The "wayback" lady
Scott from Oregon got me to thinking with this post.
I grew up around witchcraft, seances, ghost writing, tarot and past life regression. Being dragged around to mystical hippy conventions was part of my growing up.It's not that I don't believe in the stuff, I do actually, I just don't see what purpose it serves for the betterment of ones life.
Some of these people are downright fucking charlatans. They get (no offense) ignorant, gullible women in a room and take advantage of their good trusting nature.
A long while back, a co-worker dragged me to one of these things, the lady running the show was not pleased that a male was in the room interrupting her gravy tra...err energy levels. I paid my 10 bucks and did the past life regression. The stupid lady didn't realize this was old hat to me. I already saw my past lives long ago. After the "guide" finished taking eveyone through Mr Peabodies wayback machine, she asked everyone what they saw in their previous lives.
All these ladies were Cleopatra, Joan of arc, Helen Keller, Wilma Flintstone etc... How lucky was I to be in a room with such famous well heeled people. I was curious though, why would Cleopatra come back as a Buela Frumpfritter who lives in the double wide on Manteca avenue?
The cosmic continuum works in mysterious ways.
The lady didn't want to ask me what I was in a past life but since I was the only guy in there everyone was interested. I told her that I was a field hand, ate gruel, lived in a mud hut and slept on a dirt floor.
She did not like this answer at all. Here I am, a low caste commoner in a room full of mu mu and curler adorned royalty in exile. How dare I?
I could see our cosmic guide's face get redder and redder.
The second part of this class was a "food weakness" demonstration. The "instructor would have you hold a certain food in your hand and then push down on your arm. Of course she was licenced and trained by the "food holder hander arm pusher downer association"
This one lady held a piece of wonder bread as the teacher pushed down on her bicep. The arm didn't go down. Then the subject held a piece of lunch meat and the teacher pushed down on her forearm and it went down easily.
She said "you have a meat weakness. If you give up meat you will lose 50 pounds"
I calmly pointed out that if she pushed on the bicep both times instead of switching to the forearm for leverage that neither food would have any effect. I was immediately asked to leave the class for being a disruptive non-believing influence with negative energy.
None of the other sheep questioned my leverage discovery and some of these ladies found out they had tragic broccoli weaknesses.
I'm such a bad bad energy.
I grew up around witchcraft, seances, ghost writing, tarot and past life regression. Being dragged around to mystical hippy conventions was part of my growing up.It's not that I don't believe in the stuff, I do actually, I just don't see what purpose it serves for the betterment of ones life.
Some of these people are downright fucking charlatans. They get (no offense) ignorant, gullible women in a room and take advantage of their good trusting nature.
A long while back, a co-worker dragged me to one of these things, the lady running the show was not pleased that a male was in the room interrupting her gravy tra...err energy levels. I paid my 10 bucks and did the past life regression. The stupid lady didn't realize this was old hat to me. I already saw my past lives long ago. After the "guide" finished taking eveyone through Mr Peabodies wayback machine, she asked everyone what they saw in their previous lives.
All these ladies were Cleopatra, Joan of arc, Helen Keller, Wilma Flintstone etc... How lucky was I to be in a room with such famous well heeled people. I was curious though, why would Cleopatra come back as a Buela Frumpfritter who lives in the double wide on Manteca avenue?
The cosmic continuum works in mysterious ways.
The lady didn't want to ask me what I was in a past life but since I was the only guy in there everyone was interested. I told her that I was a field hand, ate gruel, lived in a mud hut and slept on a dirt floor.
She did not like this answer at all. Here I am, a low caste commoner in a room full of mu mu and curler adorned royalty in exile. How dare I?
I could see our cosmic guide's face get redder and redder.
The second part of this class was a "food weakness" demonstration. The "instructor would have you hold a certain food in your hand and then push down on your arm. Of course she was licenced and trained by the "food holder hander arm pusher downer association"
This one lady held a piece of wonder bread as the teacher pushed down on her bicep. The arm didn't go down. Then the subject held a piece of lunch meat and the teacher pushed down on her forearm and it went down easily.
