Hit the showers!
Once again, a post on Steven Novak's blog reminded me of a traumatic time in my life.
When I first moved to Texas things were a little different than I was used to.
At school, teachers and coaches expected you to say "yes sir", and you could legally get your ass paddled at school by a ape armed administrator armed with a two by four.
History teachers could teach that slave owning was ok and that blacks preferred it that way.
And..for the first time everyone was expected to shower after gym class.
At 13 years old, most guys are self conscious about their bodies, and always before getting naked around others was optional. In previous schools, I always carried deodorant, hand towel and a change of clothes and was able to change in privacy. Nope. not here. the coach had a large wheeled device with little metal basket drawers. Everyone took out their gym uniform and placed their regular clothes in the basket and the whole big thing was rolled into a locked room.
The first day of gym class we played basket ball. We were a little bit sweaty, I figured I would dry off a little, put on more right guard and get dressed. When we got into the dressing room I saw that our clothes were still locked up.
The coach was a late 20's stylish looking guy with a lisp and impish grin. He yelled for everyone to shower. Shit. Everyone kind of looked at each other and didn't move. The coach yelled again, "you will not get your clothes unless you are naked and wet" This dressing room had a large open shower area surrounded by a half wall. Hesitantly everyone took off their clothes and marched into the showers like we were off to the gas chamber or something.
A couple of smaller guys that hadn't yet grown hair on their private bits tried to argue and bargain with the coach about them having a rare disease that doesn't allow them to touch water. Nope. This coach even ignored notes from home. "Sorry I didn't bring my glasses" he would say.
So about 30 of us were in this hot stinking shower trying to lather up with tiny dried out bits of ivory soap. Then the special education class came into the locker room.
Oh fuck.
These guys loved to shower. The special kids threw off their clothes like it was free tapioca pudding day at the nudist colony.
I was trying to hurry and rinse off when I noticed coach. He had his head resting on the half wall of the shower with a huge grin on his face. He was staring at us. Lets just say he wasn't making eye contact...
Coach pederast was ogling all the young guys in the shower...he didn't want us clean. He wanted us naked... Just then a huge naked retard came running across the shower. He dropped and did a controlled slide into about fifteen of us. Strike! All of us were knocked to the floor arms, legs and nuts flying everywhere. Each of us trying desperately to retain any shred of dignity we had left. The other specials thought this looked like great fun. So they all began running at us wildly like a huge perverted game of naked red rover.
Coach pederast was laughing his ass off and obviously storing up mental images for later amusement. Luckily, I was able to duck out of the shower before the next retard salvo hit. INCOMING! My comrades were not so lucky.
I grabbed a towel out of the bin. "What the fuck?" was my first thought. The towel was stained brown, hard as a rock and about as absorbent. I wiped my self off as best as I could. Just then, I noticed one of the retarded kids with a towel between his legs one arm in front and one in back pulling back and forth like he was trying to saw himself in half. The towel was halfway up his butt...ahh that explained why they are all brown.
In order to get your clothes back each kid had to display his sweaty naked body to the coach and then and only then would he reluctantly hand you your basket of clothes. Fucking pervert.
When we were finally dressed we were ten times as sweaty and much more smelly than before. Apparently someone complained, either about the voyeurism or the naked retard bowling.
The next week, our assistant principal came into the shower room with a clip board. He was an early thirties ruddy faced guy with a bowl haircut.The whole time he sat there on a bench, staring crotch level into the showers with the biggest shit eating grin imaginable.
I guess my school was staff was appointed by NAMBLA.....
Labels: Humor
posted by Bill Rowland @ November 06, 2006
26 Comments
26 Comments:
I went to gym once. After that traumatic encounter, I only used the time to formulate plans for the rest of my school day. I was called to the office once and only once for being "absent from class" to which my attorney responded "My boy was there. Your coach should have an eye exam". I would appear for roll call then retire to the equipment room to tie knots in shoe laces and pull padding from football equipment and other assorted devious acts of revenge for destroying my concept of physical education. I think all "coaches" are pedophile suppressed homosexuals who could care less about education. He had a number of memorable years while I was there, and they weren't pleasant memories of my teenage pecker either. He paid for his pervertedness.
We had lesbian Gym teachers that watched us shower.
And, they weren't pretty lesbinas, either...
They were big, manly ladies that we liked to call, "Yes, Dude".
We staged a protest and paraded around the school for a few days... had our parents call and complain.
They didn't get fired, but they weren't allowed into the shower room with us anymore.
Too bad for them... cause that's when all of us girls started to make out with eachother in the shower.
Bwahahahaha....
I'm fairly certain every gym teacher I ever had was lesbian. I don't think they even have gym class any more. Probably because they couldn't find a straight gym teacher.
Good Lord. What an evil sumbitch. My high school was (un)lucky in that we didn't have showers. They'd been converted into storage rooms. Smelly, but at least no perverts. I feel sorry for you.
