Anger management.
From about 5 years old, I was always a head taller than everyone else. My kindergarten graduation picture made me look like I was the dumb kid that was held back 3 times.
Of course, as always happens in these situations, my size made me a juicy target. Either the really small kids wanted to take me on to prove something, or the popular kids wanted to prove that my size was actually a handicap.
I was never wanted trouble from anyone, so I shrugged off the taunts and other stupid bullshit that kids do.
As most of us know now, turning the other cheek just gets you smacked around even more. As my anger towards life's rain of turds sharpened it all became clear. I had to start standing up for myself.
Most of the time I would protect other kids from bullies but not myself. Mostly, I didn't want to cause trouble and get my parents involved.
After a while it all became too much.
The first time I snapped was in 6th grade math class. The class punk and all around smart ass began taunting me, flicking trash at me, mouthing off and pretty much just making me miserable. I decided I had enough. This kid figured he could push me around and I wouldn't fight back due to the fact that I had never retaliated before.
As we were leaving the portable classroom, I pushed the kid down the stairs, picked him up and threw him about 10 feet into a pile of trashcans. I was really surprised how light the kid was when I was pissed off.
The pecker head came back and grabbed my legs, and tried to pull me down, I picked him up and flung him again. This time he ran away for good. I looked up and noticed there were a bunch of kids standing around me hooting and hollering.
I felt better. At least one asshole had been eliminated.
After that I didn't get messed with too much.
Until 7th grade, when a dorky friend and myself were sitting up against my garage shooting the shit when all of the sudden about fifteen of the tough lower class kids rode up on their bikes. The leader walked up and kicked my weak nerdy friend in chest knocking the wind out of him.
Before I knew it, I had the bully on the ground and I was beating the living piss out of him. None of the other guys got off their bikes when the instigator was on the ground crying and yelling for help.
After that I rarely turned my back on a fight. I knew backing down was the absolute worst thing to do. Cowardice always brings more trouble not less.
I wasn't a tough kid and I never wanted to hurt anyone, but the challenges of growing up in a pack mentality meant eat or be eaten.
These days I have to practically force myself to get really angry. I have to make a conscious decision to let go when it is needed for defense of myself or others.
Maybe that's a good thing.
This guy's story is what got me thinking about the subject.
Labels: true stories
posted by Bill Rowland @ November 27, 2006
14 Comments
14 Comments:
The same thing happened to me, and I premeditated an attack just like that guy did, except I didn't go so far as to use a fist load. I was willing to put up with a lot of stuff myself, but this punk messed with my sister, and I just wasn't going to let that happen.
The funny part was, the bully's younger siblings liked me more after I beat the hell out of their big brother.
I like your stories.
I was small and we as a family was picked upon as we could speak English, took school seriously and treated our employees well.
I grew up fighting and was, like yourself, suprised how easy it was to "donner" the bullies when angered.
Good for you, Hammer. It is something in your story that similar to many peoples experiences. Another thing...It is strange who strong one become, when one gets really angry. It's an unexpected strengh.
Being a girl i didn't have much problem with bullies but my younger brother did. He had neither the self-asteem or a supportive father to help him out. When he was 13 He shot & killed the kid who had been terrorizing him for years.
My kindergarten graduation picture made me look like I was the dumb kid that was held back 3 times.
You mean you actually weren't??
I was the typical 90 lbs soaking wet with clothes on weakling until I was 15 and got my major growth spurt. Before then, however, I was the target of bullies galore. I started studying martial arts at age 12 and a year later I ended years of abuse by wrapping a length of chain around a bullies head. After that, I never backed down from a fight, and I never had to fight again (seems most folks aren't as keen to brawl when they know the other guy is more keen).
MadRocketScientist
I spent a lot of my youth in a mining town. Fighting was a pecking order sort of thing and I hated it.
Managed to stay away from them most of the time but did get in a few fights. My stupid brother (that always acted the tough guy) told others that I could whip him, so they wanted to try me on for size.
I hate fighting but push me that far and you find a whirlwind, as they found out.
My last fight was with my brother when I was in my forty's. The dumb ass still figured he could whip me and picked a fight with me at my mothers place one nigh.
I whipped his ass and kicked him outside and he took an axe and broke all the windows in my station wagon.
I called the cops, they found him at the hospital getting stitches and took him to jail to cool off some.
I have refused to see the stupid fucker since then. I have nothing to prove to him, especially that I can whip his ass, I've already proved it about a hundred times.
My son was also a big guy, raised by women and taught not to fight. He put up with a lot of crap he could easily have ended with his fists, but didn't for fear of disappointing me. I think that was a mistake on my part, he's 21 now, and you can sometimes see anger boiling behind his eyes. I failed to teach him an alternative outlet to fighting.
Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do. Seems that I remember none of the bigger guys, myself included, ever started the crap. But we could finish it when necessary.
All 4 of my sons were 6 feet or over and never had to worry much. Except for their brothers. When they were in elementary school I used to tell my 3rd son that his 2 older brothers picked on him 'cause he made it easy for them. I told him if he would knock fire from their asses they would leave him alone. One day he got fed up, knocked fire from #2 sons ass and it all stopped.
Same deal with me, Hammer. Always big and mellow, and always defended the little guys but never really fought much. The times I did, were some sorry times for those who thought I didn't have it in me. For some reason I don't find it difficult to break people's bones with my hands. Feet or forearms. I prefer to end things like that than with my fist. Breaking a knuckle is painful. Most people stop fighting when they have a broken hand just damgling there. I have a funny midget story I should tell sometime. Hmmm. Maybe tomorrow..
The story that you posted was actually quite nice. I had similiar anger management problems when I was a child, and know compoetely what your talking about. Gotta take on the big ass, to have the others leave you alone. ;)
I never had a problem being picked on because of my 6'-5" 245-250 pound frame. Hasn't varied much from high school, the Corps, to now. But like Scott I'm was VERY similar in my dealings and also defended the smaller guys.
Your story, and the one you linked to, are good ones. It's a shame that kids have to learn hard lessons, but they indeed do. Parents can't teach certain things, they just need to be lived through.
My daughter was picked on and bullied by one particular Bully, on the bus,(and at school), after many attempts to get the school collective (adults) to do something about it, I told her, she needed to take the gloves off and wail on his ass.
Being of southern heritage, she didn't think that was the "proper" thing to do. So, she didn't.
So one day...this bully poked her in the back with a pencil, leaving the lead in her back, and a young man that was taking drumming lessons, happened to have his "sticks" with him, and he wailed up on the bully.
Young gentleman got suspended from riding the bus. "Bully" continued to ride without any reprocutions.
My daughter was afraid to ride the bus with the bully without "backup" and cried.
I told her....look...here is what ya do...and showed her some moves.
She said, "Mom? If i do this i will get kicked off the bus." I said,"yes...probably... likely.." "but likely you will have let bully know he can't do that shit to you and get away with it."
The next week, sure enough, she was the target again..and she stood her ground, and pummeled that bully so hard, that she was suspended for the rest of the school year (about 3 months) from riding the bus. It was ok...i had no problem taking her (and young drum stick wielding gentlemen) to school or picking them up.
But let me tell ya this, Hammer, after that?...No problem with that bully in school, if my daughter and young gentleman were around. They both made it a point to stand up to the bullies with their "found" reputations!
The bully is now serving life in a pen. for his drug dealing and acts of vehicular homicide.
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