Man issues.
What is it about men?
We walk a fine line. We want to be secure, stable and loved. We want a home and kids and stuff.
But we also want to be appreciated. Ever walk down the street and have someone of the opposite sex obviously notice you? It kinda feels good to still be considered to be a player in the game.
I've never been a vain person, pretty self conscious for the most part but sometimes I get the most retarded compliments in the worst possible situations.
Last Christmas, I was at a party, drinking wine and having a good time when my wife's manicurist came up to me and said she was interested in my physique. WTF? What am I supposed to do in those situations? Uh thanks... I guess...I always tell my wife when this stuff happens. She laughs her ass off and never gets mad at whoever does it.
I swear if some dude got all up on my wife and started chatting her up I would be an asshole sonovabitch and go all the way to kicking his ass if the situation warranted it.
When I worked at the karaoke bar, I got more offers for sex than I knew what to do with. There is a fine line between being flattered and wondering how many desperate people are out there willing to screw anything that has a pulse.
Of course I resisted the advances. there's no way I would jeopardize my family for an hour with a random hookup. That would be fucking stupid. I mean it's basically just another wet hole....
I finally got out of the bar scene. It was obscene. Back in the day, I couldn't get laid in a brothel with a fist full of fifties. Then all of the sudden I'm old and married and every desperate woman wants to jump my bones...no thanks where were you 20 years ago?
I don't go out much anymore. I've been there and done that. I have the tee shirt.
Am I the only one with these weird disturbing thoughts?
posted by Bill Rowland @ March 22, 2007
26 Comments
26 Comments:
No way dude. You know how many students I have hittin' on me, male and female? Like you, I've been behind the curtain and seen the strings. Managed to get through the 80s and 90s without a case of crotch rot, and not gonna go there now. That shit doesn't drive my life the way it used to. I think, "ok, we could rub bellies, but then I'd be forced to actually talk to you afterwards, and ya know baby, it just ain't worth the time or energy."
By the way, this is the sort of project I'm thinking of trying.
http://www.ak-103.com/Gallery_Images/AK-104/slides/100-0006_IMG.html
Hmmmmmm, so you're saying you WANT to be noticed, but only by women who DON'T want to jump your bones?.....glad to hear you'd NEVER go there - WAY too many married men do (and women too,I guess).
Your wife is secure, that's why she can laugh it off...that's very cool. I think men have an 'ownership' thing over their women (if they love them) and that's where the "OI!! she's MINE. F off!" thing comes in.
The thing is, you're about the age where women DO become a bit desperate - it's a very sexual time of life and if they're not married....well, they're looking!!! Probably even if they ARE!!! I can see why it's annoying, and yes, flattery is a totally different thing to being 'wanted' for sex. But go ahead, take it as a compliment! Obviously, you've still got it!! =D
Sorry, rambled on a bit there.....hahahaha!!
Your a good man Hammer. Sounds like you have a rockin' wife too.
I think you should look at it as a compliment.. it is one whether you want it or not. Take it for what it's worth to you, then brush it aside. Just don't let it go to your head!
It would be a bitch to have to remodel your house just to accommodate your head. :D
Desperation is just sad and pathetic and terribly unattractive...
I'm also thankful that I'm no longer quite so driven by hormones. Ironic that women seem more interested in men who aren't all that interested. But that's perhaps fortunate for us all.
My clubbin days are long gone, Like you Hammer I've been there done that and bought the T-shirt. When I get compliments, or looks now I just kind of smile and think That's nice. It is flattering to get the compliments every once in a while. I haven't had any guys throwing themselves at me though, thank God for that, I don't think Jose would handle that too well.
When I was younger I used to hate it when guys did the wolf whistle thing or that woohoo thingy...The fact that it irritated me used to be a source of amusement for my sister drags.
Nothing worse than a sloppy drunk woman trying too hard at a bar.
I find it kind of sad.
I suppose a drunk old dude trying too hard at a bar might be worse..
Never bring home something drunk you don't know sober first...
A good rule of thumb to teach the kids...
I guess that you are just too sexy for your own good, dude.
I turn down offers also, no point in fun and games at my age when what I need is just a stable relationship with a woman.
But all the ones I know are too needy or to frigging screwed up so I've just taken to avoiding them.
I have lots of interests and other things to keep me busy anyway.
Have a great day, sexy dude. :-)
i guarantee you're not the only one.
Yep, I avoided the crotch rot too :) and you're right not worth the time and energy.
