Which one are you?

Let's start off with some hypnosis.

You are going back back long long ago to your childhood.

You are sitting in your 4th grade classroom.

You notice the blonde kid with perfect teeth that looks like they stepped right off of a Honey Combs cereal box is pestering and tormenting the fat kid, or the girl with braces. The gang of followers and wanna be cereal box kids start to join in the name calling or just point and laugh.

Did you sit in silence? Were you the kid being tormented? Did you stand up and defend the target of the abuse? What was the teacher doing? Maybe you even joined in the hazing out of fear not being liked or popular.

OK you can come back to the present day when I snap my fingers ...3 ...2. ...1 "SNAP"

Now as an adult how do you treat people? With kindness? mistrust? indifference?

Do you stand up for the weak? Do you join the Strong?

I've noticed that teachers themselves are part of the classroom pack mentality. Even though they are charged with the alpha role they often relinquish at least part of their power to the dominant children "the cereal box kids". Still wanting to be liked and popular these teachers buddy up, joke around with and use their position of power to fulfill their dream of being one of the "cool kids".

Pretty disturbing huh? Where does this leave the kids who do not quite fit in?

I'll answer that with another question:

What happens when the fox is put in charge of the henhouse?

I'm not sure if there is a good answer when dealing these types of behaviors and dynamics.

We can't sit and monitor every classroom and playground moment. Parents have to let their children out of the protective bubble now and then otherwise the child will remain dependent on parental protection.

The only thing we can do is mentor and hopefully give our kids tools to defend themselves.

One thing I tell my kids: When you act like food you become food.

I also tell them not to be afraid to stand up for themselves.

Assuring your kids that they will not get in trouble for standing up and fighting back they may end any victimization quickly.

Meet with the teachers, look them in the eye remind them that you do not tolerate bullying.

If your child is an alpha teach them to use their position for good and to come to the protection of the weak. It can happen. When the big jock kid stares down an aspiring bully everybody wins.