- ISU Tinkerer
I remember the seventh grade. Me, still waiting for my first pube to curl, while three legged apish donkey king kongs swung themselves around the showers making soap and orifice jokes and brown nosing the "coach".
The funny thing that turned out, was that they all stopped growing right about then, lost their hair at thirty and died of heart attacks at 42.
Karma, baby. Karma. And I got all the really pretty ones...
I remember 7th grade gym too...Unfortunately I was one of the late bloomers. Our school also had one of the big open showers. We didn't have naked retard bowling though...at least that would have created a diversion.
This is wrong on so many levels I don't know where to begin. Going to an all boys High School made me the demented bastard I am now. I think I would have been totally psychotic to have gone through this shit!
Glad to see that you are still somewhat normal after all of this.
Flyinfox_SATX
Motha Effa
You know we are the same age, and that I grew up in Texas, Houston... and guess what?
I had a lesbo gym teacher too.
She would not watch us directly, but her office was right near the showers, and she had plenty of windows...
I hate gay gym teachers. Why in the fuck do they hire gay gym teachers?
Or pedophiles too I mean, I guess it's not the gay as much as it is being into kids.
It makes me so pissed.
Of course, the jocked out girls were the favorites, of course i was not a jocked out girl.
shudder shudder shudder. Oh yeah, i remember the corporal punishment thing too, the principal could not WAIT to get to my bare ass, except i called my Daddy from work and he tore up to the school in his pick-up truck and SCREAMED at the principal for being a pervert (my Dad had a rule, only my mother was allowed to beat my ass) and after that, miracle of miracles, I NEVER was in trouble again. lots of girls got into trouble with the pricipal.... and the boys? guess who gave the boys SWATS? YEP THAT'S RIGHT, THE GYM TEACHER!!!!!
(they made you take it off, bare assed too)
fucking Texas, no wonder the prez is such a fucktard.
PS it's infinitesimal, you switched to BETA huh?
Wow, where in the hell are you people at? I didn't experience any of that when I was a youth in Northern Idaho in the fifty's.
We got naked, big fucking deal, we always went skinny dipping anyway.
In the Navy we all showered together naked. Besides if someone pervert is watching you, it can't bother you unless you allow it to. Yank it at them, thrust it at them, see if they have the balls to keep looking then.
If they do, go over an poke them in the eyes.
"yes sir" ???? No shit? I was raised in a mining town. I could just see some stupid dick telling me to say that. Mr. this, Mrs. that, was fine, that is just good manners. But yes sir? Not unless I want to out of respect.
Damn, 7th grade gym is apparently a universal trauma. I'll never forget, Eisenhower middle school in San Antonio, about 1974. Never showered in public before that, and all the other guys had. The coaches weren't pervs, but were determined to make us shower and clean up. I don't think I really got over that shit till I was in my early 30s and working out in a gym. Became second nature to go to the shower or the sauna and thought nothing of it. My dads generation grew up swimming naked in creeks and rivers with all their friends each summer, and our coaches from that generation were probably wondering why we baby boomers were so sensitive. Generation gap?
In other words, all men have dicks, get over it, and yourselves, not everyone is a pervert. Hell, in the Navy boot camp we had asshole inspections before going into the pool. So fucking what? Just fucking get over it.
I'll get naked in front of anyone, it's no big deal. If everyone was naked it would get old fast to the perverts. It's just the imagination that carries that along.
I would rather see a woman with suggestive clothes than see her naked for example. Unless of course she is really hot. LOL
BBC Hindsight is 20/20 I wish I could go back with the cajones I have now . I would have peed in the coaches face.
You just reminded me of 8th grade when two lesbo coaches walked in when we were all naked.
One of the lesbo's was pretty hot for having the severe look.. so one of the jock boys flipped his wang at her. She popped him in the nuts with a towel she happened to be holding..."CRACK" I was happy to see that asshole go down.
I still don't know what would possess those women to walk in on us. I guess since they weren't interested they thought it was no big deal.
Umm. I don't think that there were any lesbo's in my town back then. But what would I know, I was just a stupid kid back then and didn't even know what a lesbo was.
And I don't have any problem with them now as long as they are not a problem.
For the record, all of my schoolin' was done right here in Texas, and no one ever said in my history classes that slavery was okay or that blacks liked it that way. Where do you come up with this stuff?
Showing wasn't a horrible thing for me. Rarely did we actually get hot and sweaty enough that it was required, and rarely was there enough time at the end of class for it. When it did happen, we had showers with curtains. Keep your towel around you any time the curtain is open, and you're okay. That was in middle school. The high school was on two campuses. On one campus, each shower had a "dressing room" about the size of a bathroom stall in front of it, and those had doors. I don't remember the showers from the other campus, so they either were not a traumatic thing, or I'm so traumatized I repressed it.
