I like Vegas

I consider Las Vegas a sort of home away from home. There's something about it that makes me feel good. The place isn't perfect and sometimes the timeshare assholes, nudie pamphlet hander outers, cabby's and panhandlers can get on my nerves, but once I'm in a casino/hotel everything seems to come together and I'm right at home.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a big time gambler, drinker, show watcher or whore diddler. I just like to soak in the atmosphere, the flashing lights, the beeping of the machines and the care free feeling that seems to emanate from the place.

There's nothing better than dropping a few quarters in a machine, drinking an ice cold bud and not have to worry about going to bed, getting up or even driving home.

I usually stay in the Luxor. It's the big glass pyramid. The rooms are nice and have an Egyptian artifact motif thing going on. The elevators (inclinators) go up and sideways and there are always drunk people on the elevator that don't realize this and it's great fun to watch them puke on their shoes. The other great thing is you can reach 5 other casinos without even stepping outside. Tunnels, trams and moving sidewalks can take you pretty much anywhere you want to go. If not, hop in a cab and it's just a short 8 dollar ride to about anywhere on the strip.

The food is pretty good if you know where to look. No place is really bad except the Excalibur breakfast buffet....(shudder) Gone are the days of the coupon books and 99 cent steak and eggs but if you shop around you can do alright.

I also like Vegas because I am luckier than the average person when it comes to winning money. After about 11 trips to Vegas in the last 16 years I think I've only had one losing streak.

I think it's because I know when to walk away, cash in my chips and take my winnings back to the hotel room. Many than once I've walked up to a machine, won $400. $500 or $700 took it to my wife and said "we're not spending that."

I think the best ever was when I won the super nickel jackpot, I think it was 50,000 nicklels. We took the money, went to see a couple comedians, ate at nice steak house and went to the machine gun range and shot up everything they had. Those poor guys almost broke their thumbs loading submachinegun magazines for me. Hehehe

The wife and I are easy to please when it comes to vacations and even if we are just sitting by the pool with a top shelf margarita, an umbrella and no worries I'm fine with that.

I've finally decided that I don't like going with other people. I took my in laws and they were too scared and too cheap to have any fun. I took my bowling team and they were angry about losing money and complained about everything. I took my dad and his wife and all they wanted to do was sit at one machine for 18 hours straight until either they or the machine got all the money. I took my nephew and his wife and they just wanted to eat constantly. Fucking pigs.

From now on it's just me and the wife. No pressure no hassles and no worries.

I'm going to plan another trip here in the next few months, I think I need a recharge.

Depending on your personality, it can be a fun place even if you don't drink, gamble or diddle whores.