KB: Thanks for the insight I'm usually clueless when dealing with
this issue :)
groovy: I guess you're right. Eveyone likes a compliment here and there. Don't worry, there are plenty of ego deflators to keep things in check ;)
choo choo: Absolutely. It's a real turn off.
mystic wing: I guess time and experience cures most people of running on autopilot.
mrsjosegoldbloom: that seems to be a healthy attitude and one I should adopt.
Scott: good advice, The kids might be a little young to appreciate it right now but I'm sure it will be needed eventually :)
BBC: lol I just think as people age their standards change and asthetics don't seem as important.
Brooklyn: Glad to hear that. I usually don't get much chance to compare notes on these issues.
Wanting to be noticed, and in the younger cases, desired, is normal.
Letting it run your whole life isn't.
I think the girls flinging themselves at you after you married your wife are taking a challenge - are they desirable enough to make you break your marriage vows?
Oddly enough, I notice not many men take the blame when they go astray. It seems like people blame the wife for not pleasing him, or the "skank" who lured him away from a faithful sweetheart. There are good girls and bad girls, and men are just men.
I know it's not true, but it seems to be the unspoken attitude of most people discussing the latest straying celeb.
- ISU Tinkerer
Just take it as a compliment and say "Thank you", and it is a sort of compliment.
I took a very interesting emotional healing course about ten years ago. The instructor got very interested in me one evening and started talking to me a lot. Then said "you don't take compliments well do you?"
I wasn't sure what he meant, he explained that every time he gave me a compliment that I made a sort of smart remark.
He pointed out that saying thank you was the right thing to do. So I try to keep that in mind anymore.
ISU: I don't think anyone is worth breaking vows over. seems to happen alot like you say. You are indeed correct about people not taking blame. I'm disgusted enough
with people that I don't want to go to parties and bars anymore.
BBC: I can give compliments but taking them is difficult. It always seems that way.
ISU: I don't think anyone is worth breaking vows over. seems to happen alot like you say. You are indeed correct about people not taking blame. I'm disgusted enough
with people that I don't want to go to parties and bars anymore.
BBC: I can give compliments but taking them is difficult. It always seems that way.
umm...my boyfriend says I get looks all the time. I wish I saw the looks.
anyway, I laugh my ass off if a girl says or looks at my boyfriend too. haha! women aren't dumb. we know when to be secure in our relationship and when to suspect cheating.
In my younger days (you know, a few years ago), I wasn't so secure and it turned out it was for a reason so I alwasy follow my intuition.
mr hammer
Im 43
I see women clocking me
Being a man , for about 2 seconds i think
"yes you still have it"
then common sense kicks in and I realise its either pity or they are considering mugging me.
Dang, we just have to consider it as a compliment. My husband wouldn't notice if I walked past him naked with a broom stick up my butt so I damn sure appreciate when others notice and provide compliments. Makes me smile to myself.
pink angel: Yeah it seems most know when to be secure or not. It would still piss me off though if someone I knew was making the moves
for my spouse.
hitch: lol lady muggers. they were checking the bulge in your pocket...wallet variety
nomas: lol you crack me up. Yeah compliments are nice. Everyone needs a boost once in a while.
Some women may be all over you because they know you won't act on it. It's a thrill with little chance of real danger - like a roller coaster. But most are probably skanks.
I found after I started going out with my husband, I got hit on a lot more - I think some of us must change our vibe when we are in a good relationship. Perhaps we let our guard down and that is more attractive.
I only get checked out by 65 yr olds now which is just creepy. Ok - younger men with beer bottle goggles too but they don't count.
RE: WHERE WERE THEY 20 YEARS AGO... lol we were checking out the then 40 year olds?? In the grand words of Sher Khan.. women.."these things are AWLAYSSSSSSS trouble" [Jungle Book}
I have to agree with Jeannie.. I think some women go for the married guys because they think they are safe.
I myself told my kids before you ever decide to sleep with someone... step back and ask yourself... would you be willing to marry this person? I tried to help my kids learn from my youthful folly.. not that I would have traded even one of them....
jeannie: I never thought of it that way. I'm sure letting our guard down or being off the market might send some kind of weird signal.
Cheesy lol I remember that line. Back when I was 19 and 20, 40 looked old to me. I guess now people seem young all the way sometimes into their 50s..better skin care products or different eyes?
you will find that old men and teenagers have at least one thing in common..they can think about a whole lot more than they can get
Am I the only one with these weird disturbing thoughts?
Yes.
Just kidding.
guyk: That is about a true statement if I ever heard one!
Janet: lol I deserved that ;)
It's all about Ebyjo now bro. :)
OPSEC you know. LMAO!
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