Finish the sentence meme.

I stole this meme from http://barbara-007.blogspot.com/

You finish the first part of the sentence in red with your own unique response.

1. My uncle once caught me putting explosive loads in his cigarettes.

2. Never in my life have I eaten fish.

3. When I was five my parents put me in Catholic School

4. High school was an introduction to "Worthless shit 101"

5. I will never forget to put on my pants.

6. Once I met the worlds champion womens arm wrestler

7. There’s this boy I know who smells bad because his parents don't make him bathe.

8. Once, at a bar, I threw physically threw out a drunk Iranian for grabbing a customers ass.

9. By noon, I'm just getting warmed up

10. Last night I drank vodka and wrote captions for lolcat pictures

11. If only I had a hammer..I'd hammer in the morning...

12. Next time I go to church Satan will be serving snow cones in hell.

13. What worries me most is losing what precious few rights that remain and haven't already be regulated or legislated away.

14. When I turn my head left I see my reloader and supplies

15. When I turn my head right I see a closet door.

16. You know I’m lying when I say, "I wasn't staring at your chest"

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is not seeing a huge "tramp stamp" every time a woman reaches down to pick something up.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare it would be Julius Caesar.

19. By this time next year I will have my cars paid off and will be looking for property on the Texas coast.

20. A better name for me would be ??? I haven't a clue.

21. I have a hard time understanding why people are such assholes.

22. If I ever go back to school, I'll be much smarter than the first time.

23. You know I like you if I visit your blog and comment more than once.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be all my friends in the blogosphere.

25. Take my advice, never shave any part of your body after drinking tequila shots