I feel it's important to mention that the word "Showing" in my comment should be "Showering". Obviously, all this talk about pervert coaches watching influenced me when I typed it.
Phoenix:My 7th grade Texas history teacher told us that her family owned slaves back in the day and according to her great grandma they were happier that way.
She said once the slaves were freed, they longed to go back to the plantation.
When a student critcized the teacher for promoting and condoning slavery, the teacher called her a whiney baby who couldn't grasp the truth.
This lecture was quite an eye opener for me as a recent arrival.
From reading all the comments it seems out schools are filled with perverted homosexual child voyeurs.
I thought my school was special.
Lovleyand: I didn't know they did the bare assed paddle, that is fucking disturbing, the worst we had was the holes drilled in the board for better aerodynamics
Fathairybastard: Even 25 years later I still don't like it. I think I was born modest.
flyinfox: The only reason I stay fairly normal is becuase I blog about all this stuff that clutters my mind. The good thing is, I am prepared to go kick teacher/administrator ass if my kids even get one iota of the shit I did from school.
Scott: We had the donkey dongs too
for some reason they were too busy playing slap and tickle with the other three legged jock donkeys
alicia: We should have had an anti pervert protest and called the media, man if I knew then what I knew now. Problem was back then most parents were 100% anti kid and 100% pro teacher. If anyone tried to go tell someone they would get it even worse.
JP: It's great to read a revenge story now and again, sounds like you were a real hell raiser.
This is disturbing, Hammer. I know this things is happening, not only in Texsas or USA...I come from Norway as you know, it's not any better there or any other place on earth I have been. But it IS disturbant when children are not shown respect.
Even as babies, I never let my children be all naked when I changed them after bath. I fast covered them with a towel and moved it away as I dressed them.
Even children have the right to be shy and be respected for that.
Hammer, your teacher may have had some good points that got lost in wording them poorly. (Was this teacher any relation to John Kerry? Maybe we can just say it wasn't about slavery, it was a botched joke about the President.) There is some historical evidence that would suggest slaves were taken care of much better than we've previously been told, but not for the right reasons. It was a matter of protecting a valuable piece of property. They were expensive to replace and could be sold at good prices if they were healthy, good workers, good breeders, and not inclined to run. That's all disgusting to someone like me, who doesn't believe a person should be regarded as property, but it does mean they likely were not beaten half to death every day and did recieve some sort of medical care.
I think a better way of teaching the lesson would have been to discuss how many former slaves didn't know how to function as free people, and many stayed on with their old masters for small wages rather than go out into "the big, bad world". That doesn't mean they liked it, just that it was their comfort zone. It sounds like your teacher ruined the facts with some ignorant ideas.
on the issue of slaves...they were brought here directly from mud huts and tree vine public transportation. Their value as described gave them the more humane treatment but also more likely the affection as afforded pets. They needed the structure of controlled living environments since the years spent in Africa produced nothing for them to go on. They were incapable of blending in with society here. I understand these general statements describing an entire race are subject to many exceptions, but statistically, these behavioral patterns ingrained from their heritage is why so many end up in prison or on public assistance at such a higher rate than other ethnic immigrants. They are simply incapable of forming their own civilized society. Slavery was therefore a gift of the west to the primitive African natives to give them lives beyond cow urine baths and human excrement insect repellent. Call me what ever names you want. The simple logic tells the story best.
I don't have to call you a name JP
It's just sad.
sad that you have reason to think that way and sad that you voice your opinion in such a way as well.
but, it's really attention that you seek, isn't it?
Ahh yes, the days of jr. high gym class and the perverted/lesbo/voyeuristic coach. Just about had it all at mine. Girls had the lesbos (one was an aspiring golfer, the other was too butch for words), and I had a closet case and his substitute was the 7th grade history teacher later arrested for dealing in child porn. I never felt comfortable in the showers, so I avoided it as much as possible, except in extreme hot situations. Washrag and deodorant were my cleaning supplies. I still became the stinky kid to my classmates, but that didn't phase me. Just glad to hear that others have dealt with a similar situation.
Intolerant, I think that is some of the most racist crap I've heard in a long time. While someone who's moving from one culture to another may have trouble adjusting, I find it extremely difficult to believe that black people are forced by genetics to act like savages all these years later. The idea that blacks aren't the same as whites simply because they're black is the kind of crap that was first used to excuse treating them like second class citizens, and is now used by the liberals as a reason to give them handouts. Giving people jobs they aren't qualified for, or letting them into schools they aren't qualified for... that's just a way of saying, "You're not capable of doing well on your own, so let us help you." Black people are perfectly capable of following laws, getting educations, and being productive members of society.
like I said, it's attention seeking behavior....
Loved this laugh-out-loud post. 'specially the naked retard bowling. Even if they weren't totally digging your naked young bodies in a sexual way, you've got to really wonder about people who get off on seeing other people vulnerable and miserable like that - how shitty can you get?
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