enough strikes, you're OUT!
Hammer, I made that post do drop by and read it and thank you for encouraging me to really think.
I'm in agreement with the people above who suggested dropping those people from your life. If you are able to shun them, then by all means do so. They have taken enough of your limited time on Earth. Refuse to let them have one more minute. Replace them with other, beneficial people, those who give a damn about you. Then you'll have no temptation of taking the assholes back.
The shunned will make all sorts of attempts at reconciliation. Don't bite the bait. They could've shaped up after any of the unpteen second chances you've already given them. They just want things to go back to the same crap as before, after a small period of being decent to you.
The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference - I can live better without you around than with you in my life, so out you go into the cold.
I know of which I speak, for I have conquered some major assholes by using this excellent neutering process. The relief is exalting.
janet: to me it's insanity. but yeah I don't want to get sued that's for sure.
Ryan: My last confrontation with the assholes I almost didn't recognize myself they made me so angry, I'm glad they left before it got worse.
flyinfox: token coconut here. thanks bro I appreciate it.
groovy: It's probably a mixture of those things along with a sociopathic manipulator.
guyk: I see a lot of paralells. Once I started fighting it's over quick. Like you I've been able to avoid jail (knock on wood)
gunny: I need that bumper sticker. It seems that some want to live a soap opera and want me to play along. eff them.
judith: I'm trying, but it seems they keep finding buttons to push. I find myself slipping into asshole mode.
skinnylittleblonde: You nailed it with ego, that's a big part of the problem with my enemies and your friend in the bar, yeah that was me too.
kat: I feel bad for him. It's hell to be stuck as a nice guy in a asshole world.
annie: Not samantha this time but I still have that unresolved battle ahead of me.
barista: thanks it helps to have so many nice people to keep me centered.
mrsjosegoldbloom: thanks: I've been sweeping this issue under the carpet for a while. It's time to finally decide how to clean up.
nomas: I want to rid my life of these irritants but running into obstacles. Got to break some eggs to make omelettes.
Jam: I remember being forced to fight in school. Now it seems stupid, but I will have to do something. Yeah these people don't have enough to do they must take me on at high noon.
jp: Luckily some of the worst ones have already gone off on their own
havne't seen them in over a year. The others, lets just say they need to stay on their side of the fence before they get stomped.
scott: you make a lot of good points. I'm not competetive or aggressive except when it comes to protecting women. Ridding my life of assholes is going to be a learning curve.
Burfica: My son is just like me just by coincidence. I'm going to have to teach him a few things so he doesn't have to suffer the same indignities.
het: Thats seems t be the way it is
turnbaby: thanks, This really shouldn't be my fight but it's getting that way quick. I'll be biting or they will be back pedaling.
matt-man:I need to stop being so damn diplomatic. I choose friends that can be rude so I can see them in action.
bbc: good luck with that. yeah I turned off the money tap on some fucking losers and now they think they need to get me back.
carrie: You are right about them being unhappy. I think I'm close to disowning the whole lot of them.
infinitesimal: sounds like you are having a week like mine.
mutley: I wouldn't want to trouble you but thanks for the kind offer :)
rose: I'm not sure how far some will go but from reading your posts it looks like you have your hands full.
e: you are so right. I'm done wasting time and resources on those who bring nothing back. There will be some changes.
jeannie: I'll remember that advice.
these assholes have zero credibility with but are still being coddled and reassured by others who don't want to risk losing them.
vancouver: I'm cutting some cords and unlike before I think I may have more backing.
rose: thanks that was a good post.
mts: good advice. always before I took them back becuase everyone thought I was a hardass for not forgiving the stealing, lying, character assasination etc... Now I'm all done. I don't care what anyone thinks.
you know what?
i am gonna say it.
i am pretty sure it was because i was a white blonde chick, and she was not.
that is what pissed me off the most, it was sort of a hateful thing, not just an asshole thing.
plus, like, i am NOT the top of the list to be hating on, lady....
well.
goodnight
Fathairybastard: That was very moving. You explained a lot of stuff that I felt but never saw put into words. I first started standing up for others when I wouldn't do it for myself. I have no idea why I wasn't scared of fighting for others.
Not sure where my first boost of confidence came from, I got goaded into a fight once and won, from that point on I still avoided fights but less out of fear and more out of not wanting to be on cops.
The last physical stuff I did involved me bouncing at a couple of clubs. My heart wasn't in it. I just picked em up the drunk over my head and put them outside and locked the door. Couldn't be a prick no matter how hard I tried.
Thanks for the comment, you make a lot of sense.
People that try to get back at me soon learn that it was a stupid thing to do. :-)
Well, everything has been said I think!
I hate assholes too. I'm sick of them. I'm sick of being trodden on by them.
It's ME who has to change though - assholes hone in on those they KNOW they can 'affect'. Otherwise, why bother?
Let them be assholes, but change the way you deal with them.....
They'll get their 'karma' one day - and I agree with Carrie - they and are unhappy.
bbc: no doubt look like you hae figured out how to handle the worst of it.
KB: absolutely, there is no one I can change except for myself and my reactions to assholes.
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