She said "you have a meat weakness. If you give up meat you will lose 50 pounds"
I calmly pointed out that if she pushed on the bicep both times instead of switching to the forearm for leverage that neither food would have any effect. I was immediately asked to leave the class for being a disruptive non-believing influence with negative energy.
None of the other sheep questioned my leverage discovery and some of these ladies found out they had tragic broccoli weaknesses.
I'm such a bad bad energy.
Labels: Humor
posted by Bill Rowland @ December 18, 2006
21 Comments
21 Comments:
My father is a firm believer in anything that resembles mumbo jumbo. I remember him telling about a therapist who was treating a friend of his suffering Hodgkinson's disease (cancer). The therapist would transmit energy through the phone line to help cure his friend. Needless to say, she died from the disease. Dad once told me about an Indian politician who was reported to drink his own urine for health reasons. I always suspected dad was doing the same, in a foolish belief that it would keep him young.
Great story. I once believed in reincarnation when learning about other cultures and religions. I thought it made as much sense as Heaven and Hell. And like you said, if there was reincarnation, it was more likely that we were all living in dirt and dying of the plague starving.
I had a dream once that I would like to think maybe that was my past live, and lets imagine it's true, then I was not rich nor famous. I would have been italian, living in a small room off a cobbled street. And my room only had a table and a bench and I was worried because my candle was burning out and I needed to buy more candles but I would run out of money for food.
I have a bad feeling I will be African American in my next life...damn
Some goofy new age chick once told me that I was being reincarnated differently from most people, that is, from the future into the past.
I don't believe in it, but I let her say anything she wanted, because otherwise we got along so well.
I don't really believe in much, but I'm open to a lot of ideas. I also like to look at the more scientific aspects of things. For example, using tarot cards to explore my own unconcious mind through archetypal images, as opposed to some mystical fortune telling device. And I think that if reincarnation is real, the goal would be to experience as many different things as possible. So I don't necessarily believe someone would have a severe disability in this life because of something they did in a past life... simply that it's a new experience for that soul.
I easily get annoyed with the plethora of McWiccan authors out there peddling witchcraft and such as something to be learned in ten minutes a day for one week. I have no problem with people who take their faith seriously, just like Christians, but I also have just as little patience with people who use pagan and New Age religions to take advantage of people as I do with Christians who do the same thing. It's about attitude for me, not religious doctrine.
I have often wondered about that point, when it's talking about reincarnation...Always they are incarnated from Cleopatra, Einstein or other famous people. How can ONE person incarnate into several other people at the same time. If it was true...only ONE of them could have been Einstein, per excample.
I also have heard about several people as at the same time claim to be (Peter) one of the disiples of Jesus. How come?? Jesus have never lived. He was a carracter in a novel that was set up as a piece in the theater at that time...
I believe in reincarnation....But it is a lot of bullshit around.
That chick
I want her
LOL
Reincarnation is just an idea the monkeys came up and wrote about.
Butt!!! Consider omnipresence, always here, part of the living spirit.
Anyone that is part of the all was Cleopatra, etc. And they focus on that instead of the all. They don't recognize that they are also the souls getting killed in wars, and starving to death.
They can't handle such thinking so it makes them a little fruity, they don't want to be a part of death. They just know there is something wrong.
Umm, this could be a whole subject too be thought out and wrote about.
I don't care about Cleopatra, I like Nefertiti, ever since I was a young kid and saw her picture - even went on a pilgrimmage to see her in East Belin... And I can think of one particular chick who I used to work with who could have been her reincarnation - jeebus she was HOT!! Her hair smelled like matches, slightly sulfurous and scandalous and for a young pyromaniac it was demonic posession.
In church I always felt as if i jinxed the prayer meetings. They always said everybody had to agree in prayer, to believe in the power of. I never did. i think they were glad when i left.
