Things I've learned.
Don't ask a question if you are not mentally capable of handling a truthful answer.
Some might think thoughtless, inconsiderate words and actions may not be worth mentioning for fear of of being petty.
It's better to speak up. These little things can silently build up over time and cause major damage to a relationship.
Don't fall asleep to the True Crimes and Serial killer channel.
A task you assign to someone else will be, ignored, screwed up or done half assed most of the time.
Reliance on strangers for your personal safety and well being is foolish at best and deadly at worst.
Always leave yourself an out and don't trust that someone else is looking out for your best interests.
Don't shit where you eat.
No matter how rich you are, no matter how many accountants you have, ALWAYS sign your own checks.
Labels: Self help
posted by Bill Rowland @ April 15, 2009
29 Comments
29 Comments:
the zoo one is my fave.
they ought to add a line about charging your family for the animals medical bills...
And never fall asleep to Shark Week on Discovery Channel. I dreamed Chief Brody was making me go down in the cage with Hooper.
"Things I've learned" - and if you don't learn much else, you'll get by on these.
I like the traffic lights, reminds me of a Congressional session...
eli
Is the second last one from a brothel?
katherine: Sorry sir we are going to have to charge you for removing your femur from the polar bear's large intestine... :)
leeann: good point!
eli: Or the tax code..
Jeannie: It means don't have romatic relationships with co-workers.
I guess if someone worked in a brothel it might hold true as well.
All good advice.Can't believe they are asking that much for a wax "Dixie" plate,to feed your dog on.That must be the lights in DC,since that seems to be the center for confusion.
I too have fallen to sleep during one of those serial killer shows. of course in my dream I kicked their ass!
those are true
Pearls of wisdom from Hammer.
Everyone of them correct and pertinent.
The Hammer is a very wise man. Thank you for imparting your wisdom to all who are not worthy...
"A task you assign to someone else will be, ignored, screwed up or done half assed most of the time."
yeah, but that is because most managers/supervisors ignore the most vital part of their job...FOLLOW UP!
Diller: I could use those for skeet.
Michelle: they chase me around with kitchen implements.
snowmanpoop: Thanks :)
Admiral: Thanks :)
Mike: Snatch the pebble from my hand ;)
GuyK that's the trick. Follow up followed by an ass kickin followed by a pink slip and I end up doing it myself.
do you have personal experience with falling asleep during a True Crimes episode? Do tell!
~AM
I just love that one poster with the collectible plates! I saw an Obama (biography) movie in the movie gallery the other day and I hid it amongst some other movies, in hopes that no one will ever find it and watch the stupidity there in.
thing I've learned: when I speak up, my dear other half may not like it.
Washing genitals before use is not a bad idea.
airman mom: It was chinese mercenaries and they had black powder bombs...ouch
Becky: I will start hiding those items under the shrimp in the frozen food section.
Kitem: Wise words indeed. Washing genitals is a good practice no matter what :)
You touched on something that drives me nuts. i.e. When people don't speak their minds.
I don't get bent out of shape if a person doesn't agrees with me, I just want to know what the hell they actually think. Cheers Hammer!!
How about falling asleep on the shitter?
Ah yes, some very good instructions there. The one about giving assignments that don't get done at all or only half-assed brought back a lot of memories to me of my days in college with two teens at home, supposedly able to lend a bit of a hand with laundry, washing dishes, general pick-up around the house and my getting home from class and work at 11 p.m. or midnight, with homework to do, papers to type, exams to study for and yes, laundry, dishes and a messy house facing me then too! Guess what didn't get done though? The laundry sat as did the dishes and the messy house was there till they -or I -had the time then to tackle it!
matt-man: true: always speak your mind because not doing so is unfair to yourself and whoever you are dealing with
Jihad Gene: good point...falling asleep on the shitter means you need more fiber or more sleep.
A dog that shit's long don't shit fast...
Government: It will do to your room what the dog did - but it doesn't love you.
Speaking my mind: sometimes I have to keep it zipped because there's no use talking to brick walls, I can do that already and I don't shout at the light-pole for therapy, or fun.
"Who Dat?"
Whoops that was a different rant!
Hammer, here is a quote that helps me through the day from time to time: "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Einstein
- eli
Words of Wisdom from Hammer! Amen Brother...Amen!
Hammer- Thanks for the info! LOL
My dad always had this one for me.
Me: Dad I want {insert toy] for my birthday.
Dad: Well son want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.
I never understood that when I was younger but my son gets the same statement from me now.
all true.
okay, wiseguy...er i mean oh wise one!
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