Stupid people stuff
There are some things people say and do that are just plain stupid.
I'm not talking about isolated incidents. I'm talking about contagious stupidity.
For example, I hear women talking about a guy and they say some thing like: "I'd date him" I'd totally date him"
To me this is about the lamest euphemism I've ever heard.
They may as well say "I'd ride his baloney pony" Or I sure would like to play peek a boo with his kielbasa...
I just don't want to hear that shit.
Same goes for dudes, they have even more idiotic ways of expressing their amorous intentions.
"I'd tap that" "that's totally boneable"
And these aren't frat boys.. middle aged men say this shit and wonder why they end up home alone with Rosie and her 5 sisters every night.
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Power walking... It's about the gayest thing I've ever seen. Power walking reminds me of the dude in 4th grade that crapped his pants and did that slippery fast walk down the hall to the bathroom.
I thought power walking was finally dead until I saw my neighbor chugging along the main road wearing rainbow spandex shorts and an Obama T-shirt.
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Exercise TV shows. Do people really get up at 5am, move the couch and do beach Pilates along with the supermodels on TV?
I don't think so...it's probably more for the wiggly weasel whackers than anything else.
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The terms: "AIGHT" "BOOYA" "BOOTY" "DAWG" "FOREALS" "DATS WHAT I"M TALKIN BOUT" 'THATS MUH JAM" "OLD SCHOOL" "PEACE OUT" "PLAYA" "REPRESENTIN"
You're a thirty five year old soccer mom for crissakes!!..not one of Flavor Flav's posse... Quit babbling like a fucking idiot. You do not sound cool. You sound pathetic. Please stop talking like a 14 year old wigger.
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/rant off
Labels: true stories
posted by Bill Rowland @ April 12, 2009
45 Comments
45 Comments:
guilty of the "old school" use but that's about it.
totally....for sure....
I say old school too when referring to something outdated, like a certain retarded cabinet maker's methods of construction and installation.
I didn't know it was gangster speak or I wouldn't ever use it fo shizzle...
Hammer, thanks for keeping me up to date with the latest.
'balonley pony' (roflmao) never heard that one before !
And, uhmmmm, Hammer ? I power walk :)! Not in spandex and an obama t-shirt, but maybe your point was the attire during the walk and not the speed the burns the calories. I can't run, but I sure can walk fast :)
Totally agree with you about the slang. Stop pretending to be a rapper and speak intelligently, clearly, precisely. Oh, there I go again, having expectations...
Hope you have been having a good Easter holiday weekend, and the kids are doing okay -
Hammer,
Your neighbor in the spandex if its a guy, is probably trying to show off his package. I would say because its small.
The terms: I am catching ya on the down low G.
Exercise TV shows...HELL NO!
The two boys: too much MTV and not enough parental advice.
Id tap that: if its Jensen Ackles!
Hell yeah!!!!
I am catching ya on the down low G.
Not sure why anyone would want to use that one...
hammer...thank you for posting this valuable public service announcement!
~AM
You forgot one:
"AWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH"
That really needs to go... dawg.
They still have exercise shows? I used to try to do one back in the 80's. My husband would laugh at me.
I absolutely hate that anyone emulates ghetto talk/dress/behaviour - why on earth would this be appealing? What happened to people wanting to appear educated, sophisticated and with manners I aks you? (no typo there)
I think the women here are less euphemistic - they just announce they'd do the guy. But as you say - we don't want to know.
Power walking - looks dumb which is why I don't do it but I'm sure is a good workout - maybe best done on tracks than down the street. Out
LOL - Am I the only one with tears in her eyes?! OMG, Hammer...you crack me up, my friend! :D
I love the visual of your neighbor power walking in Spandex (with an Obama shirt no less). Ay,ay,ay!
I have a 44 year old friend who's always saying, "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout..." and yes, it gets annoying. It's annoying when a teenager constantly says it!
I've heard guys my age say, "Oh, she's doable," and it's equally annoying.
You did not shoot the guy in the obama t-shirt?
Katherine: That is about the least offensive, I guess it depends on context. It may be a crossover term now that I think about it.
"He's from the old school of thought" ..yeah good call on that.
Deadman: I may take that off my list. (see above) ha don't get me started on the izzles lol
Lexcen: Glad I could be of help :)
Annie: I'm sure you look much more classy power walking than the spandex dude on my street. For some reason when women do the power walk wiggle I don't mind as much :)
Airman mom: my pleasure :)
Woody: That is definitely a top contender for most annoying!
Jeannie: haha axe! Powerwalking wouldn't be so bad if it didn't have the twisty butt element to it.
Scarlet yeah "doable" add that to my list! I used to tell people they sounded stupid for saying "dats wut I'm talkin about"
but then I just gave up when I heard people my parents age saying it.
Admiral: I couldn't stop laughing long enough to get good aim ;)
Damn Dawg...your rant is the shizits!
Yeah, I can see why that would piss anyone off. I would slap them too Hammer...
The caps,sideways or backwards and the 4 wheel Boom boxes spewing Rap-a -dap crap,200ft away,I'm sure sooner or later,will be resposible for me spending my "Golden" yrs,in prison.When your my age,you can almost trace it back to the day,when this shit took hold.
Hey Homie!
I'm an O.G. so don'ts piss me off or I'll pop a cap in yo ass like my Obama did to them Somali pirates!Sheeet.
Old school rebel here.
I did tell my SIL two weeks ago that I'd ride that like the midnight train to Georgia.