That sure is a fat, but cute, little Orville Wright you've chosen to display!! No mas Puddy Cat!?
On of my all time favorite people believed in reincarnation (General Patton). I don't really believe one way or the other though.
I've had two dreams over and over throughout my life and I have often wondered if they could be related to reincarnation.
The first, I'm standing on this dirt road in rural Georgia somewhere. There are trees and such on both sides of the road. Where I'm standing, it's a small hill and I know if I follow the road down the hill to the flat part and go a bit further - that my small shack will be on the left. I know that a cemetery is to my right over a ridge of sorts. I know if I turn around and face the other way, there's a small store right down the road. Sometimes I dream I'm standing on the hill, sometimes I'm walking down the road thinking "I can't wait to FINALLY be home..." I always feel so peaceful in this dream and when I wake up.
My other dream is about drowning. Never one way I get in the water - sometimes the dream starts and I'm already in the water and I don't know or care how I got there. What makes them so real is that I'm struggling so hard to stay above the water, but when I finally go under, I can feel the water going into my lungs and I think "whew, it's finally over" or something similar and a great peace comes over me. Usually I wake up. Other times I'm able to look up and see the sun coming through the water way above my head and think, "I'll never make it to the top, it's too far" and then feel the myself drowning...
Just dreams of course. I guess it's because they are so real and they have reoccurred that makes me wonder.
Anyhow, sorry to ramble...
Personally, I don't believe any of it; but I am open-minded enough to consider it if someone can offer decent proof.
This post hits home for me. My mother is into this stuff. In her past life explorations she discovered she was a famous dancer Isadora Duncan (my mother was a ballerina pre-kids in this life) and I was one of the Isadora's kids that died by drowning. A shrink would have a field day with this I am sure. This deserves its own post to explain more, thanks for the inspiration.
I just looked at your site meter, you are doing okay for hits. But in looking at the big picture as I always do, we still don't exist.
But we must keep plugging along musint (sp) we?
I don't believe in reincarnation but get this: My son was 3 when I was pregnant with the twins. We had planned on naming a girl(if we had one) Cara. One day my son says, Mommy, Sarah is in your tummy. I said no, her name will be Cara. He said, NO! Her name is Sarah. I couldn't convince him otherwise. I was totally creeped out when he said, "A long time ago when I was an old man, I was married to Sarah and she is in your tummy!"
When she was three, our daughter went through a "phase" where she insisted that her name was not Cara but Sarah.
I can't take any of that shit seriously. Basically represents the human capacity to elaborate on a thing to the detriment of common sense. How many angels could sit on the head of a pin? Humbug. It's all phooey. What always amazes me is the fact that the devotees of new age, post industrial paganism see themselves as being SOOOO much more sophisticated than the dolts who sit and watch the TV evangelists and send them money. I see them both as two sides of the same snake oil show. But that's just me.
Yeah, it's pathetic how calculating some of these deceptions are. Sad.
That class definately had a cumulative brain because I am the reincarnation of Joan of Arc...duh! It is amazing that you weren't someone more note worthy since you were surrounded by amazing historical figures!
Your $10 was well spent...it's not everyday that you get to witness a room full of people that should not be allowed to breed!
My wifes mother has some...ummm...hippy tendencies...
She thinks I'm bad energy as well. ;)
Steve~
Sounds like my mom's group. They won't let men in their group.
"food holder hander arm pusher downer association"
giggle giggle, snort
Draw Circles
Have you ever driven by a house or a place and think you were their before but can't remember when, I have plenty of times and sometimes when I think even harder about it I can remember a bad experience with it bt I still can't place when I was there....am I or was I at one time I often wonder but I do believe I was placed on this earth to serve a purpose maybe I'm back because soemthing happened to me in my past that I didn't get the job done and believe it or not I'm not afraid of dying...why is it...I haven't figured it out....
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