But that was after three beers & two shots.
All I can say is that the chubbier kid in the photo looks to be a bit inbred.
Flyinfox: shiznits..lol sounds like a new treat for dogs.
Diller: I remember when the (c)rap first started and the underwear hanging out became popular..it should have been nipped in the bud right then.
Jihadgene: da seals be busting caps in those fools dat be dissin us an sheeit. ;)
Marianne: At least yours is clever :)
Sornie: I think he could be his own grandpa.
"My Bad" death sentence!
Which continent are you living on? That of course is all incomprehensible telly talk. I understand every word because I watch tonnes of telly but 'wigger' is a new one on me. Is it in the Oxford English Dictionary?
Cheers
p.s. of course! It's probably in Websters.
hammer - i'm guilty of gangsta speak, but ONLY if my two teens start it - and i do it to show them just how stoooopid it sounds! if they ask me to stop, i'll tell them, "if you will?"
and with zgirl - i'll say something like this, "and i was like...and they were like...and we were all like...WOW!"
"snap" death sentence
"Woot" Ok I'll stop
I hear that crap everyday all day. There are times I would love to reach over my desk and bitch slap my class. I came home for Tylenol and now I'm back to class to hear "That's wrong Ms." .... OMG...
Deadman: yeah "on the down low" lol I'll send you a funny email on that.
my point: all capital offenses.
Maddy: the television is bad about passing on bad speech patterns. I think wigger is in the unabridged version :)
H20: I don't know how you survive it.
Hammer,
The usage of such verbal banality should not just be restricted for those older and supposedly more mature as even my children know that such is not tolerable in my presence- nor allowed out of their mouths and more parents need to be reminded of this.
As for the rainbow shirted power walker- my eyes are bleeding.
I hate most of those too.
There is a guy that is an injured veteran back from Iraq that works with my husband. The two hated one's he says is.
Forreally one word. In stead of For real??
And Chillaxe In stead of chill or relax. OMG I hate them. No wonder he's still single.
Here's one of my favorites that I just don't get.
"MY BAD"
What the hell does that mean? Besides the fact that you flunked English.
It drives me nuts. And no one in my house uses it. People down here use it all the time as a way of saying OOPS. Or Sorry.
nanc: I use it to embarass and make fun of people too.
WP: If I hear one of my kids use an ebonics term I raise hell and make them understand that we do not mimic thugs and ne'er do wells.
Beachgirl: I used to think they were saying "my bag" because they are usually cupping their crotch when they say it.
OK, I'm in full agreement with banning "I'd tap that!"
However, I'm still kind of partial to "I'd hit that like the fist of an angry god!" and "I'd bang her like an old screen door!"
How about:"Ya know what I mean" and "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout" ? I know middle-aged men that will use those phrases 50 times in one conversation. *retch*
Come on guys! That is about as hip as white Girl from NC can get!
Oh man! I just read what It meant!
Yikes! I better get a ghetto dictionary out and come up with another one.
It's so nice to see someone address this stuff. I hate when adults talk like teenagers.
I'm sick of wiggers, and have always been. It's not being against people acting black, for I don't know what that is. But it's acting ghetto. Acting like people who need to raise themselves up, not pulling everyone else down. I act a lot like Bill Cosby, in fact, and have a sweater collection to compete with his. I wish to God I could play horn like Miles. I wish I could be as smooth as Derek Jeter.
White kids flashing gang signs at the camera that they don't know wtf they mean, wear their ball caps in every direction with no idea about the provenance of the thing, same with baggy pants. White girls snapping their fingers side to side and rolling their necks.
I just don't understand the lifelong adolescent lifestyle. And I've never met someone worth a cent who liked to say boo-yah. It's always been overgrown (age and waistline) frat boy high-fiving blowhards.
Maybe it comes from coming from an immigrant family that tried its best to tie in with the resident culture, and not sound all their lives like they just got off the banana boat last week.
Thank you for letting the rest of the world know about american habits ans talkings. But I just don't understand half the words there, I guessed though, I don't think I would understand if i'd overheard these expressions.
Burfica: Chillaxe? ugh
El Capitan: I remember reading the term a 17century term "banging like a shithouse door in a gale"
tshsmom: or every other word is "gnomesaing"
michelle: I have to use the ghetto dictionary all the time to figure out if I've been insulted or not ;)
terri: it makes my ears bleed ;)
mts1: You nailed it. Seems like people who want to better themselves rise above street lingo and present themselves more appropriately.
Kitem: glad to be of service. If you never hear any of these words count yourself very fortunate :)
The true problem with all of those examples is that they are completely superfluous. Dude is capable of expressing all of those ideas with 1/100 the effort. Dude.
dude I say old school but then again I'm not a 35 year old soccer mom.
Fuckin whiggers. I loath them fo sho. Pull your fuckin pants up and get a life.
Hammer,
Yes, because grown men should wear long pants and speak as grown men.
Toaster lover: Dude is all encompassing.
Snowmanpoop: Oldschool is acceptable now that I see the other context.
kerrcarto: Nah, let their pants sag you don't have to lead em as much when they're running with your stereo.
WP: Yes indeed.
"'Cause THAT's how I roll" makes me want to hit somebody.
But, you're right, the rap-derived sayings are almost as annoying as rap itself. I can't bring myself to call it music.
I soooo love your rants.
The truth is always funnier than fiction.
Oh, and I am pretty sure it's the men watching the 5am pilates class on cable.
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